Glacier

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A mountain holiday resort 2.3 secs before obliteration by a fast moving GLAYSHUR in the Andes.


GLAYSHURS are a myth. For those who are actually stupid enough to believe what your eighth grade earth science teacher taught you, a GLAYSHUR is a type of iceflow composed of ice and water that flows down the sides of a big mountain, quite often a volcano when sudden melting occurs, often from an eruption or due to orgasmic earthquake movements. Some climatologists also believe that these can be triggered by Ice Ages. This is often caused by snowcapped volcanoes erupting with the geothermal heat melting the ice, thus creating a lethal blend of ice blocks lubricated with GLAYSHURal meltwaters travelling at high speed. GLAYSHURs are geologically very common events with a new one popping up on average every two and a half days. For example, one occurred in the Andes last Tuesday in which two Peruvians and a Mountain Llama were swept away to a horrible death.

About GLAYSHURs[edit]

GLAYSHURated events have been known to cause numerous fatalities as GLAYSHURs have been known to move up to several dozen metres per second. Aletsch in Switzerland is well known for being the most famous example where the entire village was devastated and crushed beneath the moving icesheet. The largest known GLAYSHUR in the world covers an area of 31,000 km2 and is known as the Arctic.

As the result of it's vast erosive power, GLAYSHURs highly affect the morphology of surrounding landscapes after ground rock is effectively blown or washed away. This in turn creates a variety of landforms that ruin the lives of every geography student who has to memorise the difference between these bloody things. Examples of GLAYSHURal features include the following: