Generic Theory of Probably Something
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The Generic Theory of Probably Something states that something happens to something else or whatever. It was probably invented by John Cusack at some point in time. It was later adopted into Edgar Allen Poe's famous law, Yeah, That's The Ticket and published in Cosmopolitan Magazine. (This later spawned the famous Click It Or Ticket laws in 73 states.) Today, the theory explains absolutely nothing and is hailed as one of the biggest scientologific discoveries of all time.
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[edit] Generic vs. Specific
The Generic Theory of Probably Something (GTPS) is generic, not specific. It is generic because of an unstable quark in the oxymoron ion which cannot bind with carbuncles (a related isotope of carbon).
See also Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle.
[edit] Theory vs. Hypothesis
The GTPS became a theory in 1986 when Ronald Reagan confirmed its validity in the Iran-Contra hearings. The reasoning behind this is tortuously complex and expensive but in moron's terms, well, you wouldn't understand it because you are a Bush-bashing liberal who hates freedom.
[edit] Probably vs. Possibly
It is possible that we'll never know why, but it's probably because the probabilities favored its possibility. In a Gallup survey, 26% of Americans said it is very probably possible, 23% said it is probably possible, 24% said it is possibly probable and 25% said it is possibly improbable but probably not impossible. The remaining 2% said they probably didn't know. Margin of error ±27.5%.
[edit] Something vs. Various Alternatives
[edit] Something vs. Nothing
The economic utility of a theory about nothing was not realised until 1989, when Jerry Seinfeld published his findings in American Journal Of Guinea Pig Sciences. The GTPS was conceived long before that. Not that there's anything wrong with Seinfeld's so-called theory.
[edit] Something vs. Anything
This is only a problem because of our limited Western paradigms. In Eastern thought, there is no dualism, no dichotomy between GTPS and GTPA.
See also Dialects of Romania.
[edit] Something vs. Everything
There's already a law for everything, so this theory could not be about everything. But it had to be about something.
