General Population

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General Albert Horatio Population was one of the greatest strategists the world has seen, surpassed only by Britney Spears.

Albert Population: The Early Years[edit]

Population was born in 1894 in the small town of Hampshire, Norway.

He was brought up by his mother Susanna Population and his father Major Edgar Population, although there is some doubt as to Edgar being the biological father of Albert. Susanna was a lady of leisure and her husband Major Edgar Population was an officer of the British Colonist Army.

Albert was brought up on a strict diet of carrots and new potatoes that consequently attributed to his growth stunt during 1900s. He read many great works including most of Oscar Wilde and Jacob Rocher. He also was an avid follower of stratagies conceived by the likes of Henry V, Napolean and Simon Polands.

Edgar signed his son up to train as an officer of the British Army in 1904. There was some problems with him joining due to his unnaturally small stature- however it is believed that Major Edgar called in some favours in order his son be excepted.

The first 4 years of basic officer training were uncomfortable for Albert as he was ridiculed on a daily basis by his peers with one exception- Edward Bowler.

Edward Bowler become a close friend to Albert and their friendship continued to flourish until 1914 when Edward was called out to fight on the african front and Albert was called out to fight in the infamous western front.

Albert Population: The Active Duty Years[edit]

1914 Population was called out to fight on the western front.

January 1915 Population received news of Edward Bowler- he had passed away from a viral infection he had caught from a jungle patrol on the Congo front. This seemingly destroyed a major part of Population:

"he had just lost him closest friend and this caused hime to lose all hold over the hell he was experiencing"
--From the Autobiography of Albert Population, "Rise and Fall of General Population"

For some weeks Population was crazed- He went over the top more times than any of the men in his unit. This show of "Bravery" was noticed by his superiors and they quickly promoted him. Population started off well on stratagy continuing to make the right choice in every attack he helped plan.


General Population executing on of the German's tactitions, General Facts


By autumn 1915, the start of the Somme, Population was stratagy advisor to Haig.

However, no matter how well Population was doing, he was to be treated with another death. He organised the execution of the prelimery bombardment on 24th June, 1915. Much to his sorrow, the bombardment misfired and his father, Major Population, was killed in the shelling. The Autobiography refers to the 24th June, 1915 as the "Decline of General Population"- this name covers the exact outcome of this bad planning.

He was demoted after accidently killing Major Population but this did not stop his love of stratagy- he continued to help advise on smaller attacks including the victory behind the Christmas Football League.

Albert Population: His True Love[edit]

At the end of the Great War of Somme, Albert went on leave for 6 months. He embarked on a journy to London in which he met his future wife- Paris Jardin.

At this point his life turned around for the better- He had found his true love. His autobiography refers to this occurance as "The Rise in General Population".

He married Paris but was soon called away again to fight on the United Front in 1922.

Albert Population: His genius and his fall[edit]

Slowly Alberts stratagy genius was respected again and he went up the ranks.

by 1927, towards the end of the war in Hungary, he had earned the most coveted title of General after many successful plans had been executed and he had single handedly swung the victory points to the United Forces.

By 1939 he was respected around the globe as the leading stratagist. He was first choice to help rescue The European Union when Germany broke treaties invaded poland.

However General Population's mind of stratagy came to blows with the overactive genius of General Po-Sung-Tu- in the Great Air Battle of Sudan, General population made one mistake- he dropped a chemical weapon on Po-Sung-Tu's camps. Po-Sung-Tu had heard intel of this happening and move many of his forces up-wind of the chemical weapon drop-zones. General Population had not expected the chemical blast to be swept over his own forces. General Population was killed by Chemical Weapons.