Grey's Anatomy

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“Doctor Cox, did you know that Grey's Anatomy is almost exactly the same as our lives.”

~ J.D. some guy lying about JD's words

“I suppose if I were less of a doctor, I too would work over at Seattle Grace”

~ J.D. on incompetence

“Don't worry, this is a totally sanitary environment to do surgery in, assuming it's not a Tuesday... or a Thursday... or a Friday. Or even a Saturday, or Sunday... That be our rampant fuck days.”

~ Izzy Stevens on Seattle Grace

Grey's Anatomy, also known as Gray's Anatomy, is an hour-long softcore pornography program (and rip-off of Scrubs and ER) and heroin substitute, which catalogs the fine anatomies of nurses and doctors working in the medical field today. In the steamy hospital we all wish we could visit the produces focus weekly on singular body parts or greater areas of the anatomy, showcasing, for instance in the pilot episode "Nurses' Coin Purses," what we're all missing by staying healthy.

The show's producers used a "blind-casting" technique, resulting in a racially diverse cast. All roles for Grey’s Anatomy are cast without the characters' races being pre-specified, in keeping with creator Shonda Rhimes's vision of diversity. Unfortunately, this has no affect on ratings or even the median poll opinion of the viewer for that matter. Apparently nobody fucking cares.

Side effects of habitual use of "Grey's" may include nausea, inability to stop listening to 'How to Save a Life', by the Fray, and a severe reduction in testosterone levels. It is the "best" show "ever".


It's what would happen if you put "General Hospital," Scrubs(without the unfunny comedy and chocolate bears), and "ER" in a blender (let sit 2 hours; season for taste).


Created by Shonda Rhimes, it follows the travails and endless whining of the title character, Dr. Meredith Grey (haha - get the pun!), a surgical intern at the Horniest Hospital in the West, Seattle Grace. There, while ostensibly learning the skills necessary to become a surgeon, she begins nailing her boss, Dr. Derek "McDreamy" Shepherd, then breaking up with her boss because he turned out to be married to someone way hotter, then pining after the adulterous ass for what seems like several eons while he makes a half-assed attempt to reconnect with his wife. In the meantime, she and her colleagues have a great deal of irresponsible sex while violating most of the canons of medical ethics.


The show is often criticized by medical junkies worldwide for its exaggeration of the fraternization and hotness of surgeons, as well as the presence of random music and earthquakes appearing in emergencies.

Plot Basis[edit]

The plot of this show may seem complex, but it's more simple than it looks. First there's a tragedy, then the "doctors" have intercourse, then there's another more tragic tragedy, then more intercourse, then they have intercourse during a tragedy, then they rip off Scrubs and ER, then the cycle repeats, usually with hotter, hornier intercourse and unrealistic tragedies that would never repeatedly happen to a real hospital. But remember, we're at Seattle Grace. Then the star of the show leaves for some stupid spinoff that no one watches and has nothing to do with the original show.

A diagram of all the doctors/surgeons and who they all had intercourse with cannot be made because no writing surface is large enough. In addition, the government has given the show an XXX rating for all the sexual interactions that occur, which means that the 12 year old girls who watch the show and have no idea why the adults are wrestling in bed, can't watch anymore.


There aren't any real characters on Grey's Anatomy. It is actually a show on the Discovery Channel about the human body.

Dr. Meredith Grey[edit]

Whiny crazy bitch and self confessed narcissist with tendencies to cry during intercourse, give men perpetual boners, squint pensively as she delivers pseudo-profound lisping voice-overs (a symptom of her schizophrenia ). One of her skanky drunken one night stands was Dr. Derek Shepherd, a brilliant brain surgeon, temped away from his kickass wife Addison because Meredith's hair smells like lavender and her brain smells like tequila. Meredith's mom is losing her mind and her dad is now a teacher who lives with Ricky from My So-Called Life. In Season Three, she finally decided to stop the puppies crying and got with McDreamy, but only after yet another seven episodes of total bullshit which involved the dude that played Robin in two really bad Batman Movies.

Dr. Harold Shipman[edit]

The bearded hunk with an unhealthy, Thora Hird fixation.

Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens[edit]

White-trash-turned-underwear-model-turned-medical-doctor-turned-Burger-King-cashier, Izzie does retarded things with good intentions. She fell in love with sickly Denny. Denny was in desperate need of a donor heart, so Izzie pursued the most rational course of action and went completely insane. To try to make Denny healthy again, she purposely made Denny extremely ill, endangering his life so badly that he had little chance of surviving even if he had the donor heart, which he didn't. This made him a priority for donation. Denny received her crazy stolen heart, but his body rejected her evil. She cried, then quit the intern program to work at Burger King, where she can eat Whoppers and have a heart attack to be with Denny. Izzie also has six kids from her trailer park days, each from a different father. Despite all common sense and medical practice, not to mention possibly the express will of the Almighty, Izzie is again practicing medicine at Seattle Grace, rather than, I don't know, cooling her ass in a jail cell waiting to be tried for manslaughter. She has like $8 million but won't cash it because of guilt or some shit like that. In season three upgraded to White-trash-turned-underwear-model-turned-medical-doctor-turned-Burger-King-cashier-home-wrecker by sleeping with George, in the meanwhile completely emasculating the un-emasculate-able Alex Karev by being the only girl to break his gold surrounded by iron heart. Izzie habitually masturbates in her emotional-post-manslaughter-psycho-bitch while imagining having zombie sex with her now zombie-undead fiance.

Dr. George O'Malley[edit]

Puppy dog who had a mad crush on Meredith until she cried while she was raping him. George dated Dr. Callie Torres, Seattle Grace's star linebacker. George does not realise he is gay. One of the primary rules of dating is that if she is more manly than you it wont work. George is from a family of Northwestern rednecks and has many unfortunate haircuts. Nurse Olivia gave him 15 STDs when they dated in the first season, 7 of which she contracted from Dr. Alex Karev. George is best man buddies with the sexy Dr. Preston Burke. Meredith's va-jay-jay ate his soul during a brief sexual experience. Now he sits in the on-call room swigging whiskey and cursing the heartless Deity that condemned him to this antiseptic Gulag. In Season 3 he has an affair with Izzie. Next Season will see him go after Christina and Bailey and in season 5 he will become gay and go after McDreamy, McSteamy, and the Chief and Alex. Not Burke because it already happened when he lived with him and Christina, the real reason she wanted him gone being thus revealed.

Dr. Alex Karev[edit]

Hunky, boorish Alex is a sex machine. Pre-teen girls wish they could date and kiss him, while he passes on syphilis, gonorrhea and herpes to all the nurses he seduces. He had a brief fling with Izzie, but she caught him giving Nurse Olivia chlamydia. They got back together but Izzie, breaking another home apart, leaves him for Denny, a creepy almost dead guy. Alex obviously still loves her but takes out his frustration with Dr. Addison Shepherd who wants to kill him with sick babies and with another almost dead patient Jane Doe/Ava/Rebecca Pope/Identity Crisis. Despite his chlamydorrhea, he and Izzie will hopefully get back together after he murders George for being such an ugly cowardly liar.

Dr. Cristina Yang[edit]

Cristina is Asian, so she's good at math, violin and her family owns a dry cleaners. In keeping with the strict interracial relations rules of American entertainment she dates the hottest black man at Seattle Grace, Dr. Preston Burke, son of the only other black man on the show. She has no heart, no neck, but her lips can suck the peel off of a banana. While she was in her Stanford years, she screwed her viagra dependent professor repeatedly, dated him for 4 years, and when he proposed to her, she bitched-slapped him 12 times before dumping him. Next season she is expected to continue her inappropriate romances by going after viagra dependent black man and known adulterer, chief Webber.

Dr. Preston Burke[edit]

Burke is a hard ass to all his intern friends except T.R. George O'malley, whom he attempts to recreat the J.D. and Turk relationship with (again, stealing from Scrubs). He dates Cristina, because she's competitve and he gets his dry cleaning done for free. Preston likes jazz (duh, he's black), long walks on the beach, pina colada, cooking, hot tubs and making music with manfriend Dr. George O'Malley. In the process of being involved in Izzie's crazy-ass heart-stealing operation, he is shot and suffers a tremor in his right hand. Naturally, he continues operating on dozens of people despite the serious risk this poses, but is found out and was then out of the OR. His hand is planning to get its revenge on Izzie (sometime in February sweeps - Cynthia Nixon to guest star). Eventually (and regrettably without revenge), Burke's hand is operated on. He returns to being a leading finger jockey until he did, did not, did--okay, maybe called T.R. O'malley a faggot after refusing to return his guy love (see J.D. and Turk). After doing so, he leaves the talentless, softcore black(pun)hole that is Seattle Grace and goes on to the hardcore stuff.

Dr. Derek "WetDreamy" Shepherd[edit]

McDreamy McFucked McMeredith McGrey before they Mcrealized Mcshe was his Mcintern, Mche was her Mcboss and his wife McAddison was going to kick the Mcshit out of their Mcwhiny asses. McDerek likes to make goo-goo eyes at McMeredith, smell her Mcbrain and Mchair fumes, Mcbooty-call her and go on long walks with her Mcdog. The McDoc gave McAddison poison ivy on her Mcva-jay-jay, ordered by McMeredith's vodka brain fumes. Turned on by McDoc's death, McDerek and McMeredith had Mcsex in an exam room; he likes it in the McAss on the McHospital bed. McManWhore.

Dr. Addison "McHot" Forbes Montgomery[edit]

Addison gave the smackdown to husband Derek and his truly heinous mistress Meredith on a daily basis during season 2. She is ridiculously brilliant and a STUNNAAA and saves babies, puppies and rainbows to make the world a better place. In her free time, she enjoys baking cakes out of sunshine, smiles and the laughter of children. Doc, Derek and Meredith's satanic dog, led Addison to pee in the great outdoors, where she got a rash of poison oak on her va-jay-jay. Addison had an affair with Dr. Mark 'McSteamy' Sloan, a super hot New York surgeon, and it broke up her marriage to the McDreamy. She slept with Alex Karev but he was a silly boy. The AddisonTM recently enjoyed a holiday in Santa Monica, where a marginally attractive witch doctor used her for a voodoo doll and kissed her "with tongue". Is also known as McHot. With good reason.

Dr. Miranda "The Nazi" Bailey[edit]

The Nazi wants you to do your goddamn rounds now! Why the fuck are you still sitting there reading this shit? GO NOW! NOW NOW NOW NOW! Dr. Miranda "The Nazi" Bailey now orders that she be called Supreme Ruler of All Nazis in the world for saving a comrade's life. She left later when she realized that all Nazi's are actually white and white people don't like fried chicken, watermelon, or Kool-Aid! Enraged, the Supreme Ruler of All Nazis is forming her own group to counter the crazy crackers who don't abide by her Suprem Rule! The group is called "Never Add Z's In Acronyms", or Nazia for short. One day the Supreme Ruler will force you to obey, until then, I suggest you get to your rounds...It's fucking stupid. Everywhere she is called Nazi when just in season one some of the characters called llike that never anymore.

Dr. Calliope Iphigenia Torres[edit]

Seattle Grace's chief orthopedic surgeon and star linebacker, Callie ran for 234 yards and three ankle replacements in the 2004-05 season. Got her job when she devoured the previous orthopedic surgeon whole. Dated George briefly, but though she is proficient at healing broken bones, no medical skill is sufficient to heal the shit Meredith busted with her black sex magic.


Chief is obsessed with Meredith's crazy mom who is now dead thanks to McDreamy. Yes, yes he is one of the MAIN characters but why then there is no story about him its a big mistery.

Recurring Characters[edit]

Dr. Mark "McSteamy" Sloan[edit]

If George is made of sugar, spice and everything nice, McSteamy is made of whiskey, leather and flavored condoms. Addison's paramour, he induces orgasms at 50 yards. Although he can copulate with any and all women, he is intent on Addison, and is expected to return to Seattle to claim her. Sloan Pretty much hits on anything that has the XX chromosome. He even has moments of romantic deep gazing into eyes with men that he is about to turn into ladies. He is mmmmmmmmm!

Burke's Crazy Hand[edit]

Tremors. Especially around chickens and surgery and surgery on chickens. Measures a 8.5 on the Richter scale while operating on your bleeding heart. BCH has a grand scheme to avenge Denny's murder by Izzie, executed with a bomb that will screech Denny's name throughout the hospital until Izzie cannot take it anymore and she cash her damn million dollar check.

Nurse Olivia[edit]

In the same way the New Jersey Turnpike carries cars from one place to another, Nurse Olivia carries syphilis from one medical professional to another. Despite this, she remains on the job, because she's reasonably competent, and because the CDC wants her available for further study.

Tucker Jones[edit]

Dr. Bailey's husband. Doesn't talk, because he's too busy DOING WHAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO, UNLIKE YOU, WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING YOUR ROUNDS!

Dr. Ellis Grey[edit]

Meredith's bitter, spiteful mom, Ellis was a star general surgeon, which was a cover for her real occupation as a vampire. Like the praying mantis, she devoured Meredith's father after they conceived. She kept Meredith locked in a crawlspace for most of her childhood, feeding her on fish heads - this may explain Meredith's emotional problems, (though it doesn't excuse the voiceovers). In a clear case of karmic payback, she is now slowly decaying with Alzheimer's. Wait for it... Wait for it... And now she's dead!

Adele Webber[edit]

Chief's wife. Owns his balls. Keeps them in a jar on her nightstand. Lets him look at it when he has been good. Recently left the chief, throwing his balls out the second story window. Even though she is 55 years old, she got knocked up by Richard somehow and went for a check-up and collasped in the bathroom floor of the hospital while Richard was on the other side of the door bitching to Adele. Richard suspects something after 45 minutes of waiting for her to respond and goes into the ladies restroom (OH NO!) and find Adele laying there with blood rushing out of her va-jay-jay. It turns out she was not on her period but her baby died. Because of the death, Richard and Adele hook-up... again.

Dr. Erica Hahn[edit]

A white she-devil, Hahn is Burke's chief rival - the heart Izzie stole was meant for one of her patients. She was set to join the cast, but the powers that be reconsidered when she refused to "put the fucking lotion in the basket."

Bomb Squad Guy[edit]

Kyle Chandler. Hawt. Blew up. Stupid Shonda Rhimes.

Haunts the halls of Seattle Grace, will receive first major storyline in Season 5 as the poltergeist who causes a series of injuries in the hospital- two parter "event".

Ronald McDonald[edit]


Soundtrack lyrics[edit]


These are the full-song lyrics:
Fly, fly into a rocket,
cos ya need to go go go go goo.
Let's start closing in for the rocket,
cos ya need to go go go go goo.

Tick tock ready for the sci-fi,
tick tock, ready to go go goo.
Tick tock ready for the sci-fi,
tick tock, ready to go go goo.

Go, goo, fly into my heart,
and be crushed.
Uh, oh. Suppose you'll never-ever-ever-never know.

Nobody knows where we might finish up,
Nobody nose.
Nobody knows where we might fall asleep,
Nobody nose.

Nobody knows where we might finish up,
Nobody nose.
Nobody knows where we might fall asleep,
Nobody nose.

Tick tock toe has been stubbed (you can help Uncyclopedia by medicating it),
and know this always does seem true.
Sticks and stones do shift through ya,
but words will always hurt ya.

[disco solo]

don't want to be a drunk idiot
living in the this full nation ran by a drunk idiot
can you hear the sounds of wrecks
the drunk idiot running this nation.

welcome to the drunk nation
all across kansas
where everything is mest up
forget the dreams of tomorrow.

we're the nation in america
well maybe i'm drunk america
don't the rest of this song
cauz it makez sense.

the point to the this song
is meant to be sang
don't want a record deal
becauz i suck at singing.

What to Look For Season Six[edit]

Rumors say(and some are proven to be true) that in Season Six there will be a three-parter revolving around Meredith's and McDreamy's wedding,mostly concerning of Meredith organising it and choosing between Cristina and George for her maid of honor.There is also speculation that Izzie will die of brain cancer,so actress Katherine Heigl could finally turn to what she does best-acting on B-grade romantic comedies.Bailey and the Chief will hook up in a 4 episode fling,and which will end in Bailey dumping the Chief,thus making him leave Seattle (dis)Grace,leaving Bailey as chief of meidicine(making Nazia go in full operation).Another rumor is that we will be introduced to a new character(again),this time a hot hypochondriac played by Jessica Alba,and who will end up with basically every male character in the show(including Callie,becuase she's a lesbian).

Grey's Anatomy spinoff[edit]

There is going to be a spinoff of Grey's Anatomy, going to be called Grey's Vasectomy. The main character is NOT MEREDITH MWAHAHHA! it is....MERRYDICK and Dr. McDICKME! And of course, the beginning with start with Dr. McDICKME giving Ms. MERRYDICK a vaginal examination, which she finds turning on. And then when Izzie cuts Denny FUCKIT's LVAD she will laugh like how she did in the bomb episode where everything blows up. ORIGINALITY IS THE KEY HERE!


While filming a scene involving Burke's Crazy Hand, Isiah Washington and the Crazy hand were possessed by Wayne Brady and wanted to choke a bitch. That bitch was Patrick Dempsey, who was defending the honor of T.R. Knight, who was revealed to be McGay. Knight is from Minneapolis, so he only knows how to fight in snow and lakes. His boyfriend plays one of Calista Flockhart's brothers on Brothers and Sisters.


Major (Hottie) Owen Hunt a.k.a. McPutsHisWangInDoctorYang

Medical Party Time[edit]

The superhero also known as Kate Walsh/Addison will soon have her own spin-off show, Medical Party Time. Viewers can watch her perform drunken surgeries on pregnant women, and continue to have sex with inappropriate men in her 'Private Practices.'

Gay's Anatomy[edit]

This the reference to what gays are made up of the anatomy of them. They enjoy watching hostpital dramas with male nurses and a chineese lady that under stands them.........