“Mason S. is one...”
“Once I had this girlfriend...”
“Mummy! Me want a calculator now! It the latest 12 digit one that can find the square root of pi in 34.6 milliseconds!”
“I'm gonna go listen to some Celine Dion.”
“So, I was sat outside f caves, right, potting up to range Jad, and restoring pray, so I go thru his slave monsters w/ d bolts then switch to r bolts for Jad, but when I killed his healers jad kept healing and hitting thru my blk dide and neit helm evn tho I used pray.”
|Random UFO Sighting|
In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.
Prepare for probing.
Geek (Geekus xboxus) the nickname given by nerds to themselves if they want to look slightly higher up the social ladder. They will often argue incessantly that they are in fact a "geek," rather than a nerd, as you had called them about ten hours ago. Geeks, contrary to Popular Belief, did not evolve from nerds through ingesting a catalyst known as alky-hol which suppresses nerds' innate phobia of non-nerds, allowing the two groups to exchange information - most often verbal, but in rare cases can also be genetic. Some nerds retained this inhibition of non-nerd phobia even when the effects of alky-hol have worn off.
Geeks can be found living independently, often with other geeks, but also with nerds. Geeks can be found lying in filth in dark, dark rooms, hacking into chat sites pretending to be cool. Geek clothing is generally wrinkled, but acceptable in current society. Some geeks may even occasionally wear fashionable clothing or matching socks, but it can be rare. Another legend portrays the long lost geekdom as nerds with long hair, lots of earrings and heavy metal t-shirts (only prior to their metamorphosis into yuppies and migration into large financial institutions). The geeks have greasy hair and sweat all over the face; they call it "perfume". They spend hours trying to get onto porn websites that their mommies banned them from. Young geeks will often mutate into emos at 16, realizing they are misunderstood because they aren't allowed to drive cars.
In most cases Geeks should be kept out of direct sunlight as the quartz windows of their specs may admit short-wavelength ultraviolet light, eventually erasing their memories. Geeks which are left in the sun for too long are thought to spontaneously decay into the element Geekium (Gk, atomic weight 80286.68208). But that's just a theory. It's been said that the Geekium is also a radioactive material, that emits Code Radiation, capable of destroying any code-based electronic machine...
It is believed that Geeks originally came from the country of Geese. However, Harlem Globetrotter Goose Tatum disputes this.
Geeks evolved from the same being as nerds smartuis afatiestartrekes wich was a smart ape with an attraction to fantasy shows and novels along with a high IQ. But these creatures split apart because the geeks seemed to get laid before the nerds so they split into three groups
1. the nerds(smart) 2. the geeks(fantasy) 3.Dorks(YOU) 4. the techs (those believed to solve IT related problems)
Nerds seem more prone to math and getting beat up and numbers and censored porn while geeks are more into shows like star trek(because of the half naked aliens) and to animes like Neon Genesis Evangelion and any shows with half naked girls while dorks just are well the closest thing to a dork is Your mom or barack obama.
In recent years an unusual outgrowth of the geek has evolved, that of the action geek. These are often men who engage in full contact lightsaber fights or women who dress up as Slave Leia at geek gatherings. See: Mythbusters
A little-known subdivision of geeks, female geeks are known for their seeming lack of care about their personal appearance, lack of cosmetic skills, and general incompetence when dealing with their menstruation. The female geek is a truly rare occurrence as most females are offended by the internet, which exists purely as a repository for all porn in the known universe. Or it simply takes the joy out of speaking too much, by not being able to hear one's own voice when communicating...
To be noted is the fact that some male geeks simply deny the existence of female geeks. Such ideas may have been induced by male roleplayers that incidentally roleplayed females on a online game, upon discovering the true nature of the roleplayers they remain shocked and traumatized. When asked about the existence of female geeks traumatized male geek "Luca" screamed out as in pain and mumbling something walked into a nearby bumblebee.
Although most female geeks don't really care about their outside appearance. Some female geeks can still be extremely hot and attractive. They are still very into the gaming world similar to those classic geeks. For example, the hottest girl I know in real life is a diehard Hitman and Sims fan. Unfortunately, she is still a geek and by finding her attractive I acknowledge that I myself am also a geek. My name's Algernon, anyway. Algernon. Alger-freaking-non. What the hell was I going to be, a MOVIE star? Algernon. The only good thing that come from the name Algernon was Flowers for Algernon! I... fuck this.
Geek Breeds and Geek Breeding
There are many different breeds of geek, such as: mathematics geeks, sci-fi geeks, computer geeks, history geeks, gamer geeks, music geeks, art geeks, Star Wars geeks (Warzies), Star Trek geeks (Trekkies), Red Dwarf geeks (Dwarfies), Godzilla geeks (Zillies), Doctor Who geeks (Whovians), dork geeks, evil geeks, porn geeks, retard geeks, comedy geeks, MySpace geeks (Girls and Cheerleaders), Facebook geeks (the underground hyper-socialites with extremely low attention span), Twitter geeks, YouTube geeks, Uncyclopedia geeks, Wikipedia nerds, Internet geeks, Martial arts geeks, literature geeks, dancing geeks, acting geeks, magic geeks, occult geeks, movie geeks, Final Fantasy geeks (the main complaint of the final fantasy geek is "why are there so many games and fantasies I THOUGHT IT WAS FINAL FANTASY< goddammit, I keep having to buy these fantasies and games) there are literally geeks or nerds for every single skill in existence and many, many more, each breed is accustomed to it’s specialized subject, for example, an art geek is better at art then say, a history geek. A MySpace geek is better at MySpace then say, A Wikipedia geek. Geeks may breed to create a baby geek who can be accustomed to two subjects, such as an art and history combo geek, in this way it is possible to create an Ubergeek, by continuing to mix different breeds together until the ultimate geek is born. Many people have profited from this practice by creating geek breeding centers; you can also buy a litter of baby geeks for a certain price set by the breeder. It is worth noting that a new breed of geek is steadily on the increase, these are the Heroes geeks, they become particularly dangerous when metamorphosed into emos, when they will constantly try to kill themselves (using a rubber knife and safety scissors) and claim they have to save the world. You should be on the lookout for these as it is fucking hilarious when they try to learn how to fly.
How to tell if you are a Geek
The language of the Geeks, commonly known as Java, is spoken in many large webpages.
Other tests to detect geekness are detailed below.
- Test -1 - you have abunch of war games but not one single little kid game, sports game, or anything that doesn't invovle guns or violence ex,(WALL-E,Madden 2010,or DanceDanceRevolution)
- Test 2 - 1f l_l [email protected] r34d 7h15 j00 4r3 4 933k.
- Test 3 - If the following 1's and 0's meant more to you than just..1's and 0's...you might be a geek:
- Test 4 - You are bothered by the misuse of the word "emulate."
- Test 5 - You know what the T means in James T. Kirk.
- Test 6 - You know how to play Magic.
- Test 7 - You know what Magic is.
- Test 8 - You've heard of Magic.
- Test 9 - You reprogrammed your computer's clock to show the star date rather than the normal time.
- Test 10 - You've made a fully functioning light-saber out of parts from your basement
- Test 11 - You have made love times in your life (No, it doesn't have to be in radians).
- Test 12 - You have made love in your life.
- Test 13 - You got the gag of test 11.
- Test 14 - Stargate is your religion
- Test 15 - Your car's windows are made of trash bags or some wrap and requires a pushing start.
- Test 16 - You were never cool in your life, you rather opted to buy it.
- Test 17 - You've never made postings on uncyclopedia.
- Test 18 - You respect C-3PO like a God.
- Test 19 - You collect your secret crush's stray hair.
- Test 20 - You take your 12-year old sister to your high school prom.
- Test 21 - You remember Lando for more than being the only black man in Star Wars The Original Trilogy.
- Test 22 - You believe Lando was essential to the plot of Star Wars.
- Test 23 - 11001010011010100101010101011010101010102. If you find something that doesn't belong there, you're a geek.
- Test 24 - You play WoW
- Test 25 - You double date with your 40 year old sister with no date.
- Test 26 - The song Happy Days is your favorite theme song.
- Test 27 - You rather be on your computer than go out with the hottest girl/boy in school.
- Test 28 - You dream of being AV kid, or are the AV kid.
- Test 29 - You are trying to deny your inner geek by checking if you apply to these tests.
- Test 30 - You spend more than 8 hours a day on a computer daily.
Note this test is not meant to be taken qualitatively or quantitatively. It's not like getting over 50 than you're a geek. It's more like if you get one right then you're a geek, the reason for having 140 and infinity of them was to ensure that you were diagnosed as a geek or a Russian Spy.
Which you are right?
Yes you, I'm pointing at you, the fat one.
You're a geek.
No JK, funny phenomenon is that geeks, at least true geeks that is, are never fat. Otherwise they're not geeks and become miserable in later life and are extroverted in their teens.
While geeks are miserable in their teens but become happier and extroverted in later life, all the way for sure until death, geeks always have the last laugh just as the meek will inherit the earth, or the Jews, it's how it works.
- There are 2 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't give a damn.
- There are10 types of people in the world: those who understand Binary and those who don't.
- There are 3 types of people in the world, those who understand gray code, those who understand binary and those who don't give a damn.
- There are 2 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who get laid.
- When someone want to borrow some cash from a geek, the geek answers: "Go farming n00b"
- Me is considered a geek. Hah, yeah right! But wait, aww damn.
The geek squad is a team of virus fighters that work for Best Buy. They come to your house to install your computer, ask many idiotic questions (Like do you date emos or fat people), eat your food, and then charge you 900 bucks. The Geek Squad consists of 25 men. It's a exclusive club, only the best qualify. To qualify, you must live with your parents, be over the age of 15, virgin, and most importantly, be ranked in the top .02% of everyone on Counter Strike.
The geek Inc. (formerly 3rd Nerd until they realized they were geeks, not nerds) is a team of virus fighters, JAVA programmers, and .gif makers that work for an evil dictator. They fix your computer, for free, from the comfort of there house, and then charge you nothing. Geek Inc. consists of 4.5 men. It's a exclusive club, only the best qualify. To qualify, you must be at least 14, live with your parents, be under the age of 30, virgin, and most importantly, know JAVA (having an IQ of 3,000 can also qualify you).
- Geek Pick Up Lines
- Typical Geek-ish blog
- tyical Greek cuisine
- Geek quiz
- Geek quiz no.2 (in fact, it's a nerd test)
- Clip-on tie
- World of Warcraft
- Dungeons and Dragons
- Bill Gates
- Steve Jobs
- Purple nurples
- HowTo:Pick up chicks
- Sam DiSanto