Geek

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Geek alphabet

“Once I had this girlfriend...”

~ Random retard on what he wrote for his language project

“Mummy! Me want a calculator now! It the latest 12 digit one that can find the square root of pi in 34.6 miliseconds!”

~ Bill Gates as a baby on calculators and the square root of pi

“3.14159265358979323846264338”

~ Some weird nerd on remembering pi to 26 decimal places

“I'm gonna go listen to some Celine Dion.”

~ Some random geek on his favorite music

"Hey Albert, nyaagggghhhhhhh, turn on your modem so I can text you, nyagggghhhhyaggggghhhh."

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Geek.

Geek (Geekus xboxus) the nickname given by nerds to themselves if they want to look slightly higher up the social ladder. They will often argue incessantly that they are in fact a "geek," rather than a nerd, as you had called them about ten hours ago. Geeks, contrary to Popular Belief, did not evolve from nerds through ingesting a catalyst known as alky-hol which suppresses nerds' innate phobia of non-nerds, allowing the two groups to exchange information - most often verbal, but in rare cases can also be genetic. Some nerds retained this inhibition of non-nerd phobia even when the effects of alky-hol have worn off.

Geeks can be found living independently, often with other geeks, but also with nerds. Geeks can be found lying in filth in dark, dark rooms, hacking into chat sites pretending to be cool. Geek clothing is generally wrinkled, but acceptable in current society. Some geeks may even occasionally wear fashionable clothing or matching socks, but it can be rare. Another legend portrays the long lost geekdom as nerds with long hair, lots of earrings and heavy metal t-shirts (only prior to their metamorphosis into yuppies and migration into large financial institutions). The geeks have greasy hair and sweat all over the face; they call it "perfume". They spend hours trying to get onto porn websites that their mommies banned them from. Young geeks will often mutate into emos at 16, realizing they are misunderstood because they aren't allowed to drive cars.

Classic Geek Traits: Trying to emulate the Matrix doesn't result in "cool", it results in "60 year old virginity".

In most cases Geeks should be kept out of direct sunlight as the quartz windows of their specs may admit short-wavelength ultraviolet light, eventually erasing their memories. Geeks which are left in the sun for too long are thought to spontaneously decay into the element Geekium (Gk, atomic weight 80286.68208). But that's just a theory. It's been said that the Geekium is also a radioactive material, that emits Code Radiation, capable of destroying any code-based electronic machine...

It is believed that Geeks originally came from the country of Geese. However, Harlem Globetrotter Goose Tatum disputes this.

*snort* Nyeeghaaaaaagh.

While sharing similar names, Geeks have no relation to Greeks, who drink too much beer, live in single-sex housing, and participate in secret homoerotic rituals.

[edit] Geek evolution

Geeks evolved from the same being as nerds smartuis afatiestartrekes wich was a smart ape with an attraction to fantasy shows and novels along with a hi IQ. But these creatures split apart because the geeks seemed to get laid before the nerds so they split into three groups

1. the nerds(smart) 2. the geeks(fantasy) 3.Dorks(YOU)

Nerds seem more prone to math and getting beat up and numbers and censored porn while geeks are more into shows like star trek(because of the half naked aliens) and to animes like Neon Genesis Evangelion and any shows with half naked girls while dorks just are well the closest thing to a dork is Your mom or barack obama.

smartuis afatiestartrekes

Evolution of Geeks timetable

[edit] Female Geeks

A little-known subdivision of geeks, female geeks are known for their seeming lack of care about their personal appearance, lack of cosmetic skills, and general incompetence when dealing with their menstruation. The female geek is a truly rare occurrence as most females are offended by the internet, which exists purely as a repository for all porn in the known universe. Or it simply takes the joy out of speaking too much, by not being able to hear one's own voice when communicating...

To be noted is the fact that some male geeks simply deny the existence of female geeks. Such ideas may have been induced by male roleplayers that incidentally roleplayed females on a online game, upon discovering the true nature of the roleplayers they remain shocked and traumatized. When asked about the existence of female geeks traumatized male geek "Luca" screamed out as in pain and mumbling something walked into a nearby bumblebee.

Although most female geeks dont really care about their outside appearance. Some female geeks can still be extremely hot and attractive. They are still very into the gaming world similar to those classic geeks. For example, the hottest girl I know in real life is a diehard Hitman and Sims fan. Unfortunately, she is still a geek and by finding her attractive I acknowledge that I myself am also a geek. My name's Algernon, anyway. Algernon. Alger-freaking-non. What the hell was I going to be, a MOVIE star? Algernon. The only good thing that come from the name Algernon was Flowers for Algernon! I... fuck this.

[edit] Geek Breeds and Geek Breeding

The mythical, legendary Ubergeek

There are many different breeds of geek, such as: mathematics geeks, sci-fi geeks, computer geeks, history geeks, gamer geeks, music geeks, art geeks, Star Wars geeks (Warzies), Star Trek geeks (Trekkies), Red Dwarf geeks (Dwarfies), Godzilla geeks (Zillies), Doctor Who geeks (Whovians), dork geeks, evil geeks, porn geeks, retard geeks, comedy geeks, MySpace geeks (Girls and Cheerleaders), YouTube geeks, Uncyclopedia geeks, Wikipedia nerds, Internet geeks, Martial arts geeks, literature geeks, dancing geeks, acting geeks, magic geeks, occult geeks, movie geeks, Final Fantasy geeks (the main complaint of the final fantasy geek is "why are there so many games and fantasies I THOUGHT IT WAS FINAL FANTASY< goddammit, I keep having to buy these fantasies and games) there are literally geeks or nerds for every single skill in existence and many, many more, each breed is accustomed to it’s specialized subject, for example, an art geek is better at art then say, a history geek. A MySpace geek is better at MySpace then say, A Wikipedia geek. Geeks may breed to create a baby geek who can be accustomed to two subjects, such as an art and history combo geek, in this way it is possible to create an Ubergeek, by continuing to mix different breeds together until the ultimate geek is born. Many people have profited from this practice by creating geek breeding centers; you can also buy a litter of baby geeks for a certain price set by the breeder. It is worth noting that a new breed of geek is steadily on the increase, these are the Heroes geeks, they become particularly dangerous when metamorphosed into emos, when they will constantly try to kill themselves (using a rubber knife and safety scissors) and claim they have to save the world. You should be on the lookout for these as it is fucking hilarious when they try to learn how to fly.

An ugly, old Wikipedia geek

[edit] How to tell if you are a Geek

The language of the Geeks, commonly known as Gava, is spoken in many large webpages.

public gavaClass geek
{
  public int friends;
  public int geekFriendsRatio = 0;
     
     public void geek() {
        cool = false;
        hasaLife = false;
        geek = true;
        friends = geekFriendsRatio;
        System.out.println("Get A Life if you Understand!"); 
     }
}

Geeks playing D&D

[edit] Alternate methods

Other tests to detect geekness are detailed below.

Test 1 - 1f l_l c@n r34d 7h15 j00 4r3 4 933k.
Test 2 - If the following 1's and 0's meant more to you than just..1's and 0's...you might be a geek:

0110011101100101011001010110101100100000011101010010000001100001011100100110010100100001

Test 3 - You are bothered by the misuse of the word "emulate."

Most certainly.

Test 4 - You know what the T means in James T. Kirk.
Test 5 - You know how to play Magic.
Test 6 - You know what Magic is.
Test 7 - You've heard of Magic.
Test 8 - You reprogrammed your computer's clock to show the star date rather than the normal time.
Test 9 - You've made a fully functioning light-saber out of parts from your basement
Test 10 - You have made love $s i n (p i)$ times in your life (No, it doesn't have to be in radians).
Test 11 - You have made love $s e c (p i / 2)$ in your life.
Test 12 - You got the gag of test 11.
Test 13 - Stargate is your religion
Test 14 - Your car's windows are made of trash bags or some wrap and requires a pushing start.
Test 15 - You were never cool in your life, you rather opted to buy it.
Test 16 - You've never made postings on uncyclopedia.
Test 17 - You still live with your mom.
Test 18 - You collect your secret crush's stray hair.
Test 19 - You take your 12-year old sister to your high school prom.
Test 21 - You remember Lando for more than being the only black man in Star Wars.
Test 20 - You believe Lando was essential to the plot of Star Wars.
Test 21 - 11001010011010100101010101011010101010102. If you find something that doesn't belong there, you're a geek.
Test 22 - You don't play pokémon
Test 23 - You double date with your 40 year old sister with no date.
Test 24 - The song Happy Days is your favorite theme song.
Test 25 - You rather be on your computer than go out with the hottest girl/boy in school.
Test 26 - You dream of being AV kid, or are the AV kid.
Test 27 - You noticed that there are two test 21s.*
Test 28 - You went back and double-checked

A big fat geek

Test 29 - You have memorized at least most of the entire history of the Star Wars galaxy, starting with the formation of the old republic, you additionally understand the concept of the sith, not as an ideal - but originally a unique species of their own
Test 30 - You play World of Warcraft
Test 31 - You actually like World of Warcraft
Test 32 - You have long arguments about World of Warcraft vs. Guild Wars
Test 33 - You score high on this quiz
Test 34 - You play on Runescape all day
Test 35 - You've shown up to a Star Wars premire dressed up like Luke Skywalker
Test 36 - You think Sci-Fi is cool
Test 37 - You still live with your mum
Test 38 - You will scientifically prove all of these
Test 39 - I did.
Test 40 - You dream to have ~~sex with~~ a Black Lotus card
Test 41 - You actually do your school homeworks
Test 42 - You not only do YOUR school homeworks as you also do the entire class students homeworks
Test 43 - Your parents don't know you exist
Test 44 - You're reading this while you're downloading the latest version of World of Warcraft
Test 45 - Your only friend is a slinky
Test 46 - Your inspirational film is "Pirates of Silicon Valley"
Test 47 - Your goal is to own more than five character with level 80 on World of Warcraft
Test 48 - You spend days arguing with Tibia players concerning how better WoW is than Tibia
Test 49 - You speak English, Latin, Andorian, Bajoran, Borg, Cardassian, Ferengi, Klingon, Romulan, Trill, Vulcan, FORTRAN, C++, Pascal, BASIC, C, C# COBOL, Ada, 133t, Perl, XML, Markub, MATLAB, PHP, Java
Test 50 - You invite the hottest girl in the school to play WoW in your house and check your Star Trek special uncut episodes DVDs
Test 51 - You are trying to solve P VS NP
Test 52 - You are trying to install Linux on your microwave
Test 53 - You sing the quadratic formula to the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel"
Test 54 - When editing papers, you put // before comments
Test 55 - You understand why infinity minus infinity is undefined
Test 56 - You whistle at girls with the Beep function from the #include<windows.h> library
Test 57 - You know who P.J. Plauger is
Test 58 - You think Bill Gates should have been the next president elect
Test 59 - you ar currently on uncyclopedia researching geeks
Test 60 - You know what [1] acctualy does
Test 62 - You noticed there is no test 61
Test 61 - You took the bite out of the potate and noticed that potate is spellet rong
Test 62 - You dont play a sport
Test 63 - You have never played a sport
Test 64 - You can't name a sport
Test 65 - Sport?
Test 66 - You keep taking the same IQ-test untill you score above 130
Test 67 - You wish Twi'leks existed In Real Life
Test 68 - You realize that there is no Real Life, there is only Away From Keyboard
Test 69 - You can't help but consider this test an innuendo
Test 70 - You spend most of your income (a.k.a allowance) on comicbooks
Test 71 - You are currently wondering which points you will add to this list
Test 72 - Your screen name is named after your favourite comicbook character, only with three identical digits after
Test 73 - You edit Wikipedia
Test 74 - You still live with your mom.
Test 75 - You noticed that Test 74 was a copy of Test 17.
Test 76 - You rarely fuck, but only masturbate
Test 77 - You understand l33t sp33k1ng$
Test 78 - You rarely have sex because your mom annoys you and overprotects you
Test 79 - You dream of flying into bloody rages and killing lots of people who hate you
Test 80 - You're an artistic genius
Test 81 - You're depressed
Test 82 - You are on uncyclopedia
Test 83 - You're editing uncyclopedia
Test 84 - You think this is funny and laugh to yourself
Test 85 - You tried to hack www.ninjasecretsrevealed.com and actually stole their ebook (it's in the IMG section)
Test 86 - You are stressed out over what to write next
Test 87 - You built an iron man and a machine that enables flight but don't bother to show it to the world because no one cares
Test 88 - You dream of sex and just might get it one day.
Test 89 - You have an anxiety disorder
Test 90 - You're unemotional looking
Test 91 - You never really get fat
Test 92 - You believe in the future that your time will come and those who wronged you now will be punished
Test 93 - You wait for the aforesaid time in Test 92
Test 94 - You are engaged in Ascii art
Test 95 - You wonder if life will just get more miserable and your time will never come and others will unfairly experience their peak
Test 96 - You believe that nerds and geeks are built for handling stressful situations and bad times like being sick or old, but not when your body is strong or when you're normal or times are normal
Test 97 - Your parents are too involved in your life and piss you off to a great deal
Test 98 - You persecute others for being geeks
Test 99 - Even though you're smart you're lazy because of your parents pissing you off and you do badly in school
Test 100 - You have self-pity but take pleasure in the small things of life.
Test 101- you like licking windows and wiping your ass on peoples towels for a laugh
Test 102 - you keep adding points even though it has already reached 100
Test 103 - If you can read this, you´re a geek
Test 104 - You realized that numbers 101 and 102 aren't properly capitalized or punctuated.
Test 105 - You have read every single of these tests
Test 106 - ...Twice

Note this test is not meant to be taken qualitatively or quantitatively. It's not like getting over 50 than you're a geek. It's more like if you get one right then you're a geek, the reason for having 100 of them was to ensure that you were diagnosed as a geek.

Which you are right?

Yes you, I'm pointing at you, the fat one.

You're a geek.

No JK, funny phenomenon is that geeks, at least true geeks that is, are never fat. Otherwise they're not geeks and become miserable in later life and are extroverted in their teens.

While geeks are miserable in their teens but become happier and extroverted in later life, all the way for sure until death, geeks always have the last laugh just as the meek will inherit the earth, or the jews, it's how it works.

[edit] Geek Jokes

Creepy, middle aged geek, still lives with his mother.

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and the others who don't give a damn.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand gray code, those who understand binary and the other who don't give a damn.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who get laid.
When someone want to borrow some cash from a geek, the geek answers: "Go farming n00b"
Me is considered a geek. Hah, yeah right! But wait, aww damn.

A Geek hiding his shame.

[edit] Geek Squad

The geek squad is a team of virus fighters that work for Best Buy. They come to your house to install your computer, ask many idiotic questions (Like do you date emos or fat people), eat your food, and then charge you 900 bucks. The Geek Squad consists of 25 men. It's a exclusive club, only the best qualify. To qualify, you must live with your parents, be over the age of 15, virgin, and most importantly, be ranked in the top .02% of everyone on Counter Strike.

[edit] Geek Inc.

The geek Inc. (formerly 3rd Nerd until they realized they were geeks, not nerds) is a team of virus fighters, JAVA programmers, and .gif makers that work for an evil dictator. They fix your computer, for free, from the comfort of there house, and then charge you nothing. Geek Inc. consists of 4.5 men. It's a exclusive club, only the best qualify. To qualify, you must be at least 14, live with your parents, be under the age of 30, virgin, and most importantly, know JAVA (having an IQ of 3,000 can also qualify you).

[edit] External links

[edit] See also

v • d • e

Fundamental Stereotypes

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Geek

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Contents

[edit] Geek evolution

[edit] Female Geeks

[edit] Geek Breeds and Geek Breeding

[edit] How to tell if you are a Geek

[edit] Alternate methods

[edit] Geek Jokes

[edit] Geek Squad

[edit] Geek Inc.

[edit] External links

[edit] See also

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