Grand Theft Auto: Germany

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Grand Theft Auto: Germany is a GTA game currently in development, it will be released in 2368.

Cover from GTA:Germany
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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Grand Theft Auto: Germany. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

Storyline[edit]

The game begins in 1939, Germany, when Hitler invades Poland. While the soldiers are killing each other in the war, you're in your Fatherland, trying your best to find a way to become a respected nazi. In order to achieve this great plan, you start running errands for Nazi-officials, and slowly you start to climb the ladder to become Führer over Das Vaterland. This is the meaning of your life, what you've always tried your best to become. This GTA is based on brian

Characters[edit]

Jürg Köning[edit]

He is the main character in the game, the man you come to play. He was brought into this world in Wien on October 15th, 1889, during one of the worst thunderstorms during that decade. His mother was a ordinary housewife, and his father remains unknown till this day, April 12, 1939, when he arrives by train into Berlin and you for the first time is able to control young Jürg, age 21 as the story begins.

Goebbels-maniac[edit]

Goebbels-maniac

He is your best friend in the game, he helps you in some of your jobs. His inspiration in doing this jobs came from Goebbels (I think his name says it all) the fact that he too wants to be a nazi. He is a moody fellow but generally obedient and a man of honour in which you can put trust. He is also a very perverted man, with a certain taste for cannibalism and also beastiality.

Michael Schumacher[edit]

The great racing driver has a special guest appearance in the game where you have to race him in your Volkswagens around the streets of Berlin. The objective of this mission is that instead of Schumacher shoving you off the road, it's you who has to do it to him. The mission will be complete when Schumacher's car runs off the road and bursts in to flames.

Von Schweinsechs[edit]

He is the first nazi you work for, he starts giving you simple jobs, he'll ascend with you in your nazi carrier.

Hitler[edit]

Trolltalk.gif


hitler seen gettin his niggas in his pimpmoble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Major Jan Wojciechski[edit]

Leader of the Polish Resistance group that snuck into Germany. His brother was killed by the Nazis in the Blitzkrieg. You can either choose to help him fight the Nazis or kill him & his men.

Gangs[edit]

Nazi-kIlLeRs - They are the gang you'll work for, their sworm enemies are the Rebel-jews. Their objectives are:

  • Kill Jews
  • Find Jews
  • Meet tall, blonde, slutty and of course Aryan girls

Rebel-jews - This is the "ridiculous-trying-to-look-bad-ass" gang from Jews, they don't have weapons, armors, nothing, in fact, they just have a knife with whom they will attempt to circumcise your proud eight-inch manhood and render it a useless "Jew-cock". Easy to defeat, despite often coming in large numbers.

Educational-televisioners - They don't have nothing to do with the game, they just like to educate children and watch Barney.

Official Nazis - The unic official nazi group from the game, their leader is Hitler. As mentioned above, maybe you confront their leader when you'll get to the top.

Polish Resistance - A group of Poles who somehow snuck into Germany to fight the Nazis. If you want to, you can join them instead & go against the Nazis. If you do so, they get better weapons & more soldiers. How ever when when you get farther into the game, they turn into some ultra bad ass Atmoic Soldiers Of Poland or some shit and basicly whill gang up on you if you say shit so just dont point your crosshairs on them or your basicly dead and just go get a beer ....

so here is a link of the game designers concept art of the polish resitance http://msp34.photobucket.com/albums/d126/DawesyDawes/Army-of-Two-2.png

Soundtrack[edit]

There is only a pathetic 11 songs in GTA: Germany, all are from the 80's.

Hellhammer - Massacra Motorhead - Nothing Up My Sleeve Napalm Death - You Suffer A Flock of Seagulls - The Traveller Laibach - Vojna poema Bonnie Tyler - Going Through the Motions Poison - Cry Tough Skrewdriver - Our Pride Is Our Loyalty Mayhem - Necrolust Diamond Head - The Prince Obituary - Intoxicated

However if you enter the cheat, 'Up,Up,Down,Circle,Circle,Square,Up,Up,Right,Up,Up' the following 5 songs will be unlocked and played on the games Radio Station.

Boney M. - Future World Wham! - Wake Me Up Before You Go Go Possessed - March to Die Guns N Roses - Anything Goes Ganymed - It Takes Me Higher

Missions[edit]

This game has won a Hitler Award

The productors haven't said nothing yet about the missions, except the ones about "burning synagogues", "killing Jews", and "destroying their stores". But rumors said you will be able to trap jews in a room, and then kill then with poison gas, in a mission. You can also join the Polish Resistance to turn against the Nazis & slaughter them instead, resulting in an alternate ending.

Sub-Mission[edit]

Nothing revealed yet, except the fact you will be paid each time you kill a Jew. ISN'T THIS AMAZING?!?!?! Also a rumor is that in some mission you can play as Hitler himself.

Released Screens[edit]

In-Game Screens[edit]

Artwork[edit]

See Also[edit]

Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | San Andreas Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Antarctica | Somalia
Currently in Production Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore