Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City

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The inexpensive cover art for GTA: Stickman City.

“I got pwned more than the number of kids I molested! ”

~ Michael Jackson on GTA:Stickman City

“I done killed a person!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City

“One of the best games of 2007, a must-buy. Because we HAVE to label every Grand Theft Auto game as “must-buy.””

~ OPS2 on Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City

“No!! My friends and family!! They’re all dead!!”

~ Manic Mailman on the violence in Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City

Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City is a third person shooting/driving game developed by Freakin’ Random! Productions and loosely based on Rockstar Games Grand Theft Auto series. The game has been developed for the shitstation 5, because the simplistic graphics appeared to meet the system’s quality. Gameplay consists of violent carjacking, violent shootings and explosions which result in many stickman’s deaths.

History[edit]

Production of the game began in 2005. It was released in 2007 on a wave of merchandise and cheap tie-ins. The game was received well by many of the PS2 magazines, but multi-platform reviews magazines saw the game as a hell of sorts.

“The graphics are crap, even by Grand Theft Auto standards, and the gameplay is repetitive and relies on violence and swearing too much. We did find the lifespan fairly lengthy but we just cannot except this game for what it is. It’s a pile of crap – GTA fans, stay away from this beast.”

~ GamesMaster Magazine

The game sold 50, 000 copies at launch, much to the disgust of GamesMaster Magazine, hysterical mother groups and the one underage kid in the country who was denied to buy it at his local games store. In the re-launch period, a further 20 million copies were bought. A Freakin’ Random! Productions representative said to a press conference, “we are very proud of the success of Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City. The Pan elefant Games Information board, the Office of Film and Literature Classification, and other censorship committees will let us make Stickman City Stories, which will remained uncensored.” Then he waved his hands in the air, and Jabba the Hutt complained to his stupid henchman, “you fool! he’s using an old Jedi mind trick!” Then the representative was forced to fight the Rancor. The Rancor ripped his legs of, then ate him, then grabbed Jabba the Hutt and ate him too, then ate everyone else in Jabba’s palace. The Rancor then escaped and was thrown into a death match with Godzilla.

Appeal[edit]

A gaudy in-game preveiw. If animated, great. If not, that's what the game is like anyway

Grand Theft Auto: Stickman City appeals to just about every teenager with a sense of street cred, as well as all Adult Swim fans (because the quality of the animation is so great). As mentioned above, hysterical mother groups complained because the tag “Grand Theft” was deemed too unPC and the tag “Auto” seemed too fast. Apart from that, every PS2 gamer bought a copy or at least borrowed it.

Un-Appeal[edit]

The game offended Cubans, Jack Thompson, Uncyclopedians, the English, Russians, Censorship groups, America, Australia, Scotland, all human life, most non-human life, all Planet A inhabitants, stickmen, people with a sense of decency, George W. Bush, Michael Jackson, the Chimera, Comix, Inc. staff members, fans of the Getaway, fans of True Crime, fans of The Simpsons, fans of other crappy animated series, all animal life (except for the goldfish – those communists), MySpace users,YourSpace users, and fans of Need for Weed. The game did not offend dead people or politicians. The politicians wanted to ban it because:

“Guns don’t kill people; games do.”

~ George Bush on having no sense of logic

Review[edit]

  • Graphics: 1/10. “They did little to inspire gameplay.” That’s not really a joke, it’s more of the truth.
  • Lifespan: 5/10. “Sixty-five hours of pure boredom.”
  • Gameplay: 7/10. “Not bad, but I thought that Grand Theft Auto was done with the 2-dimensional game environment?”
  • Other: 0/10. “It made me wish I’d had a spew bucket to spew into. Worst Game Ever. I shall display my disgust on the Internet.

Reviewed by: Jeff Anderson (Comic Book Guy)

Cheats[edit]

There was one good aspect about this and all other Grand Theft Auto games: the cheats!! And oh how these cheat codes rock. Just look.

  • Circle, Square, Left, Right, Triangle, R2, R2, L2

What it does: spawns a better game.

  • Circle, R2, R2, R2, R3, Triangle, Square
The most common screen veiwed in GTA: Stickman City

What it does: causes main character Stickman Tony to do a little jig while singing “Sera, Sera”

  • Square, Square, Square, Square, Square, Square, Circle

What it does: spawns a better city

  • Circle

What it does: Fires bullets from your gun

  • Square, Up, Up, Down, Square, Up

What it does: Gives you infinite health, armor, money, & a nuclear bomb launcher.

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Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | San Andreas Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Antarctica | Somalia
Currently in Production Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore