Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley

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Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley now in stores.
Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley now in stores.

The eighth installment of the Grand Theft Auto series, Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley is one of the most astounding games, which won itself an Academy award in 3508 for the 'Best Selling Game in Ten Years'. Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley takes place in the Northern California city of Hill Valley. You play as Marty McFly as you attempt to change history to make yourself the kingpin of Hill Valley. Your allies are your girlfriend Jennifer and your eccentric friend Dr. Emmett Brown who invents the time machine you use to change history. You attempt to change history by travelling back to 1955 to stop your main rival, Biff Tannen, from being born. The game begins on October 25th, 1985 when you have to skateboard to school by hooking bumpers. When a motorist objects to your reckless behaviour you beat him up and steal his car.

Contents

[edit] Characters

[edit] Marty McFly

The main protagonist of Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley and leader of the McFly gang, Marty is a ruthless psychopath who will do anything he can to get ahead in life. The only people he cares about are Doc, his parents, and his girlfriend. He will screw over anyone else though in order to become king of Hill Valley. He and Doc invent a time machine in order to manipulate history for their own gain. They also engage in illegal activties at night to finance their science experiments including stealing Principal Strickland's newspapers in 1985. He is known to fly into a blind rage when called "chicken", because he counted his chickens too early.

[edit] Doc Brown

Marty's best friend and eccentric old man. He invents a time machine for the personal gain of the Marty McFly gang. Buys a sports almanac in 2015 and predicts that the Toronto Maple Leafs will never win the Stanley Cup again. He bets on the winners every year and becomes a millionare by 1990. He uses the winnings to finance his future science experiments including building a time machine out of a train and a helmet which is capable of electricuting people to death. Formerly a priest, but quickly turned to science after the Great Priest Purge of 1959, which was led, ironically, by Marty's former grunge rock partner Gandalf. Like all eccentric old men, Doc Brown is a convicted sex offender.

[edit] Biff Tannen

Patron Saint of Hill Valley and Citizen of the year, Biff is a fine human being. He does everything he can from stopping the evil McFly gang from taking over Hill Valley. He finds out about the time machine and then uses it to reverse the damage to the space time continuum caused by Doc and Marty. When he is not saving the world, Biff can usually be found working at his auto detailing shop or rescueing kittens from trees. Biff also volunteers at the local soup kitchen, and hospital. Biff drives a black '46 Ford which he has had since he was 18. He opens a Pleasure Palace in place of the clock tower in 1985a, where shit is all fucked up, and Biff is a bad person.

[edit] George McFly

Marty's old man. The biggest, meanest cat in all of Hill Valley. George was a bully in high school and was hard on everyone especially on Biff Tannen who did everything he could to please George, even doing his homework for him. After high school, George eventually worked as a writer writing science fiction/erotica novels about aliens and young women who are involved in kinky encounters. Looks a lot like Crispin Glover.

[edit] Lorraine McFly

Marty's old woman, even meaner then George. No one in Hill Valley dares to mess with her. She has been known to chase children down the street and hit them with a broom. She gets a boob job in 1985 at George's request. She used to date Biff Tannen in the 50s but left him for the bigger and meaner George.

[edit] Einstein

Doc and Marty's guard dog, Einstein is a vicious beast and will attack anyone who is not a member of the McFly gang. He nearly kills Biff Tannen when he attempts to take the DeLorean. Doc Brown used the time machine to take Einstein to Michael Vick's house to train him how to fight.

[edit] Marshall Strickland

The local sheriff of Hill Valley. Strickland does everything he can to stop Marty and Doc's campaign of Terror. His father is the principal of Hill Valley High which is terrorized by the bully Marty.

[edit] Principal Strickland

The principal of the local high school. Tried to stop George from bullying back in the 50s and now attempts to control Marty to no avail. Has received death threats from both Marty and his father. He will shoot off your nuts if he catches you stealing his newspapers.

[edit] Needles

Nerdy kid at the school, besides Biff he is another bullying target for the McFly gang. Marty causes him to crash into a Rolls Royce when he calls Marty a chicken. He is known for shitting his pants when alarmed too quickly.

[edit] Clara Clayton

Doc Brown's fuck of the month, he snagged her in 1885. Has two kids by her, Jules and Verne.

[edit] Jules and Verne Brown

The product of Doc's liaisons with Clara.

[edit] Goldie Wilson

Works at Johnny Rocket's in the 50s, now mayor of Hill Valley. Do missions for him in '85 to earn bonus cash.

[edit] Old Man Peabody

Some old dude who spends his time taking care of his two pine trees, Dis & Dat. However, Doc & Marty fried Dat with a flamethrower.

[edit] Buford Tannen

Biff's great grandfather. He was a minister and went around collecting donations from banks to give to the poor people of Hill Valley. Was beaten in a fight by Clint Eastwood in 1885 and was forced to eat manure. Was later framed for a train hijacking perpetrated by Doc and Marty and was hung for it.

[edit] Seamus and Maggie McFly

Irish immigrants to America in 1885. Seamus is also Marty's great-great-grandfather. He is a ruthless psychopath and terrorizes the citizens of Hill Valley. His wife is just as mean and is known to shoot at children who trespass on their farm.

[edit] Vehicles

A screenshot of Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley
A screenshot of Grand Theft Auto: Hill Valley
  • 1981 DMC DeLorean: The most important vehicle in the game. Doc's invention, it allows you to travel through time to make your personal fortune, and sexual encounters if wanted. Requires plutonium to travel through time at the start of the game; one of the missions includes killing several Lybians with parts from an old pinball machine after they bring you the required plutonium. Later in the game it only requires garbage. To drive it, you only need unleaded gasoline, not hard to come by unless it is 1885, remember it doesn't cost $4.20 a gallon ($1.14 per litre in Canada) like today's prices so you will be able to quickly get it.
  • 1946 Ford: Biff's car since the 50s. Marty and Doc often steal this car when they have to do illegal things, that way if something goes wrong, Biff will get the blame.
  • 1951 Packard: Doc's car in the 50s. Marty uses this car to take Lorraine to the dance to have his way with her. Marty was quoted as saying "Yeah I know she's my mom but she's so hot".
  • 1986 Toyota 4x4: Marty's truck in 1985, uses it when he forces Needles off the road into a Rolls Royce. Shags Jennifer in the back of it.
  • 2011 Steam Locomotive: The second time machine invented by Doc Brown. In addition to being used as a time machine Doc and Marty use it to hit cars in Hill Valley.
  • The Popemobile: The infamous pope car, you can use it at the beginning of the game.

[edit] Hill Valley Attractions

Doc drives through downtown Hill Valley in 1985.
Doc drives through downtown Hill Valley in 1985.
  • Lone Pine Mall (Formerly Twin Pines Mall): The mall where Doc and Marty first perform the time machine experiment in the early morning hours of October 26th, 1985. When they realize they have no poot-tony-yum, they call up some Middle Eastern nuclear technicians and have them take some plutonium to the mall to buy. Once they arrive, Marty and Doc shoot them to death and then take their corpses in the DeLorean to 1955 so the cops won't find them. Used to be called Twin Pines Mall, but after Doc & Marty go back in time & flamethrower one of Old Man Peabody's pine trees, the name changes in the future.
  • Hill Valley Clock Tower/Biffs Pleasure Palace: Lightning struck the tower in '55 and the town's people have been too fucking lazy to fix it so it stays there frozen at 10:04. Biff Turns it into a casino and hotel in 1985a. After Biff gets killed Marty and Doc turn it back into a clack tower, but thanks to Marty and Doc's reign of terror, this once family friendly point of interest, is now loaded with cheap hookers, and drug dealers.
  • Lyon Estates: Upscale Hill Valley neighbourhood in which the headquarters of the McFly gang is located. Marty and Jennifer shag behind the Concrete Signs at the entrance of Lyon Estates.
  • The Hilldale subdivision: A new upscale neighbourhood of Hill Valley, Marty and Doc committ most of their crimes in this neighbourhoods including break and enter, gas siphoning, and stealing barbecues. Doc also prowls this neighbourhood at night looking for young women. Marty and Jennifer live here in 2015. In 1985a, you can steal Principal Strickland's newspapers and re-sell them to make money for plutonium.
  • Johnny Rocket's: A 50s restaurant where you can buy food to regain health, and hang out with Goldie Wilson, 1985's mayor of Hill Valley. This is a good place to use as a front selling drugs to finance plutonium.
  • Hill Valley High School: A den of terror and tyranny. Principal Strickland does his best to control the McFly gang but it is useless, Marty runs this school and terrorizes students and teachers alike. The school burns down in 1979a, because Biff becomes bad and rules the town.

[edit] Soundtrack

  • You're Living in a Time Machine - Ozzy Osbourne
  • Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne
  • Power of Love - Huey Lewis and the News
  • 1985 - Bowling for Columbine
  • Beat It - kiddy fiddlin' Jacko
  • Double Nickels on the Dime - Sammy Hagar
  • Johnnie B. Goode - Marty McFly
  • Back in Time - Marvin Berry and the Starlighters
  • Disco Inferno - The Trammps
  • Turn back time - Cher
  • Time After Time - Quietdrive
  • Untitled - JamesCore
  • Down Under - Men At Work

[edit] See Also

Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob | Borat vs Bush
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | Advance | San Andreas Stories | Bikini Bottom Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era New Zealand | Toronto | Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Sunnyvale Trailer Park | Baghdad | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Springfield | Australia | Antarctica | Grand Theft Auto: Somalia
Currently in Production Afghanistan | Baghdad Stories | Germany | Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago | Venice |
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore
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