Great Gay Migration of 1812

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Primary Causes[edit]

As a result of the War of 1812, Canadian culture faced massive upheaval, mainly due to the widespread shortages of maple syrup. The Québécois found a scapegoat in Canada's minority population of gay cowboys. Tensions grew increasingly between the two groups, until the gay cowboys were forced to migrate south.

Traditional Iroquois painting of a "bear" just before exploiting a gay Canadian Supercowboy

The Trail of Bears[edit]

Upon entering the Indian Territories of America, many of these helpless, fresh, young studs were taken advantage of by a group of "bears" (an Iroquois term meaning a "physically fit and amiable rugby team mate") who were practicing for that year's Six Nations gay rugby competition. This proved to be too much for some of the fresher cowboys, as most died of hives, or HIV for short.

Consequences of the Migration[edit]

Philanthropist and Grand Dragon Dr. Jimmy Ponce De Leon was one of the first to recognize the seriousness of this mass migration; and with "Big Papa" John Boy Walton he took many of these weary cowboys into his home. Soon, gay cowboys from all over Canada were flocking to Texas, hearing that De Leons's ranch in Dallas had become a gaycowboy sanctuary. Later in 1812, De Leon organized the first Gay Cowboy Convention; and in 1813 he had organized some 20,000 gay cowboys under the Supercowboy Alliance.

See Also[edit]