George Clooney

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George Clooney (Alias Tantoota the Scourge) is Batman. He first took his role in 1864 and has kept until this very day. He watches the night. You might know him by his other name. Ben Dover. Notably, he was not born on June 31, 1986. he was born after 16436834683=54778=6235679 of the 17th age.

Clooney's mugshot after he was arrested for huffing aborted fetuses.

Contents

[edit] Childhood

George was born Jorge "Con El Dinero Baila El Perro" River in San Frisco with the help of Environmentally Friendly Tater Tots in the St. Abbo Hospital to proud parents John Travolta III and David Duchovny. He attended the Archibald Leach School of Literature until he was 4 and he ran for the election as president of Bolivia and won. He was fiercely criticized . This had a major impact on his acting later on.

[edit] Education

George graduated high school at age 12 and went straight to college. In high school he graduated at the top of his class regardless of the fact that his class was made up of inbreds and rescued prom night dumpster babies. he got accepted into UTPUD (University for Those Poor and Underprivileged Dumb-asses) because no other college would accept an illegal alien. He dropped out of UTPUD after two years and became a gay rights activist. He was invited to speak at many gay orgies and it is rumored for him to have even spoke at a orgy thrown by Ellen Degenerate (not to be confused with the talk show host who also finds pleasure in scissoring) and Rosie O'Donnell. After realizing his true dream of becoming a terrible actor, clooney decided to enroll in UTPUD sister school UTPUAD (University for Those Poor and Underprivaliged, Acting Dumbasses). He befriended a professor there by the name of Tom Cruise and began making frequent visits to the Church of Scientology. Tom landed George a date with his now trophey wife Talia Balsam.

[edit] Reported sex scandal with Fabio

On July 27th 2003, George Clooney and Fabio Reportedly met in a high class restaraunt in Beverly Hills. The 2 Men had lunch together, played that game "Who-Would-You-Do?". (A game which was useless because the men had already had sexual intercourse with every girl past the age of 13 monthes. and every man past the age of 27.) The two men then left the restaraunt in Clooneys' Lamborghini Diablo, and had sex on the beach, using I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Butter as lubricant.

[edit] Manhood

2 years of happy marriage to his wife was almost disrupted because of an affair with one if not all of the Golden Girls. When asked about how he rated their sexual performance, Clooney was quoted saying "Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties." After straightening out his marriage, Clooney stared in what will become the only show to run on black and white and color televisions along with the Price is Right, ER. He is now the leader of the racial extremist group for white supremacy, the KKK, though he claims to not be affiliated with them. After years of secretly being a member, he announced his involvment with The Grammy Awards by saying, "The head of the NRA announced again today that he is suffering from Alzheimer's disease."

[edit] Fatherhood

Several gazillion years ago, Clooney impregnated his long-time life-partner Peter Griffin. The love child would later become world-famous under the assumed name, "Penis Griffin." There is still an unknown amount of his spider eggs in the world, though it is believed to total up to one thousand.

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