Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
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“You like? You buy!”
~ Borat on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
“Borat, you can make Sexytime with me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
“What a fantastic game, I would like to make love to Bush and Borat. They sound so fantastic. I really hope they are good because otherwise I would look a fool and wasted money on them. Meet me in 5 minutes outside my house.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
“ Gankpokji'linfnnjo-on all, just a quick question or two. Who is Borat? Who is Bush? Why was this game released? What is an Xbox?”
~ You on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
“I Want It”
~ Jon Laing on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs. Bush was a boring game produced by PRESIDENT COMPANIES and was released in 2002. It kept sales until 2006 after a murder of an employee was found in the game. Originally the game would be rated M but later PRESIDENT COMPANIES decided to ban the game.
Contents |
[edit] Level One - Kazakhstan
You begin the game in Gankpokji'linfnnjo-on (pronounced 'Hello'), which is the protagonists home town. Here, you must search your hood, picking up money, guns, and retrieving your passport from a pre-op transexual. You may also have sex with your sister, the 4th best prostitute in Kazakhstan, kill your wife, and feed your retarded brother to the sewer rats. You must then steal the only car in the village (towed by horse), and make your way to Kazakstan Int. Airport, which is operated by Richard Head Airliners.
[edit] Level Two - Richard Head Airport
You begin the level heading towards the airports door, and must dodge all the citizens in the airport, which is achieved by stimualting your horse. You must then make your way past several levels of security. here, you will encounter the first boss, Saddam Hussein. Using all your skill and wit, you must gun him down, after picking up his hidden WMD's off a Boing-boing 7^747. Finally you clear up Saddam's spilled guts, and board the Boing-boing 7^747, which was heading for the USA.
[edit] Level Three - Trekking the USA!
This level is essentially a free-roam level, in a homage to the 5th GTA game - San Andreas. Here, the level is dotted with many missions to complete, including a McDonalds to buy, and you can also drive a real car for the first time! You may also have "Sexytime!" on the beach with Jessica Alba. Borat gets very excited!
You must make your way from East America to the White House (even though the whitehouse is on the east coast), completing at least 1000 of the missions before you can continue.
[edit] Final Level - The White House
Equipped with only a sniper rifle, a bottle of perfume and a fake blond moustache, you arrive at the White House, which consists of 3 floors.
Floor 1 Make your way along the hallway to fight the boss at the end, Condi Rice, who throws "Vote Condi 2008" Flags at you, until you manage to cauterize her with a fuse, in a incredibly strange piece of science.
Floor 2 Here, you confront only one person - the President - George W. Bush! He attacks you with various bushes - holly bushes, thorn bushes, bushes, pubic hair bushes, bRushes, bushes, conifer bushes, and bushes. You ultimately defeat him by attacking him with pesticide, and then Treebeard, who makes a cameo appearance from Lord of the Rings. Mrs Bush then appears, and you are allowed to 'Make Sexytime' with her if you wish. However, suddenly, a secret door appears, showing a staircase, leading to a final floor...
Floor 3 You enter a large circular-square room, covered with triangular-dodecohedron shaped screens, all being watched by a man who is jerking himself off. He turns around to reveal himself as Osama bin Laden. And so, the final battle commences. You must run back downstairs, rip off George W Bush's twanger, and use it to attack bin Laden. After 3 hours of continual button bashing, he is defeated, and the game is complete. You can now have more 'Sexytime' with Mrs Bush, as well as Mrs Clinton and Monica Legwinsky.
[edit] Reception
The game was released in 2002, and was positively received by all critics for 'its workamnlike structure' and 'amazing hoovering capabilities'.
In mid-2005, sales on the game were slimming down from 80% to 15% because of weapons found with an E rated game. In 2006, the game was banned from the United States after murder was found in the game.
[edit] ESRB Ratings
- First Release: E10+
- Second Release (after murder found): M
- Third Release (before banned): T
Oscar Wilde - My Little Book of Quotes and Ratings et al - 99.99999999999999999%
