Godel's Incompleteness Theorem

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Godel's Incompleteness Theorem, or GIT, was the Japanese mathematician's last, greatest, and most infuriatingly incomplete work. It consists of a three-part algorithmic-modularic-asymptotic-anticlimactic-quindratic-variability equation, which supposedly contrives through the medium of the algebraic structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other, and one should be left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever the theorem is about. We would know what the theorem was about, if weren't for the fact that the middle step is conspicuously absent.

GODEL'S INCOMPLETENESS THEOREM (Standard version):
1. (x^[2abi*yx]/cot[3abi+3e15-{75q83}]) :|: <5e! / xlog42^nth> taken to 35% level (metasyntactic)
2. ???
3. PROFIT!!!

Many theories have been put forward as to why the theorem is incomplete. Some speculate that the pure constructs which Godel was attempting to define were so complex and connected so many diverse branches of mathematics that either even his formidable mind was unable to completely articulate them, or he simply ran out of greek letters and gave up. Others contend that he was simply a closet procrastinator and died before he could finish the problem because he spent too much time playing Solitaire and organizing his sock drawer. Modern commentators favour the latter view, based on a note left by Godel that he had finally cracked it, but had insufficient space to write down the proof. However, before he could write it down fully, he was run over by a possum on a unicycle. There are those who say that one day Godel will return to finish the job. These people, who call themselves Waiting For Godel, are crazy.

Some meta-mathematicians claim that Godel believed this theorem would demonstrate why it is so hard to observe the Loch Ness Monster, as it demonstrates that the loch itself is not all there. He suggested that deep parts of the loch actually exist in a para-timeframe which enables Nessie to travel to and from the Triassic period. They prefer the spelling "Godel's Incomplete Ness Theorem".

Since the GIT was not learned about until after its creator's death, and also that he left no notes or formulae behind apart from a faint chalk impression which was accidentally partly erased by the scene of crime examiners, the true meaning of the theorem is almost certainly lost forever.

To be confused with the Incompleteness Theorem article, whose author had enough intestinal fortitude to use umlauts.