The Great Petco Blowup of 2005
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The Great Petco Blowup of 2005 happened in Los Chiyorkphigo, New Jersey. It was considered by many historians to be the opening salvo of the Clone Wars.
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[edit] It Hungers
It came to pass that one day one of the Emergency Aerial Meat Retrieval units of PETA was late in their mission to feed the ravenous maw of Oprah Winfrey, their hideous queen. Like a long-sleeping volcano, like Grendel's Mother, or like Great Cthulhu rising from the sea, Oprah rose from her beef jerky-filled bed in order to smite her errant minions.
[edit] Explosion
The explosion was caused when Oprah Winfrey saw one of her bastardised clones from the Island of L'aard. She grew enraged and breathed fire on the clone using her blood as fuel. Due to the unique combination of fire and morning breath the clone spontaneously combusted, causing a massive explosion that directly killed several people in the vicinity. The earthquake-like aftershock claimed the rest of Los Chiyorkphigo, rendering it a ghost town. Soon after 305,329 people rose from the dead and were all renamed Oprah Harpo, for truly it is said that their salvation came from the sainted Marx Brother himself.
[edit] Cover-up
Oprah claimed the clone tried to force Celebrex down her throat and give her an extremely inappropriate big wet kiss on the cheek so, in self defence, she set it on fire with a cigarette lighter and her oil-blood(and an earthquake just happened to coincidently occur at the same time). Very few believe, or are particularly interested in, this claim. Like anyone would want to trust Oprah.
[edit] Heroes of the Day
In the aftermath of the explosion, who was there to save all the little fuzzy buddies displaced by Oprah's wrath? None other than local cat wrangler and part-time wrestler Big Tony Dukes! His hand would later be seen on the nightly news, earning him notoriety all over town...
[edit] Revenge
Now in 2007, Oprah is on the loose again. Some say she wants revenge on the people who dont "trust her". On the path to the Empire State building. So if you see her in NY, take percautions.
