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To be confused with randomness.
“I've got nothing to declare but my genius.
Oh, and, uh, some oranges. They were a gift. I'm not smuggling them, honest.”
~ Mark Twain on Humility
Steve Ballmer invented Oscar Wildeisms in 1 AD. The most amazing part of this, though, is that it eventually led the way to The United States finally becoming an Oligarchy, and GODDAMN was it about time, that took FOREVER.
After this was accomplished, it was criticized greatly by Congress who used the argument "Look, we all make mistakes, but you OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT! points to the left causing everyone to look and quickly runs in the opposite direction.." However, the argument was quickly countered with the rebuttal "Yeah well I'm rubber and your glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." The debate raged on for over 10,000,000 years before finally being settled when Vin Diesel ate all who opposed.
A lot of people were kinda peeved about this, but they couldn't really get that angry about it. I mean whatcha gonna do, right? Some guy eats your family, hey, past is past. Everyone grieved for an appropriate amount of time and then moved on with their lives, secure in the knowledge that everyone who disagreed with them was dead..
By that time, the crackers had become seriously offended by the obvious racial implications. In a protest, they stormed A Michael Jackson concert. It was covered on FOX News, known for its extremely liberal viewpoints. The anchor for that night, Shepherd Smith filling in for Dan Rather, had this to say about the incident:
“What do we want? *pause for response* When do we want it? *pause for response* Why is no one responding to my questions for OH, FUCK, right, a crowd. Need a crowd first.”
~ Shepherd Smith on Protestors
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The entire event was covered most spectacularly by liberal blogger Freedom Bible America Man. FBA Man wrote on his blog "Holy shit, did you guys see what Shepherd Smith did today? Dudes, I'll get a link if I can it was fucking awesome. The event is already being covered by eighteen other blogs, which I will now link to all of. This is the final straw that will cause the liberal left (wait, or is it right? I can never remember these) to crumble. Mood: Jesusy. Music: My mom yelling for dinner.
Roald Dahl used the event as inspiration for his famous 10,000,000-line poem, In Da Closet. The work went on to great acclaim and is now taught in almost every 9th grade English class in the Nation, instilling a deep hatred in every student of not only literature, but also politics. In a government that requires total ignorance of the citizens to function unimpeded, this is hailed as a great achievement. In fact, Senator Prince illustrated this concept best when he served Sen. Pelosi old school live on C-SPAN. No one dared question the deadly Kung-Fu trained Senator, but the guilt got to him and he apologized.
EUROIPODS!
