Hammerspacetime

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

The general theory of hammerspacetime is a revolutionary new way of looking at the universe, devised by scientific and hop-hop luminary MC Hawking, which proposes the existence of a hammerspacetime continuum.

Hammerspacetime theory unifies the concepts of hammerspace, which is the place from which characters in animé briefly obtain hammers, and Stop! Hammer Time. The hammerspacetime theory postulates that hammerspace and hammertime are inextricably linked, and that a distortion in one can be observed as a distortion in another.

The hammerspacetime theory was devised by Hawking based on the work of his colleague, MC Hammer, best exemplified in his short educational video, U Can't Touch This. The hammerspacetime theory makes several testable predictions. For example, in bad spy movies or episodes of The A-Team, in which there is a bomb on a timer, the difference in time between the expected detonation and the point at which it actually detonates (which may be viewed as an invocation of hammertime), is proportional to the likelihood that the characters, stuck in a barn, will find some odd piece of equipment not previously in shot (that is, take an object from hammerspace) and use this to rectify their situation.

It is thought that the hammerspacetime continuum is where all socks, keys, wallets, mobile telephomunication devices and elephants go. Because of the linkage between hammerspace and hammertime, when looking for an object lost in hammerspace, it will always appear at the last place you look.

The theory also predicts the concept of a hammerspacetime singularity, which would be a place filled with an infinite amount of stuff which you can never leave.

According to hammer string theory hammer space is tied to hammer time by a bit of string and some granny knots. Researchers have frequently tripped over the string while trying to determine how long it is, but have reached the tentative conclusion that it is around 1.5 to 2.5 times the length from the middle to the end.