Greek language

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“You can stop messing with me now. Seriously. This isn't funny. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Greek

Greek is mostly spoken by:

• Aristagoras
• Aristokles
• Aristotle
• Aristandros
• Ari+0-2x

But, new experiments with hairy people have shown otherwise.

Contents 1 Greek, a preface 2 The Aphabet 3 Geek Greek 4 Neo-Greek 5 Γκρίκλις(Greeklish[from English])

[edit] Greek, a preface

In Greek, Greek is spelled ελληνικά and in capital words ΕΛΛΗΝΙΚΑ, something that has always confused us non-Grecians. Greeks decided to completely misspell the name of their language, so they could piss the Romans off. If the Roman invaders ever learned the language of Hellenia, then all the pixies would come and kill the Greeks. So, the Greeks, with this method, confused the Romans, until the Romans fell into their own vomitariums.

It has been suggested by modern scholars, mainly people, that, in fact, no one actually speaks the so-called Greek Language. Experts agree, no one could possibly make up something this stupid and not implode from sheer idiocy midway through conceiving such an unintelligible, broken dialect. Instead, the Greek Language was designed, as are most things of Greek origin, to irritate and confuse American Tourists. This has freed the Greeks from having to provide directions to the British Museum, as well as answer questions such as:
"How do I pronounce the word Gyro?"
"Why do you all shave your chests?"
and "That's not really a language, is it?"

[edit] The Aphabet

The word alphabet is a Greek word. Alphabet = Αλφαβητο.(But it's greek to me!)

The alphabet goes, sung in tune with twinkle twinkle little star (for it is the most popular pop song in most post-apocalyptic Greece):

Ελληνικά Λεττερ (English Equivalent)

Άλφα (Alpha Centauri)

Βήτα (Beta Rays)

Γάμμα (Ray's Gamma)

Δέλτα (Delta of the Nile)

Έψιλον (Epsilon like a dead person)

Ζήτα (most commonly found as Ζήνα)

Ήτα (Cheet-argh)

8ita (8 is pronounced θ)

Iώτα (Yogourt-a)

Kάπα (When Kappa met Κάππα)

Λαμδα (Lamb's Baaaa)

Mί (The 1st of the three triplets: Me)

Νί (The 2nd of the three triplets: Knee)

Ξί (The 3rd of the three triplets: Xee)

Oμικρον (Όμικρον Literally means: 'Small O')

Πί (Pronouced 'pie' or 'pee' or '3.14')

Ρο (--Ro--wling Pin)

Σίγμα (Also a TV station)

Tαφ (Also a cow with testicles)

Υψιλον (Oopsiedaisies!)

Φι (Feeeeeee)

Xι (Hee-hee-hee)

Ψι (Psi-beams from my brain)

Ωμέγα (Ωμέγα Literally means: 'Big O')

[edit] Geek Greek

Many people think that Greek is the language of Geeks. Well done to everyone who said that! The people of ancient Geece did, in fact, speak Greek, although they laced the language with references to obscure memes, such as base ownership, the human-robot-stairs relationship, and missing steps involved in profitting from a given plan.

to CheckGeek
 if (TypeHumanYou = Geek ; display dialog "You can understand this" buttons "OK" ; quit )
 if (PossibleUnderstandThis = Yes ; Make $howInfo 1 ; quit )
 if ($howInfo = 1 ; ShowInfo ; quit )
end

to ShowInfo
 print [Greek is a language used by Geeks. This is an example of Greek.]
 continue1
end

This is an example of Greek.

to continue1
 print [$omething]
end

[edit] Neo-Greek

The Neo-Greek language is a cross between crap and death. Most linguists are still debating this. Some say that crap = death so perhaps a cross between crap and death would be crap times death or crap squared or crap x death so something that is perpendicular to both ideas. As I said, it's undecided.

Neo-Greek is spoken by people who are stuck in the late nineties, and pretend they have very large testicles. The fact of the matter is, they don't! Many Neo-Greek speakers have stopped talking Neo-Greek because they have realised that they have no testicles. Or brains.

The Neo-Greek people who inhabits the big universities are often forms clubs with Greek alphabets. These people are also called 'Geeks.' Stay away from them !

The Neo-Greek alphabet goes å∫ç∂Eƒ©i^∆x¬µ~øπœ®ß†u√∑≈¥Ω. άσε μας μωρέ

[edit] Γκρίκλις(Greeklish[from English])

Greeklish is a language of teenagers who got bored changing the automatic language in their computer and started writing in greek with english characters. Greeklish started to change (like a mutant) and became a shitty-language whick you can't understand unless you are an expert(or a greek n00b). They have made their words shorter because their also bored writing. For example:

• mlk-->means "μαλάκας" (jerk,stupid,jackass)
• brm-->means "βαριέμαι' (I'm bored)
• gtp-->means "για τον πούτσο" (for the dick,commonly used to express something useless)
• tpt-->means "τίποτα" (nothing)

an many more...