Go Out With A Loser Who Has Never Had A Date Day

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Great, he brought some fine wine...

The Go Out With A Loser Who Has Never Had A Date Day, short Porn Day, is a holiday which is celebrated by most nerds in the world. Its main goal is to help nerds get Hot chicks. For obvious reasons, this never works. Many Uncyclopedia users celebrate Porn Day.

History of Porn-Day[edit]

In 1774, some freak called Goethe just couldn´t hit on a hot girl. Shortly before killing himself, he wrote an incredible boring novel so that pupils in later times would be able to imagine his pain while they are analysing this shit. Emos from around the world read it and had a big discussion about love, sadness, diarrhea and silly porn magazines they had stolen from their mother´s new boyfriend. In the end, they decided to make the 15th of February "Go Out With A Loser Who Has Never Had A Date-Day" in a desperate attempt to be noticed by any female being.

Rituals of Porn-Day[edit]

The ritual of Porn-Day is the same every year:

  • Little fucking stupid nerds will crawl out of their holes. When approaching a female, they will try to rape her, breaking their own legs in the process.
  • If they reach home without being shot, stabbed, pissed on, getting huffed or their heads crushed with a cola can, they will turn on their Pc, check their E-mails and watch porn, while infesting their Pc with spyware, dialers, AIDS, cancer and headcrabs.
  • Nobody will call them on this day. Nobody will drop by. Nobody will care.
  • If they don´t die of lonelyness, cholera (one shower a month really shouldn´t that much of a problem) or dehydration during playing a MMORPG, they will probably get beaten up by the boyfriend of the girl they tried to "hit on".

"Porn-Day Con"[edit]

Since 1945, an organisation calling itself UN, "United Nerds" has held a "Porn-Day Con" in New York. This con is, in fact, nothing more than a peep show with brief talks about Iran, Iraq, Canada and other important topics. The current leader of the UN calls himself <[B4N]>Ky-m00N.

See also[edit]