Greenpeace

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“Man, these people are just too Hardcore you know? I mean, I have the death warrant in five star systems and I wake up screaming every night because I helped create this, this, Monster of a terrorist organization!.”

~ Paul Watson on Greenpeace

“If only these people would accept solid new agey logic, they would be so much better. Seriously”

~ Patrick Moore on Greenpeace

“Years and years of planning. Thousands killed. And then these bastards to a peaceful demonstration and suddenly we're old news! I mean come on infidels, we are so much more terroristy than them! Wait... don't tell anyone I said that.”

~ Osama bin Laden on Greenpeace

“Instead of complaining that computers contain toxic materials, just stop eating computers. Computers are not intended for human consumption.”

~ Captain Obvious on Greenpeace

“if i could, i would spit on their website. how much marine deisel does the arctic sunrise burn per day, just out of curiosity?”

~ A freethinker on Greenpiss

“...My god, have you smelt these people?”

~ patrick stewart on Greenpeace

“Fuck Off”

~ Everyone except Greenpeace on Greenpeace

Greenpeace is an organization created to waste the worlds ever decreasing natural resources, in the form of animals and untainted natural flora, with the complete and utter annihilation of the human race. Going back to nature and running around naked eating bananas is simply not enough; the nuclear option is the only option they will consider.

Founded in the year of our lord BC1972, the fledgling Greenpeace foundation attempted their first act of international terrorism in that same year, in which they attempted to gain nuclear weapons being tested by the French in French Polynesia. Recently unclassified reports of the operation from SDECE state that the Greenpeace members acted like normal protesters up until their attack on the military facility in which the nuclear weapons were kept. Only through the swift intervention of the SDECE Special Attack unit were the brutal warriors of Nature stopped from enacting a nuclear holocaust on the human race.

“Oui, it was horrible! They fought like bears, moved like tigers, shreaked like monkeys, it was terrifying, even before they brought out the guns. If it hadn't been for the fact they ran out of ammo, I don't know what would have happened”

~ Julier Coustou, The Only survivor of the 67 men team that thwarted the Greenpeace militants

The French government, seeing as they could barely stop the Greenpeace warriors even with their elite troops, swiftly scrapped their nuclear program in the area. Greenpeace, seeing that there was no chance of gaining the weapons using brute force, claimed that they had been attempting to stop the testing of the nuclear weapons in the area.

In the past Greenpeace has raised media attention over a large variety of really really heavy issues including but not limited to:

• Nuclear proliferation, life started with a big bang, will it end the same way?
• Protesting the rampant Moby Dick-like incidences
• Depriving everyone of the benefits of Global Warming such as increased arable land.
• Sustainable energy, and other obvious solutions.
• Growing endangered species list; only a few trillion animals left to kill!

[edit] Goals

Greenpeace are mainly concentrated on:

• Speeding the process of Nuclear War, so they can annoy larger, more mutated animals
• Making any animal's life an absolute and utter misery
• Holding a world record for the 'Most Un-ecofriendly organization'.
• Ultimately dictating the world, making everyone run cars on Whale blood and animal poo.

[edit] Rallies

Basically, most Greenpeace rallies usually involve yelling at those damned "corporations" because what they've done to the environment, and frankly, if you've gone to a Greenpeace rally, you have-- in all likelihood, killed yourself. What, you may ask, does this accomplish? Well, let's ask those damned corporations, sitting up there in their chairs with their cans of aerosol, polluting and whatnot. Usually rallies last a whole 2-3 hours before the ralliers get tired of being hit with garbage and booed, which occurs more often that you can imagine (12 times). Greenpeace talks have also been noted to be of a different language, of which usual humans with IQ of over 50 will not be able to understand, while those falling below the mark do. Hence, it has been made impossible for everyone to get the tree-huggers message. An Albanian scientist recently discovered that members of greenpeace actually originated from the far woods of the Amazon, wearing leaves for shoes and eat grass to stay alive.

[edit] Notable Advertising Campaigns

Greenpeace are known for holding very odd advertising campaigns. Their most notable campaign was 'Save The Polar Bears Or We'll Kill Em' All'. This campaign included some hippies on weed attempting to poison all polar bears unless they got a certain amount of followers. This failed epically, mainly due to the fact that all Greenpeace activists/Dick Heads attempted to get high on the poison themselves.