Grand Theft Auto: Tatooine

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Grand Theft Auto: Tatooine is a game made by Lucasarts and Rockstar Games and is one of many fun video games set in the Star Wars universe. File:GTATatcover2.jpg

The storyline takes place on Tatooine, the home planet of Luke Skywalker. You play as Aralya, a female Twi'Lek who has fallen out of favor amongst her superiors in the Rebellion. She is down on her luck and has just recently managed to really, really, really, really, really, really piss-off Jabba the Hutt, the ruthless gangster that runs Tatooine.

You begin the game at Jabba's Palace, where you are offered a chance to redeem yourself. If you fail, you may be fed to The Rancor.

Characters[edit]

In GTA: Tatooine is sparsely populated, but if the trace is correct, there are many characters that you will meet and interact with (and sometimes kill) throughout the game.

Here are some of the more notable characters:

Aralya[edit]

Swoopjock and all-around tough-girl, she recently took a vacation from the Rebel Alliance and decided to visit Tatooine. Clumsy as she is,[1] she made the mistake of knocking over some shipments belonging to Jabba the Hutt. She now owes him small favors, lest she bed fed to The Rancor, Jabba's rabid dog.

Jabba[edit]

Jabba.

He is a Huttese-speaking Hutt. He is ruthless. He is a crime boss. He is ugly. He looks like a slug. He also rules Tatooine with an iron - albeit slimey - fist.

Step on his tail for some beautiful animation.

He loves roses, candlelit dinners, and long, moonlit walks on the beach (while holding hands).

Press *5937 for Jabba.

Bib Fortuna[edit]

Bib Fortuna has the misfortune of being Jabba's bitch, and believe it, he IS Jabba's bitch.

He will also have missions and tasks he needs handled. Being a lowly person in the employ of Jabba, he has less money to offer you, but his missions are key to the storyline.

Make sure you don't ask him what those funny tentacles on his head are for, you don't want to know (seriously).

File:WildeSaber.jpg

Oscar Wilde[edit]

Oscar Wilde is a wise, old sage who lives in the Jundland Wastes. Rumors have it that he is a Jedi and that he may have owned droids in the past.[2]

Coach Carter[edit]

Coach Carter is the famed ex-coach of the TFL team The Tusken Raiders. He is just looking for a few good men (or, in this case, women) to help him scout new talent for a football new team he is making.

Coach Carter can be found in Anchorhead, the first city you unlock.

He also sells body armor.


Vehicles[edit]

There are many vehicles in GTA: Tatooine, from landspeeders to speederbikes to space-faring vehicles. Here is a quick overview of the most common or important ones:

Speederbike[edit]

Generic bike-vehicle. Kind-of like a scooter. Fun to ride, but don't let your friends find out.

Swoopbike[edit]

The Harley Davidson of Star Wars bikes. Take one of these badboys for a ride and just listen to the engine purr. This baby can take a lot of damage before being destroyed. A mini-game is much like Sega's Road Rash and involves racing against rival gangs on swoopbikes while trying to beat eachother with lightsabers, and primitive chains.

XP-37[edit]

“Ever since the XP-38 came out, they're just not in demand.”

~ Luke Skywalker on the XP-37 landspeeder

The XP-37 is the Dodge Neon of the Star Wars universe: everybody has one and they all suck, and nobody wants theirs anymore. However if you go to Tosche Station and install some power converters in the XP-37's engine, that sucker will move.

They also lack resale value.

The XP-38 landspeeder.

XP-38[edit]

The XP-38 is the elite of landspeeders. Think BMW, Audi, Lexus, or Benz. This landspeeder is the mark of a distinguished person; someone with money.

This is one of the best vehicles in the game. It has both speed and the ability to take a lot of damage before exploding into many small bits, much like The Death Star.

Unfortunately, you can't get XP-38 until you unlock Mos Eisley, the last city in the game.

AT-RT[edit]

All-Terrain Recon Transport.

Two legs and a small, open cockpit. Is fast and manueverable, but leaves you vulnerable to attack by rival gangs.

TIE Fighter[edit]

A small fighter craft capable of short-distance space flight. Lacking in armor, but very fast and maneuverable.

Millenium Falcon[edit]

“What a piece of junk!”

~ Luke Skywalker on Millenium Falcon

Don't even try it, Han Solo is a broke ass, and it's stuck in the spaceport. Sure, it might make the kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, but good luck finding a new battery for this old jalopy. (note- you may have ot fight a wookie to get away with it. so good luck pioleting with no arms)

Minellium Falcon[edit]

Handmade by Judy Garland.

Ford Falcon[edit]

Will take you on many adventures in the outback.

TX-130T Fighter Tank[edit]

A fast and versatile land combat vehicle. Rare, though; one of these is not likely to show up unless you really get on the Empire's bad side. Good luck stealing one without being blown to bits.

Gangs[edit]

Imperials[edit]

“Blast em'!!”

~ Stormtroopers on Pretty much everything

The Empire is a bunch of jackboot-wearing, goose-stepping fascists. They will shoot you on sight if you make enemies of them. Of course, they might also blast you for no reason because they're assholes like that.

Jabba's cronies[edit]

Vile gangsters that work of Jabba. Most are black.

Rebels[edit]

You start the game as friends to them. They are the sworn enemies of The Empire. They believe they are fighting for freedom.[3] They are all rabid conspiracy theorists.

Tusken Raiders[edit]

Tusken Raiders are violent, nomadic "people". Mostly, they'll want you to perform small theft operations for them. If you cross them, you quickly become Bantha Fodder.

Jawa traders[edit]

Jawas buy and sell things.[4] As long as they don't know where it came from, they'll take it. They don't ask questions, either. Good place to ditch unwanted vehicles. Think of them as a roving Pawn Shop.

Reelo's Garbage Haulers[edit]

One of Jabba's rival gangs from out of town, run by a fat, sleazy Rodian named Reelo Baruk. They pretend to be honest garbagemen, but they're really some of the worst gangsters around. Don't let Jabba find out if you help them, though; the punishment is a swift trip to the Rancor.

Locations[edit]

Jabba's Palace[edit]

You start here. The name is self-explanatory. Enjoy some shitty cabaret while waiting to be eaten by a Rancor. Alternatively, eat a roasted Gamorrean Guard sprinkled in Salacious crumbs. Also, many a prostitute can be bought here using the money stolen from Tusken Raiders, or "Sand Niggers."

Anchorhead[edit]

A shitty town on a shitty planet in the middle-of-fucking-nowhere. It sucks. Why this is even in the game is beyond me. Probably because George Lucas enjoys referencing things from previous films and games, so as to keep us all brainwashed and yearning for more.

Tosche Station[edit]

Known for its power-converters, Tosche Station is the second section of the game that you will unlock, and the third section overall.

Mos Espa[edit]

Once a bustling city in the days when Podracing was big, Mos Espa has since decayed into a dark, seedy ghetto. Pimps and hoes abound here, along with the odd swindling Toydarian junk-dealer.

Mos Eisley[edit]

The fifth (and final) section of the game. It is filled with dangers, and has often been referred to as a "wretched hive of scum and villainy". Keep an eye out for Stormtrooper patrols, as well as bounty hunters.

Notes[edit]

  1. Stupid.
  2. But these are only rumors.
  3. However, one man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist.
  4. Such as: droids, droid motivators, droid heads, droids that give head, droid arms, droid legs, droid genitals, vehicles, vehicle parts (but not windshields), weapons, droids, restraining bolts, droids, ship parts, severed heads, babies, severed droid heads, baby droids, bottles of Tylenol, and droids, basically anything that exists on tatooine that isn't nailed down, or weaponized.
Grand Theft Auto
Games
The Lost Games Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob
Grand Theft Auto III era III | San Andreas | San Andreas Stories
Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Antarctica | Somalia
Currently in Production Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago
Non-canonical Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore