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Gouda is a small city located somewhere within The Netherlands. The name is derived from the local word goǚdæ, meaning "brain damage", and is the birth place of some of the finest pink elephant trainers.


Gouda is suspected of being the exact location where a comet hit the Earth some 65 million years ago, killing all dinosaurs and resident ninjas. Fortunately, some pirates survived and were able to build some nice windmills. After Gouda sold Manhattan to the English, the place went downhill, which has proven to be the easiest and quickest way to get somewhere. It will also host the first intergalactic game of hide-and-seek in the year 2066, but they are trying to keep that a surprise. Joost was born here, which is regretted by the KGB.


The present inhabitants of Gouda believe that their city is famous for its cheese, but they are wrong. An ancient legend posits that the former inhabitants of Gouda abandoned their city many many years ago, and now live on the forest moon of Endor where they use holograms to project themselves across dimensions. 90% of the inhabitants of Gouda are 'Finnen'.


The City of Gouda is located near the end of the world. Because of the massive gravitational forces there, bad weather is attracted. Therefore, it always rains in Gouda. Due to extreme time dilation caused by the excessive gravity, the people there usually live their lives backwards.

Culinary traditions[edit]

Contrarily to popular belief, Gouda is not the home of Gouda Cheese for which it is so well known. It is, however, the hidden home of stroopwafels for which it is not so renowned.

Famous Citizens[edit]


Gouda is a very famous city because of his trainjumpers. They reach enormous heights by jumping the trains. The world record holder in the height discipline lives in Gouda.