Guantanamo Baywatch
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“I will steal your television, then kill you with a bat, then i will watch Guantanamo Baywatch and afterwards fornicate with your wife”
~ Oscar Wilde on Guantanamo Baywatch
“I am a pube ”
~ David Hasslehoff on Guantanamo Baywatch
Originally conceived by a wombat on vacation in the Australian Outback, this groundbreaking series, starring the late Dr. David Hasslehoff (Famous for being the first man ever to eat his own legs in a live television broadcast and then miraculously grow them back like some kind of human lizard hybrid) provided pornographic insight into the dangers of wearing nothing but a pair of orange pants in the most notorious prison on the planet. Set alongside some of the most dangerous, perverted and vile villains on the planet, it is needless to say Hasslehoff gets more than a heroic dose of severe buggery, suffering various often ingenious forms of sexual humilation during each of the 260 episodes (spread out over 13 series and 4 years).
Unfortunately, this series was cut short at the start of the 14th series as a result of an unfortunate incident involving 2 of the inmates feeding small mammals up a tube inserted into Hasslehoff's anus. The star's head then unexpectedly imploded in to his own scrotum, despite the star's frantic attempts to chew his way through his own nutsack, he was proclaimed dead within half an hour of the act. With no willing volunteers available to replace Hasslehoff, the series was forced to end abruptly, and the incomplete half-hour episode of Hasslehoff's futile attempts to gnaw his way through his own scrotum released on special Christmas edition dvd in honour of the late actor's contributions to the performing arts. RIP David Siegfried Björgólfur Ulrich Fürchtegott Rupprecht Wolfhardt eisenwaffershiman kroneckershittonmutovskionia rubafuckinshiffter Leberecht von Nordenflycht the 3rd, König von Arselhöffer, Kaiser von Heidemöse, Herzog von Nukem, Sheik al Bourbon in Königsberg (Ostpreußen), Deutschland)TM
[edit] See also
- Guantanamo Bay
- [[Knight Rider]
- The A-Team
