Geddy Lee
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“What's all this aboot then, eh?”
~ Geddy Lee on Geddy Lee
“The way out is a way in”
~ Geddy Lee on Anal Sex
Geddy Lee (Born June 66, 2112 A.D.), .
Geddy is often referred to as Obukitu. Most of his songs are about Suzukistahn.
He is also currently the bass player and vocalist for heavenly rock band Rush (they had nothing to do after the battle of 2112 B.C. so they formed a rock band). During the battle of 2112 B.C., Geddy teamed up with invisible guitar player Alex Lifeson, and Buddy Rich's cymbal cleaner Neil Peart.
He is credited with killing Mohammed, O RLY, and Oscar Wilde (though this can neither be confirmed nor denied) when he lured him to sleep with his Barry White impression, then killed him with three pink flaming balls, two of which were his own, explaining his castrati voice. When he is not landing gigs, huffing kittens or practicing Atheism, Geddy teaches at the Academy of the Flaming Arts, where he teaches his pupils the techniques he used to kill Mohammed and other people, as well as other cool techniques with swords, fire, ice, and applesauce.
For some reason, when he formed a rock band with Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart, they decided to make Geddy the vocalist.
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[edit] Travels
Geddy Lee is best known for his nose. In 1857, he went exploring the far east in search of Xanadu, a lost city which was built by Kublai Khan when our weary world was young. Kublai Khan was defeated by Wrathof Khan when the struggle of the ancients first began and subsequently moved his empire to Las Vegas. Geddy, (or "Geddy Bear" as is his nickname), found the ancient ruins of Xanadu, expecting to find the sweet honey-dew that was the secret of immortality. He found it, but only added 5 minutes to his life and gave him a lot of gas. This was because Kublai Khan's refrigerator of immortality had been without power for thousands of years, and the honey-dew had gone sour. Fortunately his gas added extra low end to his bass sound enabling him to disguard his amps in exchange for washing machines.
Geddy Bear was later thrown into the future, where he brought rock and roll back to civilization and defeated the Solar Federation by merging with an electric guitar he had found behind a waterfall [1] and becoming a goliath Mecha. He defeated the horrible priests of the Temple of Syrinx and their Beatles.
[edit] Trivia
- Geddy Lee (being Jewish) was caught by Nazis in World War II and escaped. As a way of revenge, Geddy formed the band Rush to "deafen all Nazi followers and their children's children." He named the band Rush because it is the start of Russia, therefore linking his hate of Nazi and USSR regimes.
- Geddy Lee crushed his balls in a freak "accident" involving several dumb bells and a lesbian. That is the explantion for his insanely high voice.
- Geddy Lee would rather be a tortoise from Galapagos, or a span of geological time.
- Geddy Lee is currently workin' them angels overtime in a sweatshop in China.
- Geddy Lee has dined on honeydew and drank the milk of paradise.
- Geddy Lee has a dog named Fender.
- Geddy Lee plagiarized the radio with musical airwaves, which in fact DID NOT crackle with life, but rather with choice.
- Geddy Lee was widely recognized as a doomsday weapon when he sang after sucking helium out of a balloon. (The pitch is too high for humans to hear, of course, but over 367,000 Canadian dogs exploded nationwide during the government tests).
- Geddy Lee has been known to be a frequent visitor of Claymore Mine, Hachenmota, and Not Syrinx.
- Geddy Lee is not you.
- Geddy Lee has appeared in the comic strip Bloom County on numerous occasions.
- Anyone who shakes Geddy Lee's hand will die (eventually).
- Geddy Lee is known to randomly message people online, claiming to be Geddy Lee, while screaming "LOOK AT MY FACE!"
- Geddy Lee is also known to transform into his ultimate form, the Geddy Yeti, when angered.
- Geddy Lee moves pictures.
- Geddy Lee gives signals to owls that he is leaving on an airplane.
- Geddy Lee can fit into a clothes dryer, a feat he often performs during concerts.
- Geddy Lee is also responsible for the reestablishment of the USSR.
- Geddy Lee once forced five midgets to line dance in front of the Washington Monument to the tune of "Oh Shit, Here Comes Roger Waters."
- Geddy Lee once ate his own left foot, but it grew back.
- Geddy Lee is often called a working man. I guess that's what he is.
- Geddy Lee doesn't walk, he quantum leaps forward.
- Geddy Lee sees red. It hurts his head. He's got Mars on the horizon.
- Geddy Lee can hit the white note with his voice, causing unimaginable ejaculation.
- Geddy Lee is the only known human being to look and sing like a white woman, but play the bass guitar like a black man.
- Geddy Lee was also a great philosopher, seeing as he was the only person to figure out that you can't have freedom for free.
- Geddy Lee is the only member of Rush to have successfully inhaled a live chicken.
- Geddy Lee is the only man who knows how to do an "Acid Rain" dance
- Geddy Lee is the Supreme Leader of the Hallowed Empire of Syrinxia
- Geddy Lee was mayor of Tulsa for 12 seconds.
- Geddy Lee once watched the Discovery Channel for 21.12 consecutive hours.
- Geddy Lee always sits in Red Sector A at Blue Jays games.
- Geddy Lee was born on Bastille Day in Lakeside Park next to a Fountain of Lamneth. His father was a Necromancer and is quoted as exclaiming "I Think I'm Going Bald!" as Geddy's head emerged from the womb.
- Touching Geddy Lee's skin is like caressing steel.
- Geddy Lee is part four of a trilogy.
- Geddy Lee doesn't make like a tree and "leaf," he makes like a tree and forms a union and demands equal rights.
- Geddy Lee is capable of flight, but only does so at night, unless in Bangkok when he does so by morning light.
- Geddy Lee was a gangsta rapper for a brief period in 1992.
- Contradictory to popular belief Geddy Lee is sexy. VERY sexy.
- Geddy Lee's name came from his grandmother. His real name is Leddy Gee, but his grandmother had trouble pronouncing it: it always came out as Geddy Lee. So his parents simply renamed him.
- Geddy Lee is forced to pretend that strangers are long-awaited friends.
- Geddy Lee will one day inherit the world, but then realize it's a far cry from the world he thought he'd inherit.
- Geddy Lee's turds hit the water without a splash, but rather with a whimper.
- Geddy Lee's voice used to sound like Barry White's until one day his balls were crushed when Neil Peart's drumkit fell on top of him in a freak accident.
- Geddy Lee plays fast forward for as long as he can but he won't need a bed - he's a digital man.
- Geddy Lee can defeat the Beatles any day of the week with his pinky while singing "OF SALESMEN"
- Geddy Lee is the only man to have ever beaten Chuck Norris in a 'Melon Off.'
- Geddy Lee's uncle is a wealthy land owner whose passion is keeping Red Barchettas as new for 50 odd years. Yet he cannot drive it due to the Motor Law. Sadfaec.
- Geddy Lee does not need a bass amp; he plugs it into his belly button and amplifies it out of his mouth.
- Geddy Lee's bass is also known as "Cranathor, the Sun-Crusher" in some regions of the galaxy. Its signature sound comes from the damned souls trapped within. It also functions as a time machine, activated when Geddy plays the 2112 Overture.
- Geddy Lee once killed a man by playing the drum, guitar, synth, and bass parts to YYZ on his bass both backwards and forwards, opening a wormhole inside his brain to a dimension of pure evil, shattering his entire existence and causing his body to rip itself apart. This man...was Adolf Hitler.
- Geddy lee is apparently the anthem of the mind.
- Geddy lee's uncle once gave him a red Car, which he then chase some robots with, then crushed down into a microchip, inserted it into his left leg and wrote a song about his experience with said car/microchip.
- Geddy Lee once played every instrument in Rush at the same time. He only Got 2 more players to "Mix it up"
- Geddy Lee visits Lakeside Park on the 24th of May to see the fireworks display. He also visits on Bastille Day to drink from the Fountain of Lamneth with his friend the Necromancer, who is thinks he's going bald unfortunately.
- Geddy Lee lives in a place between the sun and moon that not too many know about.
- Geddy Lee realizes the spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow.
- Geddy Lee has come to slay the dragon, come to watch him fall.
[edit] Singing Powers
Geddy Lees' high pitched voice has had a profound effect on Mythical creatures of Ancient Greece, including that of Pan's lover, Syrinx. At a whim, it has been recorded that Lee can summon mythical animals by singing 92 cents above the highest E flat, the exact opposite on the grand scale as the Brown Noise.
GEDDY LEE OWNS ALL.
[edit] See Also
[edit] Notes
- ^ He never satisfactorily explained how he got the guitar out from behind the waterfall without ruining it.
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