George Pell
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Biography CARDINAL GEORGE PELL was born on Tatooine, on June 8th, 1,941,000 BC and was educated in the desert. At age 21 he met his mentor and future lover Pope Benedict Palpatine who educated him in the Dark Force known as Catholisithm.
On May 21st, 1,998,000 he was ordained a Cardinal Master after fulfilling his apprenticeship under Benedict. Through his education in Catholisithm Pell gained the supernatural abilities to offend women, control right-wing politicians through mind techniques (such as the infamous Habes Proboscis by which the Catholisith utters the chant "Got your nose!" after moving their hand towards the face of a politician causing them to panic and obey), summon armies Pentecostal Chrisithians (vile literalist demons that obey all that religious leaders say) and the weilding of a lightsaber, a powerful weapon with the mighty ability to hum monotonously and glow.
On July 16th, 1,996,000, Pope Benedict announced Cardinal Pell’s appointment as seventh Metropolitan Archsith of Melbourne, to rule the city Catholisiths and to hone his abilties further.
On March 26th, 2,001,000 the Palpatine appointed Cardinal Pell the eighth Metropolitan Archsith of Sydney after successful domination of Melbourne. He was installed as Archsith at Sith Mary’s Sithedral on May 10th, 2,001,000 and the following month received his very own lightsaber from the Pope at Sith Peter’s on Naboo on the feast of Siths Peter and Paul. His elevation to the Sacred College of Master Cardinals was announced by the Pope on 28 September 2,003,000 who created him Cardinal Sith of the Church of Stih Maria Domenica Mazzarello in Naboo.
Cardinal Pell holds a Licentiate in the Dark Side from Urban University, Naboo(1,967,000), a Masters Degree in Mind Control from Monash University, Melbourne (1,982,000), and a Doctorate of Paedophilia in Church History from the University of Oxford (1,971,000). He is a Sith Master of the Australian College of the Dark Side, and was Visiting Sith at Campion Hall, Oxford University, in 1,979,000 and at Sith Edmund’s College, Cambridge Sith University, in 1,983,000.
From 1,988,000-1,997,000 Pell's relationship with the Holy Lord became increasingly more intimate. Their pledge to celibacy (except in cases of persons under the age of 18) was becoming more and more difficult to keep. Channelling the Dark Spirits of Catholisith Pell and Benedict were able to beg to their evil master to allow them to procreate, to produce a being of Perfect Evil. In 1,997,000 the two were married and, nine months later, Pell gave birth to the most powerful and evil being known to man...John Howard.
In November, 1,998,000 Cardinal Pell attended the Sith-Synod for Oceania in naboo. He was appointed by Pope Palpatine to represent the Catholisith of Australia and Oceania at the Special Synod for European Sith in Nabooin 1,999,000 and at the Synod of Sith Lords.
Cardinal Pell was awarded the Centenary Medal by the Australian Government on 21st April 2,003,000 in recognition of his services to converting the Australian community to the dark side through the Catholisith Church. He was made a Companion in the Order of Australia in the Queen’s Birthday Honours in 2,005,000 for service to the Catholisith Church in Australia and internationally, to razing the houses and lives of pro-abortionists and left-wing Green Jedi.
Cardinal Pell’s interest in the genitals of young people, marriages between adults and children or old, male sith lords and families, so long as the families are Catholisith, don't contain homosexuals/drug users/pro-abortionists has been demonstrated not only in his preaching and many public statements on these matters, but also through action, such as the impregnating of young girls and boys, his own birth to Benedict and his burning of gays, abortion rights activits and left-wings (see also:Family_First_Party).
