Grand Theft Auto: Australia

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--“It is a common misconception that we Aussies are a friendly bunch. 

 In reality, this is designed to attract tourists, whom are then beaten, robbed and fed to the crocodiles.” 
 Australian Ministry of Tourism

Contents


You'll come a-waltzing
You'll come a-waltzing
Grand Theft Auto: Australia is a sandbox style video game series created by Davey Jones and primarily developed by Scottish company Cockupstar North Ipswitch and Cockupstar Leeds in England and published by Cockupstar Games as more humiliation heaped upon the lower caste Aussies by the United Kingdom, as Decreed by the Mad Queen Elizabeth. The game takes place around the listed cities and landmarks in Australia: Players will begin by stealing a Land Rover and then accumalating points by going on a alcohol fueled murderous rampage against the enemies of Australia, namely tourists and immigrants, since Aussies spend all their money on booze and hookers and have to wait for someone to come to their country. Drivers go about ravaging game NPCs which are affectionately named Spics, Frogs, Poms, Krauts, Seppoes, Russkies, Chinks, Nips, Wogs, Dagoes, Gooks, Curry Munchers, Nepalese, Nigs FOBS, along with a whole bunch of others. Australia is not a racist country however, as its immigration policy does permit former Nazis and Czech war criminals to enter the country.
1000 pnts for killing, skinning and eating this kitten raw.
1000 pnts for killing, skinning and eating this kitten raw.

[edit] Plot

“This Game Rules!”

~ Michael Jackson on The Game

“I Love this Game!!”

~ Your Mom on GTA: Australia

“Stealing cars is fun!”

~ Kirby on Being a Jerk
The games allow the player to take on the role of a criminal Australian moviestar running from assault charges in all/some/a Australian big city, typically a lowly individual who rises in the ranks of organized film industry over the course of the game. Various missions are set for completion for the Film Directors of the city underworld, generally criminal, and involving a lot of butt shots which must be completed to progress through the storyline. Bank robberies, assassinations and other crimes feature regularly,(showbiz) but you will also be occasionally beating hotel clerks with Russell Crowe, taxi driving with former Aussie Celeb Paul Hogan, firefighting, pimping Naomi Watts, street racing, or learning to fly an airplane which are also involved as alternate adventures, which can be done at any time during the game, with the exception of the periods performing main missions. Capture reveals a scene where you share a cell with a drunken Mel Gibson shouting Anti-Semite profanities. .
Steve Irwin, The Playable Character.
Steve Irwin, The Playable Character.

[edit] Characters

Steve Irwin G'day! Steve Irwin is the Main Character of the game, He does Suicide Missions, Steal Cop Cars, Kill Cops, he runs the Australia Zoo, he will hunt crocs and hunt emus and he will kill the Stingray who killed one of the zoo keepers, JoJo.

Sk8r at the D1sco Nothing is Known about him

[edit] Aussie Gangs

  • The Lord Humongous Gang: Lord Humongous is the violent, yet charismatic and articulate leader of a "vicious gang of post-holocaust, motorcycle-riding vandals" who "loot, rape, and kill the few remaining wasteland, er, Australian dwellers. Styling himself the "warrior of the wasteland, the ayatullah of rock-and-rollah", .
  • ToeCutter Gang: Led by the Evil Toecutter, (who actually kind of looks like me) They are the next most powerful gang in the Game and are in Conflict with the MFP (Motha F'ng Poleece)
  • Crazy 88 Japanese Tourists: Travel round in Rental mini compacts and take pictures of Death. The flash of their pasty white skin in the Australian sun can blind you! Their leader is known as Owana Bigpusshi Ryu.
  • Bartertown Gang: The Bartertown Hood, is a trading post for all manner of criminals and governed by Aunt Entity and Master Blaster (Ike Turner).
  • The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. Leader Bill, kill him.
  • Men down Under Gang: Have you heard of the Men down under? Fire shotguns to blow you asunder. Can you hear, can you hear the thunder? Better run, better take cover.
  • MFP: Motha F'ng Poleece!
  • Stingray Gang: Seem reasonably harmless, but when you least expect it... Watch out!
  • Gippsland Gang:dangerous looters who live in Gippsland and eat your babies.9(dont no where gippsland is i just saw it on a map on google ok.

[edit] Weapons

GTA player children at school
GTA player children at school

Players will be able to use all the weapons which are typically Australian. Imagine being able to terrorize a city with a Boomerang. Provided is a sampling list of other distinctly Australian weapons.

[edit] Non Australian Weapons

  • Dildo
  • Pistol
  • Detonator - Useful for blowing up the Australia Zoo HQ
  • Uzi
  • Broomstick
  • Chainsaw
  • Flametrower
  • Bazooka
  • Grenade
  • Dynamite
  • Rake
  • Rape

[edit] Vehicles

  • Popemobile
  • Australia Zoo Hummer
  • Toyota Supra
  • Ford T500 Falcon
  • HSV GTS Coupe
  • Ford Mondeo
  • Ford Crown Victoria (Police)
  • Chevrolet Impala (Taxi)
  • Firetruck
  • Mercedes Benz Sprinter (Ambulance)
  • Pimpmobile
  • Steve Irwinmobile
  • Tank
  • Jurassic Park Jeep Wrangler
  • FBI Car
  • Koalamobile
  • Batmobile
  • Shitmobile
  • SWAT Van
  • Ford Focus
  • VW New Beetle
  • Smart Car
  • Mini Cooper S Veilside
  • Mercedes Benz C500
  • Hotrod
  • Peugeout 406 Taxi
  • Mazda RX 7
  • Penis Car
  • Your Mom (A tank that shoots out Urine)
  • Peterbilt 359
  • Subaru Impreza Rally Car
  • Sharkmobile
  • Jurassic Park Jeep Cherokee
  • Kawasaki Ninja ZR Motorbike
  • Triumph Thunderbird
  • Australia Zoo Helicopter
  • Police Motorbike
  • Ass - Range Rover
  • Horse
  • Ho' - Mazda Miata MX5
  • Battleship
  • 2X Motorbike
  • Y2K Motorbike
  • NEDM Motorbike
  • Toyota Hiace Racing Car
  • Hippy Van
  • Limo
  • Lamborghini Gallardo
  • Jeep Racer
  • Ice Cream Truck (Sells Drugs)
  • Pizza Scooter
  • Yourmommobile
  • Hearse
  • Stingraymobile
  • Police van
  • 1000 MPH Motorbike
  • Bicycle
  • School Bus
  • Sex Limo
  • Pirate Ship
  • Your Favourite Leg - A Renault Megane II RS
  • R.C. Car
  • Nissan Micra Ass Version
  • Assuie-Security Armoured Truck
  • Bus
  • Renault Clio (The Slowest car in the game)
  • Ford GT40
  • 1990 - 94 Lincoln Town Car
  • Mercedes Benz A Class
  • Scarab - WHAT! WHO THE FUCK PUT THIS HERE?!
  • 50's Cadillac
  • n00b - Ford Taurus
  • Hummer H3
  • Yukarimobile
  • Delorean
  • Flying Delorean

[edit] Controversy

  • The game is very controversial because it has nude women, Sexy women, you can pick up hookers, have sex with them and take them to

Assuie Strip Clubs, Oprah Winfrey was playing the game when she was drunk, there was 3 bottles of wine and she chose the wrong drink which had poison and was Supposed to attend a lawsuit, but she couldn't attend the lawsuit because she was Fucking Dead!

[edit] References

  • Drunken Aussies in Chess chatrooms.
  • A newspaper I found on a park bench.
  • Bunch of stuff I stole from other sites on the web about Aussies.
  • Pissing off citizens of the United Kingdom for Dummies.

[edit] Cheats

  • Spawn School Bus - KIDS
  • Spawn Popemobile - THEPOPEOFSYDNEY
  • Spawn Penis Car - WEE
  • Spawn Hippy Bus - HARDROCKHALLEJULAH
  • Have Steve Smoking Weed - JUNKIEIRWIN
  • Wanted Level up to Six Stars - WANTEDIRWIN
  • Commit Suicide - ANDNOWHEISFINISHEDANDWILLNEVERBESEENAGAIN
  • Spawn Police Car - FUZZ
  • Have Steve Snorting Coke - TRAFFICKING
  • Spawn a Sex Limo - SEXYMAMA
  • Steve doing a Crazy Dance Permanently - MICHAELJACKSON
  • Pedestrians Hate Steve - QUIETRIOT
  • Spawn a Delorean - BACK2THEFUTUR3
  • Spawn a 1000mph Motorcycle - VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
  • Spawn a Customized Mini - BRITCAR

[edit] Soundtrack

  • Back to the future theme
  • Australia, Australia
  • Losing a life

[edit] See also

Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob | Borat vs Bush
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | Advance | San Andreas Stories | Bikini Bottom Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era New Zealand | Toronto | Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Sunnyvale Trailer Park | Baghdad | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Springfield | Australia | Antarctica | Grand Theft Auto: Somalia
Currently in Production Afghanistan | Baghdad Stories | Germany | Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago | Venice |
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore
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