Gorillaz
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A gorilla (plural form: gorillaz) is a band/primate. They all wish to be angels, because they aren't. They are real, and they look real. They are perceived to be cartoons to the human eye, but if looked at in a photo where the human eyes are not looking directly at them they show their true form as real people.
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[edit] Members
All though all members were created at the same time, some are older than others (don’t ask me how this is mathematically possible; you need to watch Primer to understand).
Noodle: She is from the Mushroom Kingdom. When she first arrived she would only eat 'Noodles' and could speak perfect English, hence the name Noodle. Raped by Darth Vader. Actually Noodle always knew her first name but it was too stupid to be consider a real name. She was shipped to England in a Fed-ex box by her gay father so that she would not be eaten by her mother. Originally she was meant to be shipped to Luigi's Mansion to save Mario. But was delivered to the Gorillaz Kong studios by mistake. She joined the band when she was 10 years old, she is now 18. She has for a pet a chain-smoking monkey called Mike who always wears a fez and eyes Russel. She may have a crush on Murdoc, 2D, Russel, Batman and many other fictional characters but does not care.
2D: Named after the two D-cup breasts that he received for his 15th birthday. Got his messed up eyes acquired from having a car bounced off his head twice by Murdoc. 2D thinks his hair is purple, possibly mistaking his head for his badly dyed pubis. He has 23 kids or more all of which are legitimate and more than three quarters may in fact belong to Murdoc. 2-D has a very long list of fears they are, light, Hello Kitty, the color yellow (but only on Fridays) Murdoc in a thong, naked women, Murdoc behind the wheel, Murdoc in every way and Russel when he's hungry.
Russel: The only hill billy guy in the group, it his job is to turn on the drum machine. Much like Cyborg(just without the cool thingy in the arm) from Teen Titans, he receives no fan attention whatsoever with the exception of India's banjo community.
Murdoc: Born on June 6, 1966 (6.6.66). He is still getting all the ladies at 42 years old. His real name is Bruce Banner otherwise known as the Incredible Hulk. He plays the E string on his bass mixed with his G string which he often lets other people run their hands over, he is a devout Satanist from Stoke on Trent. One day 2-D snapped under all the senseless harassment from Murdoc and broke his nose with a shovel. Causing him to developed many alter egos, all of which having far less talent than him. Such as Keith Richards, David Bowie, Gene Simmons and Robbie Williams. He has a million kids as he commonly claims "(insert name here)? I had them, wish I hadn't". Also, he sold his soul to the devil in exchange for having one eye red and the other black. Though he is a Satanist, he is believed to be God as implied in the song Murdoc Is God.
Paula Kracker: ex-member of Gorillaz, wants to kill Noodle because she has no life and is in crack, she may have almost killed Noodle with cleverly disguised crack in her noodle soup, however Noodle is immune to all forms of poison including weedkiller, crack, nuclear waste and tofu. Definitely tofu. Paula was the guitarist until 2D caught her and Murdoc gettin' frisky in stall number three of the studio toilet. He pushed Paula out the window, but she landed on all fours and was not hurt at all. Unfortunately *cough* FORTUNATELY *cough*, she landed in the middle of a highway and was run over by Chuck Norris.
Del: A blue ghost thing with clown lips and a knack for spouting clever nursery rhymes to a beat. He is currently on vacation in Iqaluit, Nunavut, because Russel didn't want to wear the yellow trucker hat where Del resided anymore because it itched his sensitive scalp. Russel now wears a weird inverted red cup with a tassel attached to it, like the thing the monkey wore in Aladdin. Russel's currently possessed by a violent sea monkey who inhabits said red cap.
[edit] Albums
The first self titled album featured 57 tracks. Two thirds of these tracks either featured 2D dropping his microphone in a puddle of urine or Murdoc throwing his bass and 2D's keyboard down a flight of stairs. The rest of the tracks featured random rappers with speech impediments. Their most notable song off of this album is "Left Foot Suzuki Method," where there are noises of goats kicking 2D in the face while Murdoc sings the Spanish opera Que Pasa Contigo Del Monotonista in German, the opening sounds for the song consist of Russel blowing bubbles in his milk glass (Communists would say that he is hitting a bong). Noodle also would occasionally let Russel turn the guitar on while the drum machine would break down half way.
The second album was titled Go Record Everyone But Ourselves featured--suprise!--more random rappers as well as unknown singers in a majority of the songs and washed up movie stars in "Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey's Ass", and the choir from a home for mentally ill children in the song "Dirty Sanchez" and a weird song called "Kids With Guns" which has something to do with some children of the mafia apparently.
[edit] Videos
The videos are usually directed by a child on meth and most often feature the band standing around looking bored. It has flying lighthouses, too. Also makes millons of fans worldwide panic and riot like with the video "The Tomorrow" Also one video "DARE" shows a 14 year old Noodle dancing in rather creepy way with a big head looking at her like eye candy. Noodle didn't tell the other three because she didn't want them to ruin it how they ruin the video for Feel Good Inc.
- Clint WestFood - A song about western food tasting like Smoked Pot
- Every Planet We Reach is Dead - What it says.
- 19/2000 - The Gorillaz take a big travel in time, but why?
- Feel Like A Frog Inc. - An Incorporation about frogs that Gorillaz never got round to making.
- Don't you DARE take my acid - The Gorillaz mention about a rehabilation person THEY asked to come round, and how this person steals their drugs
- Dirty Harry Potter DVD - They sing about how their Harry Potter DVDs are in a bad condition.
- El Manana - Noodle is killed. Well, not really, but we just say that so it sounds cooler.
[edit] Noodle's Death
In 2007, George W. Bush, having a childhood grudge against Noodle due to an accident in Japan involving him, Noodle, three large anvils, a helicopter, and Chuck Norris (thus, explaining his low I.Q), sent helicopters to destroy the flying windmill she is on. Luckily, Noodle escaped the windmill unharmed only to land in a giant room filled with heads that ate her, although her soul went to hell and Murdoc just happened to be there on vacation, so he rescued her and brought her back to life. The band filed a lawsuit against the president for being such a stupid bitch and received 20,000 dollars in the process. Bill Clinton described Bush's actions as worse than firing missiles on Disneyland.
[edit] Movie
There is a movie in the works. Terry Gilliam is planned to be the director. When asked how he will make the film, Gilliam said that he plans to throw 2 billion dollars off of the Chrysler Tower, get drunk, and then puke on a reel of film. 2D will die (as symbolism of Damon Albarn being a pussy and discontinuing his role in Gorillaz) and turn into a Zombie and eat Murdoc's head (Murdoc fangirls got very pissed off, since they are known to defend their god with their life).
It turned out this was a joke. Which is a shame because it would have been Piss funny. Even to fans.
[edit] Sex
Ummm... I'm not really sure why this section is here. It's not wrong to say that Noodle is probably the sexiest cartoon(looking)-teeny-bopper-Asian on the planet, but any fanboy that would be willing to say that would most likely be dismissed as a cartoonphile for admiting it. Which would be extremely embarassing, because she's only a cartoon(looking)...around 13 or 15, even Noodle does not know her real age or name for that matter.
Murdoc is known for his good looks, so he gets all the ladies. He has said that "Yea all the kids like 2D. I don't know why though. However, all the ladies love me. It seems they like men". He can get any woman to instantly fall in love with him by looking in his red eye and black eye at the same time. (Although he's secretly trying to get some ass from 2D. But 'Shh!' Don't tell anybody!) He was successful in provoking 2 of 2D's girlfriends: Paula Cracker into a bathroom stall, and Rachel Stevens out the door. Murdoc fangirls are known for their vicious devotion to their god Murdoc. Most of them have shrines in their bedrooms entirely devoted to him, consisting of a bajillion action figures (and every Murdoc fangirl does naughty things with them - like sleep with the figures in their shirts. They say they do it because "That's what he wants".), plushies, posters, drawings, capes, cuban-heeled boots, satanic crosses, Pazazu statues, and other random Murdoc objects. Some fangirls go crazy and have dreams that he rapes them, and they love it. Murdoc fangirls and 2D fangirls are constantly fighting, 2D fangirls hate Murdoc fangirls because they claim they are 'Satanic bitches with bad personal hygiene!' Murdoc fangirls them damn the 2D fangirls to heaven (because every Murdoc fangirl wants to go to hell to be with their god) it is said that someone told him to go to hell and he said "Thank You". Actually, Murdoc fangirls should damn 2D fangirls to hell, so that they will face Murdoc for all eternity. Most Murdoc fangirls have converted to satanism to have something in common with their god. Actually, all Murdoc fangirls are Murdocists, members of The Church of Murdoc Which is related to satanism. Murdoc also had a close encounter with Shawn Ryder in the "DARE" video. He claims it was in the script, as a "dream-sequence." When questioned why his character would have this sort of dream, the satanic bass-player beat the interviewer with a wet noodle.
2D gets plenty of attention from the ladies, despite having a vacant blank-eyed stare and bad teeth, and despite that he has no clue that the end product of sexual intercourse with a woman is a baby, or at least until his mother told him when he was fifteen, after which he was spotted cleaning his ears out with giant purple Q-tips (although it seems that he has forgotten over the years). How does he do it?
No one likes Russel. End of story.
[edit] See Also
Barmy British Stuff 
