George

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Although a George, you should not confuse this George, with George.

In 2008, a new sex is created thanks to the study of several young biologists and we give the name George to it. A George is neither a male or female nor have any of the human sex organs. Georges are usually fat, ugly, lazy and stupid (George W.Bush), this type of human being is usually a result of failed abortion. Nobody wants to be labeled as a George, not even Georges themselves In the 2008 world census, there are only 10 Georges existing in each country, it is still a very rare gender today.


And some may say he is not a kid at all. They call him pig, for he is in fact, many. Who gave birth to George? We may never know, but according to an unnamed source, it was Chuck Norris. Chuck raised George, breast-feeding him until he was 35 and doing his homework for him except for mathematics, which George was surprisingly good at. However, this peaceful picture of disgusting domesticity was soon to end. (Thank God.) When George reached the age of 36, he bit the hand that fed him. As a result of this supposedly metaphorical violence, Chuck Norris was devoured completely. Almost instantly after George devoured Chuck, he hired Papa Smurf, who continued to do George's homework except for mathematics, which he still continues to this day to do himself. Papa Smurf refused to do any other tasks and George became totally independent over a period of 2000 years. George has traced his roots back to the great secret Norwegian empire during the Second World War; this is besides the point as George has gone on to qualify as a time lord and spends his spare time saving the world. He is now getting all his homework done, and continues to be faithful to his new found mother, Papa Smurf.

The Chinese George Kid[edit]

And some may say he is just some random Chinese kid from Jacksonville, Florida. He used to like attacking teachers, but this curious behaviour changed as he became a teacher himself, a teacher of Philosophy to be exact. Now he is frequently attacked by someone from Cabbageham, called a Rard - a member of a rivalling tribe. There is also a thing called Jezn, a highly intelligent tribal lifeform - who frequently tries to make him die.

Battles In The Gorge[edit]

In the North, there have been many battles fought over a Snickers bar, but none so vile as the George encounters. There are days to remember those who fought in the Battles against George, such as Remember-Dead-Eaten-By-George Day (Rememberance Day in whatever country supports George). Another battle involving George was the Battle of the Bulge when George gained so much weight he couldn't get his fat arse up to lose any weight. A serious band was then made by everyone's favorite fatty , and that band was the Pussy Cat Dolls.


George joins Silverchair[edit]

In 2007 in a desperate bid to win 5 arias, Silverchair recruited the George. George has a surprising foot fetish and this became apparent in many of Silverchair's new lyrics. Here is an excerpt from the song "I Love Your Feet Walkin' In A Straight Line"

Im wakin up George in the mooooorniiiiing! Feeding him his toe jam! Wakin up George in the eveniiiiiing! He loves feet in a straight liiine!

The song was an instant hit, reaching number 1 on the Guantanamo Bay prison radio request list. David Hicks was quoted as saying "George has renewed my interest for walking bare-foot".

In 2008, it became apparent that Daniel Johns was no longer needed in the band and he was kicked out. Then with him, he took the other two guys, Ben Gillies and Chris Jouanno. So, Silverchair now comprises of just George, so he decided to change the name to Iced Earth. Iced Earth released a new album "Sunning the Fans of Feet" in September 2008, featuring such classics as: "I Saw Those Feet and Blew" "Toe Jam City Limits" "Sock Surprise"

Iced Earth recruited several new drummers, poaching most of them from Slipknot. After a while, Iced Earth realised that drummers and a singer was no fun. They recruited Jamie Oliver as the band chef and he blah blah blah naked blah something or other. And then Darth Vader ate his pants.

George in Franchise Chains[edit]

George has starred in many ads and worked in many stores. He is the proud inventor and promoter (or devourer) of the following items of clothing:

  • McDonalds - The Fatty McFat Fat Burger
  • Hungry Jacks - He invented Jack and he was hungry and ate him.
  • Burger King - He is the king.
  • Libra - He uses them to stop himself from salvitating.
  • Harris Scarfe - He ate Harris.
  • The Fish And Chip Shop - Fatty McFillet
  • 1 Stop Kebabs - Deep Fried Kebab on a Lobster-Stick

A Timeline of George[edit]

-89 BC - George Spawned.

This is also a George, but unlike the real George, this is not George. Most know him as Georgy, the son of Fortinbras.

500 BC - George finds Pompeii.

499.9 BC - Pompeii is no longer.

452 BC - George starts religion.

400 BC - George eats Greek Easter, renaming it Christmas (also known as Halloween)

394 BC - Greek Easter resurfaces in George's shit

392 BC - Greek Easter reinstated

300 BC - George starts Battle of the Bulge with his accompanying people stuck to him.

240 BC - George is stuck in the Incredible Sam's orbit. Luckily she combusts and George is once again the biggest Earth on Earth.

0 - Pants is exhumed

540 - George fights against and destroys Obi Wan Kenobi.

1987 - The stolen generation begins. George eats aboriginal children.

1991 - Somebody is born. George gets jealous and eats them.

1992 - The biggest, fattest, ugliest George was born and he ate over 1/2 the worlds population.

1993 - Kirstie Alley gets fat. George is jealous and eats (part of) her. She praises Weight Watchers for the 97% reduction of weight but little did she know, it was George. He would've eaten her whole, but he couldn't stomach the rest.

2000 - In a New Years eve party, George comes across an all-you-can-eat buffet. He likes the look of the doughnut sandwich (doughnut + lard + doughnut).

2006-Now - George is still eating the buffet. George also finds pleasure in cross dressing at school, using toilet paper for tits and wearing lipstick.

2010- George has now attended acting school and has a promising career ahead of him as a cross dresser. His official title is Actor/Actress.

2070 - George creates poo. Poo is used for several things such as a substitute for no-nails, brown paint and solid salt until it was found to contain actual human excrements.