Giant space wasps
Giant Space Wasps, orginally discovered in the year 678 BC (or the year 790 BC depending on the source), are the real reason for the second coming of Christ. In their massive takeover of Sweden, the Space Wasps actually managed to enslave the entire chihuahua population of Mars. Their diet consists of flour, ketchup and dead babies. Taken in as a pet by Sir Thomas Jefferson after his 2 week vacation to Siberia, these wasps were the first insect colony to kill a federal employee. After their conquer of the United States, the Space Wasps quickly moved in to take over the Congo and AOL. Space Wasps generally can fly faster than 2 miles per hour, but the record is 7834837 inches per second (though some sources believe this speed was recorded by Dick Cheney in an attempt to get national attention). They recently took over Google on December 66 and aim for Wikipedia in the near future.
These mysterious creatures have most recently been found at the following locations. If you happen to be near any of these places, we would strongly advise that you wet your pants and run screaming to your neighbor's door. If that doesn't help, you could try cryogenically freezing yourself and waiting for the Rapture.
- Michael Jackson - left horribly mutilated (hence, the plastic surgery...)
- The guy Dick Cheney shot
- Adolf Hitler
- The pope