GIR

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Gir
Gir
Date of birth: When he was built by the Tallest
Place of birth: Irk
Nationality: Byzantine Empire
Occupation Emperor Zim's publicist

GIR is Invader ZIM's Publiscist, as well as Vice Invader of Earth. GIR is the god of a religion known as Growlongs. He is a robot who was created by the Almighty Tallest in the year 1985. His brain consists of a McDonald's hamburger and a paper clip.

He was given to Zim, who then conquered Earth. ZIM, who, according to many reports, had been huffing kittens at the time, made him his Vice Invader and publicist. With his new powers as Vice Invader, GIR appointed a council of 5 evil dictators and 2 random idiots. The council was ruled by George Foreman, though other members included Harper Lee, Ronald Mcdonald, Tom Cruise, George W. Bush, R.L. Stein,6 retards and the Krazy Taco Man.

Political Career[edit]

Gir in the political spotlight.

In 2006, the Jews conquered Earth. Gir then became Vice Rabbi and ruler of the moon. At a conference in 2008, Gir said that he liked corn. Because of this dirty Jew cunt, Gir became very popular among farmers. However, the meat industry has publicly expressed their dissatisfaction.It was then that GIR was made commander of the mighty board,Zim's fourth ruling council,which consisted of a rubber pig, a rubber band, a rubber brain, 47 grues, and a dalek.


GIR was involved in a heated race to become ambassador to Hot Topic.After the comitte that was in charge of awarding this prestigious position noticed Mr. Skellington was dead, The Insane Clown Posse won this position.Boo. Yet, he still has wristbands, zippers, school supplies, belt buckles, bags, hoodies, and various other objects of pwn that ICP can never match because they dont have a cute lil cupcake loving alien so take that!

Recent events have uncovered small fragments of GIR's past, causing an international backlash when it was discovered he was the cause of the first great black gang member civil war, against the mudbuts and sentients, as he slaughtered both sides and later assassinated Utada Hikaru , and exterminated the clown species, with help from taco bell, ronald mcdonald and burger king. When asked to comment by the daleks, he exclaimed,"I got's me a piggy!".

Philanthropy[edit]

Gir in his usually short-lived "duty mode".

GIR is well-known for his charitable acts, mainly donating a large number of rubber piggies to Toys For Tots, and saving the nearly extinct species of Bohemian Elephants. As well as his generous donations to the dawn french for queen of england compaign.

Sponge Bob denies he killed GIR.

GIR is also well known for offering food to homeless shelters. He is usually found donating his world famous waffles. Up until 2019 no-one knew what made this waffles so delicious until

Aww..poor Gir.....

zim asked him. Apparently the secret ingredient in said waffles was waffle. However, this is much debated in the scientific community. Of the few supporters who believe in the waffle theory Captain Obvious is the most prolific who says:


Likes[edit]

GIR likes many things. In fact, there is very little stuff that GIR doesn't like. His favorite movie was the "Intestines of War", which was quickly taken out of circulation after the the intestine-phobic populous started a civil war with Taco Bell and churches. They were all wiped out, leading way for the Devil to do the hokey pokey all over the world. You can, in fact, look this up in the Guinness Book of World Records under "Bogus crap that some kid in Media Comm made up". Gir has also known to "love this show". He also loves the little tacos. He loves them good. He also loves chocolate bubblegum pretty good, too. One of Gir's favorite hobbies is killing you, which he does very well.Gir also enjoys running, being naked (in other words without his dog costume), and tuna. But by far Gir's favorite thing to do is eat cupcakes.When asked in a harsh tone why there is bacon in the soap he will simply reply,"I made it myself!!" GIR is also greatly, emotionally attatched to animals. Do NOT take his piggy. He will cry and ask why. He loveded that piggy then he will fall asleep. He loveded it. Gir also loves cows. Cows are quote, "his friends". Finally GIR also loves mooses. He shows this by squeaking his own stuffed moose and making a funny face. He is also thought to have a crush on Gaz, Zim's enemy Dib's sister because he is seen staring at her and tells her to dance with him.

Music Career[edit]

GIR is most well known in the music industry for his contribution to the Doom metal genre. GIR's Doom Song is not only considered the longest Doom song of all time, but also one of the longest songs ever in music history. It clocks in at approximately 262,804 minutes (6 months and 13 seconds), and considered the most doom song of all time both lyrically and in length. He also claims to be the turkey all along.

Presidential Campiagn[edit]

In 2008 GIR ran for president of the USA. His slogans were "Vote GIR! He's smarter than George W. Bush!" and "Vote Tacos!!" Results coming soon! After his narrow defeat by Barrack 'o' Brahma, he organized an underground militia force composed of silver transparent spheres and sharks with 'friggin lasers attached to their heads, for the purpose of continuing his promised D.O.O.M campaign.


See Also[edit]

This is what Gir looks like right before he kills you, simply because he kills you in reverse.