Ginger Fission

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
The Ginger fission reactor approaching critical mass.

Ginger Fission is the act of utilizing ginger kids in a way that was thought only possible for isotopes of uranium. The Ideal is the same - bring many specimens together in a closed confined space and let the combined energies reach the critical mass, and start the fission chain.

The Science Behind Ginger Fission[edit]

When Uranium 235 is brought together inside a reactor, it naturally starts to heat up and glow. This is exactly the same for ginger kids. One ginger on their own provides only minimal warmth out of only one pole, but by aligning several thousand gingers in parallel, a temperature of several hundred thousand degrees can be attained. By placing them into a parallel circuit the vector sum of all those tiny little red hairs, is exponentially multiplied, thusly explaining the phenomenal temperatures.

"Wow!, my Ginger's Become an Energy Source, but How do I Utilize it?"[edit]

The Ginger fission equation.

Simple! so far we have only described the process of heating the gingers, but not the actual method of energy production. once the Ginger Fission Cadets (GFC's) have reached critical mass, an attempt to courageously drown them is taken and the water is instantly vaporized, producing vast quantities of clean, renewable steam to turn turbines and generate power. The only harm caused to the gingers is the exfoliation of their skin, this may led to premature wearing out of freckles, but by regular service every 200,000 cycles, your ginger should last a good 2-3 months before becoming depleted.

The Problem of Depleted Ginger Hairs[edit]

Why haven't the entire world embraced ginger fission? well, the main problem is once the gingers have started to become depleted of their natural warmth, their hair must be cut, to prevent an uncontrollable ginger meltdown, resulting in gingervitis in the surrounding areas. Australia has recently placed a bid to house toxic ginger kid hair tailings and sum feces. Australia coincidentally happens to be the worlds largest exporter of ginger kids, with japan being the largest importer as they have no commercially viable ginger supplies.