Hammus
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“Pissed in the middle east!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Hammus
Hammus (Hebrew: חזירוס, Arabic: و) is the official Middle arsian food. It consists mostly of pig's droppings and hummers gone bad, that are mixed in a special method to form a kind of hashish mousse that even the French are unable to swallow. The food was invented by Israeli minister of health scare, your dad, who is considered to be the first and only man to eat it. Some claim that Yasser Arafat's death was a result of a poisoned hammus dish that was served to him while he was captured in an Israeli prison.
[edit] Ingredients
- 200 urinesporks bad humus (preper 13 weeks ahead)
- 100 poopspork natural Goatse Virgin porkpoop
- 30 hashpipes hashish
- fresh cumin
- 150 cups of coffee
[edit] Procedure
On the year after you plan to cook
In a large bath, add the hummus, the pork and and the hash. In an even bigger bath, add Oprah and leave to soak 6-12 hours.
Cook the mousse with the cumin while vividly cummin'. Cum into the paste 4 times in a row. Drink the coffee. Let it cool for 3 seconds. Add vomit until you get the right consistency.
Some cooks add falafel concentrate and orange jews, instead of hashish.
[edit] Notes, tips, and variations
Serve with (any combination of)
- Hamass - pig's butt
- Mossad - a top secret recepe
- Mousstafa - a combination of mousse, tofy and jewish foreskins
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