General Electric

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General Electric in 1863

General Electric, the first electrically powered general, was constructed in Chicago in 1859 by Cyrus McCormick in order to stop the mechanical raper he made years prior which was violating an assaulting women in brothels on a nightly basis. General electric was the first of his kind, he was the first general to not be powered by either steam or be a wind up toy. He was constructed completely of cast iron (except for his beard which was aluminum) and could generally run faster than a black man and a steam engine put together. He was a great asset during the civil war. The troops called him the general more powerful than Batman, Super man, Spider man Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, and Jesus all put together or more powerful than alota shit put together for short. He was the one that defeated Geronimo, Slavery and the Dukes of Hazard who, after having put a flux capacitor on the General Lee attempted to send automatic weapons to the confederates back in 1863.

Early Life[edit]

General Electric after having his exoskin burnt off during battle.

Made in 1859 General Electric was the prototype of a successful line of electric powered generals, but being so, he had many flaws, such as; he could not expel oil strait while standing up, he did not meet energy star requirements and he rusted when wet. Another major flaw was was his operating system, he had been shipped with Windows Vista, because of this he had experienced the blue screen of death, sometimes while in combat, and he accumulated many viruses which slowed his cognitive comprehension, this OS was also incompatible with General Electric's built in targeting hardware, thus seriously hindering his fighting skills. Noticing this, his creator installed linux, which solved many of the software problems that afflicted General Electric, unfortunately many pieces of software were now unavailable to General electric like the very capable Windows Defender.

With Linux installed on General Electric, he went on