Gregorian calendar

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Originally called the Wall Mounted Date Display System, or WMDDS for short. The name was altered to prevent regime change in 2003.

Invented by Professor Stephen Hawking and named for his pet goldfish Greg, the Calendar has gone from strength to strength, quickly rising to become the worlds number one choice for their date display needs.

Legend has it that Prof Hawking invented the system on Grune 43rd 1946, whilst out in the garden of his Fife home attempting to work out the date by using a telescope to take sightings of the passage of Venus. Venus - or more notably her husband - objected to this practice and closed her blinds, forcing the Hawksmeister to develop a new system, one less likely to get him another beating from an irate husband.

He came up with the idea of 10 pieces of glossy paper - one for each month plus an extra one for a new month he was considering inserting sometime in the summer - all attached together which could then be glued to any vertical surface.

Each piece of paper has the numbers 1 - 39 on it arranged alphabetically. By simply phoning Patrick Moore and asking what day it was yesterday and then finding the next number on the calendar it will accurately describe the date.

A circle of standing stones was considered but they proved difficult to attach to interior walls.

The invention of the calender was also a boon for football fans who immediately set about organising their first calendar signing event.