Gosh

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Aw, Shucks!
This article or section uses colloquial pseudo-swearwords.
Please notch straw between teeth now.

Gosh is the lesser and healthier brother of God. Despite being healthier than God, Gosh is still second-rate and can only 'darn' people rather than damning them. His angry, adolescent attitude has made him popular with many teenagers (especially nerds and 'good Christians'), who will often prefer to exclaim "Gosh darnet!" rather than "God damnit!" He has recently broken into the mainstream with repeated references to him in the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

Being bullied frequently by his older brother and other bullies at school, Gosh utilizes his power of darning mostly to protect other nerds of being abused. The Bullies of American High Schools Union didn't like this, and utilized the politicians they had paid off to pass litigations against Gosh; Gosh is now banned in 63 counties in the US. In order to fight back, Gosh resides in the two remaining counties of the US in which he is still allowed, and has harnessed the ability to 'darn' from across borders in order to defend his fellow geeks. The Bullies of American High Schools Union is currently working on a way to stop such abilities.

Common uses[edit]

Gosh can be used in several forms: spray, aerosol, powder and liquid. Examples:

  1. "Oh my Gosh!" (common form)
  2. "ohmygosh" (quick form)
  3. "GOSH!" (surprised form)
  4. "GOSSSHH" (klingon form)
  5. "605H" (small penis form)
  6. "Oh...my...gosh" (tiny plaid ninja form)

Places where Gosh might be found[edit]


The Christio-Religio Ladderal Hiearchy
CRLHladders.jpg Top Rung, the Holy Trinity: God, Jesus, & the Holy Spirit, opposed by Satan

Middle Rung, the Holy Triforce: Jeez, & The Holy Ghost, opposed by Stan
After a few drinks: Daddyo, Laddyo, & The Spook
Bottom Rung, the Holy Tripod: Gah, Jesús, & the Holy Rock, opposed by Santa
Fell off the Ladder: Goo, Jazz, and Hollywood, opposed by Stalin