Great Pumpkin

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The Great Pumpkin is an overgrowned, notorious, mutant pumpkin that is worshipped by the Peanuts gang. He is known for his crimes such as The Great Woodstock Sacrifice. He also rapes other pumpkins.

Crimes[edit]

  • The Great Woodstock Sacrifice
  • Raping other pumpkins
  • Being worshipped by minors
  • Creating an army of Japanese men sex toys
  • Giving away condoms and pornography to little boys and girls on Halloween
  • Being a member of the Ku Klux Klan
  • Being a member of Al Qaeda
  • Selling the Peanuts gang to Bill Gates who sold it back for half as much money
  • Tried to assassinate George W. Bush
  • Being a homosexual hippy
  • Triing to import crack to Africa
  • Being on crack

What to do When Encountering the Great Pumpkin[edit]

  • Wear 50 different condoms
  • Don't wear a pumpkin suit
  • Don't dress up as Michael Jackson
  • Don't be nude
  • Don't go near him
  • Run away screaming