Grand Theft Auto: Lego City

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
ForestFireWeek2011Logo.svg Fire Danger: CATASTROPHIC (delete)


This page has been tagged as a candidate for deletion during Forest Fire Week and will be huffed after seven days.

If you love it, fix it up or move it to your userspace. Just be sure to list the redirect on QVFD.

Grand Theft Auto: Lego City (Grand Theft Auto: Lego Island until 2008) is a game made by Lego and Rockstar Games, and is the first violent game done entirely with Lego. The game was released for the PC in 2004, the Play Station in 2005 and the XBox in 2007. Set in 1997, Johnny Sick-o goes to Lego City to lay low for three years until summer-2000.

This is a cut-scene from Grand Theft Auto Lego City.

As Grand Theft Auto: Lego city[edit]

The game was released in 2004 as Grand Theft Auto: Lego Island. The game was at first rated AO but in mid-2005 was changed to E for no blood. In early-2005, a clean version cutting out the bad words and adult content. Grand Theft Auto: Lego Island's exsistance was put to an end in late-2008.


Pepper Ronnie[edit]

Skateboarder and former pizza delivery boy. He worked at Brickolini's before he got framed for murder. He now has to stop who done this and take the drugs and do little boys because he hasn't got a girl in years without paying for it. In Lego City, he is replaced with Johnny Sick-o.

Johnny Sick-o[edit]

He is the protoganist of Lego City. He comes to Lego City to lay low and have sex with chickens.

L Lawliet[edit]

The head of the cops who fails to catch Pepper, goes to the bar to ease his pain, and chokes on his own vomit.

Logan St. Claire[edit]

Logan St. Claire.JPG

A woman is old and nearly dead who wants to kill Pepper, she leads the Motorbrik gang of Brickbourogh. moi te ootte moloja siis kaikki te otte paskapäitä a woman who kills terrorists and eats them with her gang of zombie hobo's


Created by the Infomaniac, the Brickster is the Island's top dog and Crime Boss. His members either wear overalls or are robots. He is on a mission to kill whoever has betrayed him for all we know it could be his mother! His other goal is to finally kill his nemesis, a purple beaver named Todd.

Tommy Verslutty[edit]

He left Vice City because he had completed all the missions and felt restricted by his watery boundries. (You can use a you know what to go over that... But you will find more water.) Lego City also seemed a good place to show off his Hidden Package. At the Docks, He hitched a ride to Lego Island and met Pepper while ordering a pizza at Brickolini's.He grabbed Pepper and said "I will help you, no matter what it takes! Even if I have to stick your cock in my mouth."(Gay!)


he is the ultimate creator of the island. He also knows and frequently dines with both Oscar Wilde and King Kong.

Mama Brickolini[edit]

Another victim; she died in a brick oven and was on fire. Preliminary reports state the fire was started by a cup of water spilling into the oven, thus causing the steam to melt the puny plastic bricks surrounding the oven and eventually ignite the oversized can of cocaine that Mama Brickolini is addicted to, prompting her to dive towards the can of cocaine. She allegedly "Came in too fast" and flew into the oven. She seems to have recovered though.She has no arms,legs or face though.


Nobody knows where he came from, but everybody knows he's the biggest asshole of all the time. Some even say he smells like the hole of your ass! Also known as "The Anus Of Doom", this notorious character will rape and kill all who steal his lego poo!

Beware! The Asshole is there!

Stacy Ferguson[edit]

The sexiest person in Lego city and her Lego breasts actually stick out in the end. She and Johnny have a baby together.

Other Characters[edit]

  • Ernie, Streetcar driver and a boss.
  • SpongeBob SquarePants, Another boss, he and his posse are major bosses. They run Deep Album.
  • Mario, he and Luigi are major bosses and hold mean street races.
  • Bicker Bob a major racer who's hard to beat.
  • Gollum is from the lego law enforcement, his job is to keep noobs off the street and keep brickheads in place. Works with the jedi-master, Yoda.
  • Include Yoda, Rockstar did. Kill noobs, does he. Kicks-Ass, does he. Master-bates, does he. Steal precious, does he.
  • Beavis & Butthead: They just go around & cause random mayhem, but will also ask you to perform a few missions for them (which usually involves causing more mayhem). Their antics have drawn fire from Yoda and Gollum.
  • Ultra Jesus: Usually seen floating above the skies of Lego Island, firing missiles at innocent civilians. It's impossible to kill him and if you shoot at him, he'll fire lasers from his ass at you.
  • Osama Bin Laden:Drunken Hippy who sells a weapon in his coat of mass destruction
  • Motherfucker : Just fucks her mother
  • Tofu, the Swasticker. This guy screams stuff like 'Heil hating meat', and 'The jewivores need to die'. Not related to Adolf Hippie or Mr. Hitler

===Chuck Norris=== Find him and win the whole fucking game


After Tommy Versuty leaves Vice City he heads to Lego Island to start another life of crime.

He then runs into Pepper who is mad that he had his friends murdered and got blamed.

He then goes to Snap Lokets Big boy Casino, where he meets a person who once owned 10,000 light bulbs. He hears that If I help you win 1,000,000 dollars in casino money. After an all night drink and a roast of a salami leg he mets an unknown rider.

Later he rides the train and meets motor cops, one turns out to be Logan St. Claire, a mob leader. She tells them to go enter the race.

Later, Laura the Ice Cream Lady, who works alone and lost the police in a bet; or did she, she wants to find the murderer.

He meets Spongebob and Patrick, who are holding a street race on the island but lost to Bicker Bob.

After a party at Docta Clicket and Ed Mai he meets someone who knows who killed them but kant tell. In the middle of the race a mysterious stranger named Tuxedo Mask kills Bicker Bob in the middle of the race.

He and Pepper head to Mario's strip club with ninjas. They tell them to ride the dodo to Vice City and give them the Spanish gold doubloon from Miami beach.

Meanwhile Pepper realises Tommy Versuty's friend killed his friends and now must kill him and hires Ernie.

Later along the lego trolley Ernie shoots his car and the Brickster saves him.

Later Logan goes off to kill both of them tonight at the bridge.Tommy Versuty, the Brickster, and the $1,000,000 man hear of the fight and must kill Ernie. Later the incredibly gay Bert decides to join and help kill Pepper.

The shootout happens and kills the money guy on the bridge, and later the shootout happens as follows; Pepper dies, the Brickster escapes, Logan disappears.

The biggest boss is the Man. Because he is the Man.


stolen from the local african soicety. they have guns and drugs and too many elephants


One of the many vehicles in GTA:Lego City


The one true way to look awsome, yet still lack any awesomeness. Nothing impresses chicks as much as randomly grabbing your board.


You can kill people with this load of crap, or build it in real life if you are a total nerd!


Stolen from Logan St. Claire; he uses it to shoot them big boys down.


Stolen from the Hospital (it's not like they'll miss it); it can kill them dumb old citizens.

=== === Policía de coches Robo de la Estación de Policía, el 5-0s crean que tú eres uno de ellos! Es decir, a menos que fue testigo de lo robado. O miran al conductor. O se dan cuenta de que no está siguiendo el procedimiento policial. O llame a la radio. Pero tiene una sirena, por lo que prácticamente iguala.

las ruedas son de monster truck

=== === Carretera Guerrero Un vehículo en los laboratorios de Logan, que fue utilizada una vez por Oprah ir una buena Ridin '. tiene 50 lanzallamas

Copter === === Su mejor que todos los otros vehículos, ya que las moscas y puede disparar cualquier cosa con sus misiles. incluso pedos


GTA: Lego Island has a lot of horses, many of which were from the Red Block District of Lego Island. They are popular vehicles among modders.


A piece of shit made from metal that you ride on from the start.


Smallest vehicle, but fastest. You have to complete the game 101 percent, to access this amazing vehicle. Unfortunately, it can talk, and sounds exactly like Jerry Sienfeld.


The most powerful weapondary vehicle eva! This baby can shoot tens of billions of nuclear photon rays that will destroy the world as we know it! It can also backfire and blast back at you, so find a wishing star before you drive it. Bear in mind that this vehicle goes up to 2,000 mph. It is also rumored that Yoda used this vehicle when he lost his lightsaber during his duel with the Emperor dude, so he found this in the garage and blew the sh*t out of Sidious. Also a slang name for a 'Brother'.

Your Mom[edit]

A large vehicle, used as public transport, since it is apparent that everyone gets a turn/ride.

Bus === === Un vehículo más grande, mejor uso de transporte público, más gente va en esto que su mamá. va a 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000km-h ===Your dog=== Giddy-up chiuaua! For cheap cowboy wnnabe's who horses can't stand looking at.

Metal Gear[edit]

A vehicle that gets you the Solid Snake costume. Also lets you skip all the cutscenes in Metal Gear Solid 4 when obtain this. Code for skipping cutscenes : C3000 b1at-35


Ladrillo === === Bash enemigos en la cabeza con esto, aunque todavía inútil. el tiene garras

Desert Eagle .50[edit]

Really powerful, but when you shoot it, you explode into pieces because of recoil.

Grappling Hook[edit]

A beta weapon, though you can use it with cheats. The only downside is a little disadvantage, when you use it the game crashes.


You must put 541 bullets into anyone before they realise you are shooting at them.

Brick 9[edit]

Fires rapid fire bricks at enemies, does not hit target unless facing the other way.

Lazer Cat[edit]

A very powerful weapon, only available in the first two stages due to an outbreak of feline leukemia.a lot of epic fail and win

Lego Shotgun[edit]

Very powerful,win takes five minutes to use pump action,bad takes 2 hoursnot good to reload.shit and only as 5 ammo holy fuck im dead

Lego Shit[edit]

Your character takes a shit and throws it at people. It's only just a brown stud, but you can kill people with this like a molotov. A smelly one.

Mega Lego Cow Launcher[edit]

It can be given to you, so you can kill Ultra Jesus! But you need to do HARD jobs! (E.g. kill 2,500 noobs, give Smith the "Circular Ultra Nuclear Transparent Gun" without geting killed, Kill "Your Mom".)


You use it to sdfgbevfbnggbgb d


Only gun that works like it should, the only bad side is, you can't use it. Only NPCs can use it. And you can't pick it up.


Explodes upon impact.


Best weapon in the game, you are supposed to smack bastards with it and then let them smell it, almost just as handy as a feather.

Home Run Bat[edit]

An infinite ammo weapon. If you press left and A while equipped, it will kill everyone on screen instantly. Including you.

Circular Ultra Nuclear Transparent Gun (C.U.N.T for short)[edit]

Lego City equivalent of GTA's chaingun/minigun


A short range melee weapon that does large amounts of damage. It can also be used for having sex with chickens. I LIKE HOT SEX!

Large Boner[edit]

A big boner your guy gets (Only can get boner at Lego strip club) to hit people down. Because his boner is 1000ft long, it makes a good long ranged club.


You take these out of a old persons mouth, then throw them around. They hurt if you Jerry Springer, but no-one else gets hurt. Remember: If a lego man throws teeth at you, shoot him with an AK 47


In GTA:Lego City, you have quite a selection on foods/drinks.


Good Sides:You eat it, then your health gets replenished. Bad Sides: The Asshole (Uber Epic Character) gets you, and you are redirected to goatse.


Good Sides: When you drink it, your pee percent is fullfilled. So you can pee to make something called "Repel" to repel enemies. Bad Sides


Good Sides: If you have no money, don't worry! You can always drink your pee. Also, you can make "Repel". Bad Sides: You are likely to be get pwned by a minigun-wielding asshole.


Good Sides: The ultimate epic drink! With it, your become invincible for 000.1 milliseconds! Bad Sides: There is a chance (99.9%) that there is a water elemental on the water.


What if everything you ever wanted... came... in... a ROCKET CAN!? PowerThirst! Rocket Edition! With all new flavors like Mananna! Fizzbitch! And Gun! You've had the worst, now try the THIRST! QUENCHER! Side effects include glowing sweat. Downsides: You'll feel like a fighter jet made of biceps, but you won't be able to move without glitching out of the area you are allowed to play in and fucking up the game, causing you to have to uninstall and reinstall. If you are running this on an Xbox or PS2, you're pretty much fucked then.

Breast Milk[edit]

It is what johnny can drink from stacey


You can have pets on this game too!


This pet can be great help when dealing with enemies, but unfortunately it explodes when you buy it. Kissat on perseestä


That hunts cats. But doesnt transforms into a homing-dog. Only walks. (Randomly) And when you are unconcious, it transforms into a chao

Your Mom[edit]

This is the worst pet in the game. It can be found at any street corner, and is purchased for just twelve cents (an hour). It does nothing to your enemies but give them terrible blowjobs and complain about "Her Needs".


The only pet that you can use. But unfortunately, it just whines. But at least it follows you. lacks any ability to do anything right, and usually just camps in one spot during fights


T43 M05T ULT1MAT3 P3T 3VR. 1T 5H00TS 9001 LA53R-PLA5MA FR0M H15 A55, 8ND H15 E7ES K177 U 1N 00000,1 M1L1S3C0NDS. B3W8R3. (You can't use it, because it thinks you are a n00b.)

Your Dad[edit]


Mexican hooker[edit]

You go to mexico then go to the strip club, kidnap her, and bring her back to america. There you go, you have a mexican striping sex slave pet thing.


  • Pizzeria set on fire and Papa escaped. Now home to the Resurrect-Or.
  • Snap Locket's Club night club; run by Snap Locket, Rhoda Hogg and Red Greenbase.
  • Information center building that was pushed off a cliff.
  • Bridge; it gets destroyed at end.
  • The Red Block District: Contains locations such as - Clicket Club, a hospital-cum-nightclub owned by Docta Clicket; Mario's, a stripclub run by Mario; and The Stable, a massage parlour run by horses.
  • Beavis & Butthead's house
  • Pokemon house. Last mission is kill all the pokemon.
  • the porkchop is the most sacred weapon in this game because theres only 15 of them in each level they are the only weapon you can use on people to get rid of them when there shooting at you use them wisely otherwise you will be one yourself and you will be dead*


The songs are on all four stations and are played by DJ. "Lazlo" Jacket. In 2008, at the re-release, the game was shortened to four stations. The stations are

  • Devil 98.2: The rock station. On the game since 2004.
  • Poopie 107: The yucky station. On the game since 2005.
  • W-BOX: The talk station. On the game since 2007.
  • Master Music 99.5: The master station. On the game since late-2008.

Myths/Easter eggs[edit]

  • Some say Santa, the tooth fairy, the sandman, the Easter bunny, humpty dumpty, pop, Cap'n crunch, big foot, nessie, yeti, Elvis and the Great Gatsby guest stared but they hardly appeared.
  • Michael Bolton was going to have a song for it on the radio but never made it.
  • One would be location was Where Santa Claus lives.
  • In the theatre you can watch Un Mouse Andelou, the Spoony Fork Club and Syphillis Symphonies.
  • All characters who were going to appear are in the street race crowd.
  • Barney dies in the shootout.
  • You can buy an invisible car at the dealership
  • Michael Jackson appears in the crowd
  • With one code you could start a riot
  • "Black Tea" subgame involves hot hot hot action (with Mr T). To enter press the Keys `+'Power'+'Esc'+'F1-11' on your hand-jack whilst in love misson.
  • You can actually kill Ultra Jesus by using a Mega Lego Cow Launcher. There is no such weapon in the game and Ultra Jesus will smite your ass if you even look at him funny.
  • Pressing the Z key makes the trees and flowers spin. Total bullshit, because it's a PSP game and PSP doesn't have the Z key, unless you plug a keyboard into it.


Logan Returns?

There are rumors of a sequel with Logan St. Claire returning as a main foe and boss.In it Tommy Versuty comes back as well. It also has Mr. T, SpongeBob, Michael Johnson, Sherlock Holmes, Spoon, Moby Dick, Mel Gibson, Andrew Jackson, Stacey Trome, Watson, Crackle, Piccaso, MacGyver, George Washington, Bert, Bluto and Light Yagami in it.

The Future of Lego Gaming[edit]

Grand Theft Auto: Lego City has been the most successful Lego-Based game since Dance Dance Legolution, making over 400 trillion dollars in profits. This has resulted in a new game market for Lego games, which is rumored to target harcore gamers as well as children new to the gaming world. Possible Future Titles include:

  • Lego Resident Evil
  • Starcraft: The Lego Wars
  • Lego Suit Larry
  • Lego Wars
  • 50 Cent: Legoproof
  • The Curious Incident of the Lego in the Nighttime
  • Halo 42: Legoland (confirmed)

See also[edit]