Grand Theft Auto: Venice
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Grand Theft Auto: Venice is a 2010 video-game from Rockstar Games for the PC, PS3 and Frontal Lobe Jack that is known for being the first game of the series to accurately recreate the slow, meticulous nautical navigation needed to traverse the complex canals of Venice in Gondolas at what the original press release heralded as "blistering speeds ranging from one, to a full two and a half knots". It was also one of the first games to take advantage of Havok's then recent "gondola physics" engine, after it's surprise appearance in Half-Life 3, to help generate the Gondola Of Death.
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[edit] Storyline
The gamer plays the character Aberto Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano, but most people just call him A.A.A.A.B.G.S.R, or Aberto.
The Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano family is in trouble. Aberto's father, Stefano Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano, the leader of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family, has signed a deal with the Russian Mafia saying that if he gives them 2000 yen (17 United States dollars) they will leave Venice. The Russian Mafia leaders agree.
But then Stefano realises that Aberto has spent his last 2000 yen on a pair of roller-skates. Stefano is angry with Aberto, and sends him to Venice to make back the 2000 yen and pay it to the Russian Mafia.
Armed with a pair of $17 roller-skates, Aberto must do missions for various crime families and pornography stores in the historic city of Venice to earn back the 2000 yen for his father. Will he earn it back before the Russian Mafia decide to close the deal? Will he survive in the crime-ridden streets - er, canals - of Venice? That's all up to you, depending on if you suck at this game or not.
[edit] Characters
Alberto Adriano Amedeo Ambrosi Bernardo Giacomo Sergio Romano: Aberto works for his father, who runs the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family. He usually does work in Rome, but now he has been moved to Venice to work back the money he spent. On his last assignment, he was asked to assassinate Barney the dinosaur when he visited Rome. He killed Barney, although some people say he has come back...
Stefano Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernardo Giacomo Sergio Romano: Stefano is Aberto's father, and is the leader of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family, which is based in Rome. He sends his son on a mission to Venice to make back the 2000 yen he spent on a pair of roller-skates. Stefano lives in Rome, in the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano family mansion just outside the city. This is also where many important members of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family live, as well as Aberto, although he is never home and is often out in Rome doing the jobs his father pays him to do.
Davide Edmondo: The guy with the shortest name in the entire game, Edmondo is the vice-leader of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family. He often stays in the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano family mansion with Stefano, the leader of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family. Aberto's father often gets pissed at Aberto, but this guy acts like a complete ass to him all the time. He especially got pissed at Aberto when Aberto found out that Edmondo had been smuggling garlic eclairs in and out of Rome to make money for himself, but when Aberto told his father about it his father didn't believe him.
Fabiano Giovanni Guido Luigi Orlando: This is one of Aberto's very few friends. He also works for the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family, and often goes on assingments with Aberto. However, on their last assignment they were instructed to assassinate a hypnotist, and the hipnotist managed to hipnotise Fabiano and make him act exactly like a dog before Aberto managed to kill him. Fabiano enjoys eating dog food, going for walks in the park and pissing on the expensive furniture in the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano family mansion. Fabiano is going with Aberto to Venice to help him.
Angela Bianca Edita Fiorenza Gemma Lilian: Angela is Aberto's girlfriend, and she also comes with Aberto and Fabiano to Venice to make back the 2000 yen. It is rumoured that she was once in the Italian And Mexican Alcoholic Federal Agent Guys, or I AM A FAG, the Italian and Mexican version of the FBI, and maybe still is...
Barney the Dinosaur: After Aberto killed him back in 1994, Barney the evil purple dinosaur has risen from the dead and is out for revenge! Barney traces down Aberto in Venice and goes there to kill him, Fabiano and Angela. In one part of the game, you must defeat Barney in a high-speed boat chase around Venice, followed by a fearsome gunbattle.
Sebastiano Ruggero Raimondo Mario Innocenzio: Sebastiano is the owner of a strip club in Venice, but when Barney the dinosaur comes to the city, Sebastiano loses all of his business, since people go to see Barney dance naked rather than his girls dance naked. He then sends you, Fabiano, Angela and some of his girls in a gunfight on the streets - er, canals - of Venice with Barney and some other children's TV characters, like Big Bird and The Wiggles.
Filippo Donatello Corrado Dante Tommaso: This guy runs the Ammunation store in Venice. Go and speak to him to grab a quality weapon for just 60,000 yen! ($500 US)
Dimitri Fedot Gleb Irenus Kiril: The leader of the Russian Mafia. He is currently in Venice, ready to receive the 2000 yen from Stefano. Then the entire Russian Mafia will leave Venice and go back to Morocco, to rename themselves the "Moroccian Mafia".
Matvei Milan Melor Lyov: The vice-leader of the Russian Mafia. This guy is known to often get as close to other men as possible, and touch them whenever he can. He has also been seen on some occasions buying gay porn DVDs every Friday, and looking through Dimitri's underpants drawer...
Chuck Norris: The overall supreme ruler of the universe, doesn't play a part in the game, doesn't have too, he is Chuck Norris and he decides what the fuck is going on. Also makes a fine lemon merangue pie, which he will use to kill people just'cause he is Chuck Norris.
[edit] Street Gangs
Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family: The men from the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano who are based in Venice consists of Aberto, Fabiano, and Angela, although Angela is not an official member of the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family, and a couple of other guys. The Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family is based in Rome.
Leader: Stefano Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano
Clothes: Funny multicoloured balaclava hats, gigantic circle-framed glasses, no shirts and striped underpants
Weapon: Desert Eagle
Sebastiano's Strip Club: Sebastiano Ruggero Raimondo Mario Innocenzio runs a strip club in Venice. The Strip Club gang are sworn enemies of the Various Children's TV Characters gang, and will do anything to destroy them and get their business back.
Leader: Sebastiano Ruggero Raimondo Mario Innocenzio
Clothes: None!
Weapon: Desert Eagle
Various Children's TV Characters: This gang is one of the most dangerous gangs in all of Venice. Their leader, Barney the dinosaur, has been stealing the business of Sebastiano's Strip Club by dancing naked. The Various Children's TV Characters consists of people like Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, The Wiggles and Elmo.
Leader: Barney the dinosaur
Clothes: Look like various children's TV characters
Weapon: MAC-10
Russian Mafia: The Russian Mafia is also one the most dangerous gangs in all of Venice. Once the Adriano Amadeo Ambrosi Bernando Giacomo Sergo Romano crime family pays them 2000 yen, they will leave Venice and go to Morocco, and rename themselves the Moroccian Mafia.
Leader: Dimitri Fedot Gleb Irenus Kiril
Clothes: Boring black suits
Weapon: AK-47
[edit] Weapons
Desert Eagle: The Desert Eagle is the second-best pistol in the game. This pistol is carried by most gang members, and is the gun you start off with. Though a starter weapon, it is real powerful & pretty accurate, but slow firing.
Price: 115,000 yen ($1,000 US)
Raging Bull: A revolver with more firepower & a bit more accuracy than the Desert Eagle. This gun can drop a man in 1 hit, provided he has no armor of course. Slow firing, though.
Price: 145,000 yen ($2,000 US)
MAC-10: Some gang members carry this gun. It is by far the most inaccurate weapon in the game. Don't worry if you are shot at by someone carrying a MAC-10 - the MAC-10 cannot physically hit anyone unless used at close range.
Price: 600,000 yen ($5,000 US)
UZI: An Israeli-made SMG favored by the cops. It fires slower than a MAC-10, but is more accurate & wastes fewer bullets.
Price: 612,000 yen ($5,500 US)
AK-47: By far the most gangsta assault rifle out there, homie G. If you are holding this gun, you will raise 'yo Gangstaness level.
Price: 1,300,000 yen ($12,000 US)
M-16: This isn't an Italian gun, so it's bad. It's not very gangsta, either. Alright, though. Can hit a fast boat from shore and blow it up almost instantly. Also has a high rate of fire (though not as high as a MAC-10 or Gatling Gun) & great firepower.
Price: 2,800,000 yen ($25,000 US)
Shotgun: Some types of shotgun are Italian, so this gun is good. It can raise your Italian language skill by 100 if you are holding it.
Price: 1,150,000 yen ($10,000 US)
SWAT Shotgun: Also an Italian-made shotgun. However, this one fires semi-auto unlike the regular one, making it a favorite of police SWAT teams & such.
Price: 1,400,000 yen ($13,000 US)
M-60: A US-made machine gun. Though pretty slow-firing, it has good accuracy & is powerful.
Price: 3,400,000 yen ($30,000 US)
Gatling Gun: A machine gun with 6 rotating barrels & a wicked high rate of fire, normally mounted on aircraft. Has awesome firepower, but a bit inaccurate & drains ammo fast. Can shred up boats in less than 1 second.
Price: 5,000,000 yen ($45,000 US)
Flamethrower: This isn't technically a weapon - it's a little monkey guy who follows you. If you target an enemy or some guy who you just feel like killing, press fire and the monkey guy will throw a ball of fire at that person. Funnnn!!!
Price: 3,400,000 yen ($30,000 US)
Rocket Launcher: Suprisingly enough, this gun can launch rockets at people. Well, not rockets. The rocket launcher now launches NUCLEAR MISSILES!!! Try not to hit anything within a 500-mile radius of you, otherwise you'll get caught in the nuclear explosion.
Price: 5,700,000 yen ($50,000 US)
Sniper Rifle: This gun can kill anyone in one hit, but watch out if you miss someone. This gun is so longrange that if you miss, the bullet will go all the way around the world and then hit you in the back a second later, killing you instantly.
Price: 3,400,000 yen ($30,000 US)
Grenades: I don't see what's so great about grenades. You throw some little cricket ball-shaped thing. It hits the ground and explodes. Wow. Not impressive. At least it can take out a boat or a group of people.
Price: 600,000 yen ($5,000 US)
Baseball bat: The baseball bat is the second most powerful weapon in the game. It can kill a person in two shots if you hit them, or you can throw it at them and hit them and it will mysteriously fly back into your hand. Also useful for playing baseball.
Price: 8,000,000 yen ($70,000 US)
Dildo: Very useful when having sex. Even more useful for killing people. One hit from the dildo will take anyone down. It is also useful for attracting gay people.
Price: 12,000,000 yen ($100,000 US)
[edit] Vehicles
You won't find any cars here. This is Venice! It's either a boat or walk. No cars, bikes, helicopters or airplanes, only boats and walking! Here is a list of some of the vehicles in the game:
Gondola
Bigger Gondola
Gondola with rocket boosters
'Luxury yacht
Motor boat
Police boat
Jet ski
Boat which is not a jet ski but also not a gondola
H.M.S. Pinafore
Titanic
Aircraft carrier (Without Planes)
U-Boat
FEDKOP Patrol Boat
Ride on faggot
Buoy
Yellow Submarine
[edit] Skills
Walking: Walking is an important skill in the game, since it allows you to walk! You start off by not being able to move at all, and can level it up by walking, so there is no possible way to level this skill up. On very high levels, you can run slightly.
Health: You start the game with no health, so as soon as the opening movie ends you die instantly. You can level up your health skill by not dying.
Driving: At first, you will not be allowed to drive any vehicles. You can level it up by driving around in vehicles more, so it is impossible to level up this skill. At a very high skill level you will be able to drive around in a boat very slowly, so slowly that walking is faster.
Weapons: At first you will not be allowed to pick up a weapon. At a very high skill level, you will be able to pick up a weapon but not shoot it.
Jumping: Jumping is fun, so it's important. At first you will not be allowed to jump. As you level your skill up, you will be able to jump higher, and higher, until you can jump so high that you will fly up into space, where you will die from loss of oxygen.
Money: At first, you will not be allowed any money. On a very high skill level, you will be able to get up to 1 yen per mission.
Italian language skill: Convince the mafia that they are useless without landing yourself with some serious toe misplacement and a scratched nose. Gangstaness level: This means how gangsta yo' are, homie G. You can level it by talking to African-Americans in Venice. At first, they will think you are lame and will try to steal your lunch money. On a higher level, they might respect you slightly and steal less money from you.
[edit] Soundtrack
Three radio stations have been confirmed so far. There will be 9 all together but the rest are yet to be named and confirmed.
V-Metal :
The Hard Rock and Heavy Metal station of Venice. Only 7 songs have been confirmed so far:
Black Sabbath - Iron Man
Slade - Headbanger Face-rip ('Municipal Waste' cover)
Death Angel - Sonic Beatdown
Shakira and Fergie - Its so easy ('Guns n Roses' cover)
Death - Why aren't You Listening
KoRn feat. Timberland - Unleashed at the Alter (acoustic version)
In Flames - System
Venice Moments :
A Talk show Featuring issues goin on in Venice. Lenny Henry and Marco Materazzi are Guests on the show.
Vild and Vurious :
Venices No.1 Rap station. Only 6 songs have been confermed so far:
N.W.A - Straight outta Venice
Dr.Dre - Jedi Mind Tricks ('Yoda' cover)
Kurtis Blow - Way Out West
Snoop Dogg - Slowly We Rot ('Obituary' cover)
Grandmaster Flash - Livin' in a box With a Dream
Akon - For the last time, Im not related to Ne-Yo
[edit] Wanted Level
One star: Cops will come after you in Police Boats. The Police Boat is impossible to outrun and impossible to destroy, so don't try that. Also, there are no Pay'N'Sprays - this is Venice! No cars, and no carwashs! There are also no boatwash places.
Two stars: Cops will now start shooting at you with pistols & sometimes UZIs. Just shoot back at them. Not hard.
Three stars: Ususally in GTA you get helicopters after you on three stars, but this is Venice! No helicopters, no cars, no aeroplanes, just boats, boats and more boats! And this is exactly what happens - the cops just send more boats after you, including patrol boats armed with machine guns. Oh, and the SWAT guys will be gunning for you with UZIs & semi-auto shotguns.
Four stars: Now the gangsta cops come after you, with fully sick gangsta AK-47s, bro. You can't escape them. If you try to escape, you die! If you try to die, you die more.
Five stars: Now the Italian And Mexican Alcoholic Federal Agent Guys, or I AM A FAG agents will come after you, and will try and shoot you with their M16s. By the way, did we mention that if you die once, we have a small explosive device built into the game disk that will destroy the world, and it will explode?
Six stars: Ah, the big number six. Usually that's the most stars you can get in the GTA series. WELL YOU CAN GET SEVEN STARS IN THIS ONE, FOO'!!! Anyway, once you hit this level of notoriousness, the Russian Federal Police Coalition (FEDKOP) will be after you; wielding AK-47s, SWAT shotguns, & M-60s. They also have specially armed & armored patrol boats.
Seven stars: Now the Italian Navy will come after you in aircraft carriers, which they can somehow fit in the narrow canals of Venice. Don't go looking for planes or helicopters on the aircraft carriers - there's just boats on top! Also, the Navy Marines throw dildos at you. The dildo is the most powerful weapon in the game, and it will kill you in one hit.
[edit] Game Environment
As the title suggests, Grand Theft Auto: Venice is set in Venice. Most of the ViVenice is taken up by canals, and by alleyways where hobos live. Basically the only buildings you will find in Venice are churches, but there are also a few porno stores.
[edit] Release Date
Grand Theft Auto: Venice was released on the PC, PS3 and Frontal Lobe Jack in 2010 to critical acclaim which is, of course, was unrelated to Rockstar's immense wealth or their subsequent incorporation into HolyFuckeringRich Inc. in 2012.
[edit] See Also
- Grand Theft Auto
- Grand Theft Auto III
- Grand Theft Auto Lego Island
- Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
- Grand Theft Cosmo
| Grand Theft Auto | ||
| Games | ||
| The Lost Games | Lego Island | Cosmo | Poop City | Tatooine | Television City | Television City 2 | Television City 3 - The Wrath Of Dob | Borat vs Bush | |
| Grand Theft Auto III era | III | San Andreas | Advance | San Andreas Stories | Bikini Bottom Stories | |
| Grand Theft Auto: We're Running Out of Ideas era | New Zealand | Toronto | Hill Valley | Theft Under A Thousand | Sunnyvale Trailer Park | Baghdad | Beirut | New Orleans | Vatican City | Vatican City Stories | Springfield | Australia | Antarctica | Grand Theft Auto: Somalia | |
| Currently in Production | Afghanistan | Baghdad Stories | Germany | Jerusalem | Norway | Philippines | Santiago | Venice | | |
| Non-canonical | Grand Theft Audio | Grand Theft Election: Bush v. Gore | |
