Greyhound racing

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“Michael Vick should play for the Phoenix Cardinals instead of the Eagles”

~ Tamia
A "photo finish" at a Greyhound race

Greyhound racing is like the horse racing from olden times, except that it's greyhounds, rather than horses, that race around the track for the entertainment of gamblers and lovers of moving objects. As greyhounds aren't self-motivated, a fake rabbit acts as the bait to get the greyhounds to go around the track. As the supply of micro-midgets is very limited, greyhound races usually don't have jockeys as riders/enforcers.

Greyhound racing used to be a fringe activity. However, since the advent of Mad Cow Disease (resulting in the killing of every cow on the planet and the consequent deployment of every available horse exclusively for the food sector), Greyhound racing is now all the rage. Out of solidarity with her People, even Queen Elizabeth has switched over to Greyhound racing.

Greyhounds race in two weight classes:

  • Lightweight
  • Heavyweight
Greyhound (Lightweight)

Greyhounds command a very high price on the market, as there is strong competition from polo players who need greyhound polo animals.

The heavyweight greyhounds are particularly sought after by polo players.

Greyhound (Heavyweight)











See Also[edit]