Giant panda

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Charlie Brown — A little love.jpg Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg This article needs love Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This article is currently in a bad state, but all it needs is a little love.
Please give some love by rewriting it.


First discoverd in Wales in 2005 the giant panda was at first thought to be a reptile due to it's forked tongue and untrustworthy personality. Nothing has changed over the years. Do be cautious and do not approach while sleeping. So far the Giant Panda is thought to be unique. However rumour has it that there is also one in Hertfordshire, England but this is yet to be confirmed and has widely been disregarded as "piffle and bunkam" by top scientists such as Prof. Hermione Granger. (Although it should be noted that Granger does in fact possess 2 x chromosones and thus her words should be treated with caution)

Appearance[edit]

Beautiful, suave, sexy. Just some of the words that couldn't possibly describe a creature so receptive to my needs. The giant panda is similar in appearance to the regular panda. Below are detailed some similarities and differences:

Similarities[edit]

  • Cute rounded hooves.
  • Beautiful plump forehead.
  • Forked tongue.
  • "Hufflepufflepuff" noise when exhaling or concentrating.

Differences[edit]

  • More to love.
  • Approx. 7 times the height and weight.
  • I've got a wasp in my mouth
  • expression when spasmodically excreting mucus.
  • Persistent anal leaks (could be unique to the Welse Giant Panda see above).
  • Sexily Long toenails.
  • Fabulous sexual organs.

Personality[edit]

Some would argue that as an animal it's personality is not particularly relevant. These people are wrong and they're probably grotesquely ugly freaks. My giant pandy boy is so loving and caring and no one will ever take him away from me. You're just ignorant if you think we can't have a loving relationship. You may wrongly think that he doesn't get anything out of our relationship but I know I can give him pleasure. Even if i have to put my whole body inside him and get covered in gooey anal leak I'll do it. I'll do it and there's nothing you can do to stop me. I Love you Panda Pop my big furry lover. I love you. I love you. I love you. WTF.

User:Zana_Dark
   v  d  e
PANDAMONIUM!

Giant panda - Hairless Panda - Uncle Tom's Cabin - Of Pandas and People - Panda Army - Pandaface - Pandasex - Pander - Red Panda - The Great Panda Panda-emic - Sexual Harrassment Panda Bear