Gold rush

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"What's the rush and the push all about? Oh, gold? Gold does give me quite a rush."

“Now i aint' sayin' she's a gold digger.”

~ Kanye West on the gold rush economy

The Gold rush was period of migration after the American Civil War, and before the syndication of American Gladiators. It was a time of gunfighters, and the advent of Old West theme parks like "Silver Dollar City". Millions of recently laid off Chinese Railroad workers flooded to California to find gold. There was a general consensus at the time that gold was more valuable than silver, and almost as valuable as a roll in the hay with Annie Oakley.

In the Beginning[edit]

God spent more time on hiding gold in the Americas, rather than silver, this was due to his foreknowledge of the need for silver in the great Mormon Tribal Wars of the 12th Century. Only silver arrows could slay the great foes of the Mormons of this period- werewolves. After realizing that he buried so few dinosaur fossils for people to find in Northern California God decided it would be ideal to hide gold here first, and worry about the teeth of aspiring gangster rappers later.

Sutter's Mill & Drug Emporium[edit]

In 1849 gold was discovered in the new world when the pot of a leprechaun was accidentally pawned by Wyatt Earp. Convinced he was ridding himself only of Doc Holliday's spittoon, ownership of the pot was transferred to an infamous San Franciscan gangster-First Lee, a Chapanese person inexplicably living in Utah, was the first human to smoke gold. Its advised that he be contacted before his next Gold rush to avoid his abuse of the laws of physics. After an arduous argument with him after his last gold rush (which took place halfway down a geyser) he agreed to tell the interviewer how it felt. He smiled and said...something in Chapanese...it became obvious that that he couldn't speak either English or Engrish. After the interview, First Lee, disappeared and to this day...can be seen on Unsolved Mysteries

Word of the Pot at the End of the Rainbow Spreads[edit]

News of the discovery of gold in California hit the streets fast:

“The only thing I ever spied faster than that thar news was the General Lee and those pesky Duke boys!”

~ Roscoe P. Coltrane on Gold rush

Leprechauns everywhere were aghast at the news, and begin buying up property that would later become a chain of gas stations. Immigrants from all over the world flooded from their home countries and occupations as indentured servants for the privilege of working in the Chinaman's gold mine.