Handjob
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Handjobs are Nature's way of saying congratulations for having a penis. It is customary for the Spirit of Nature to possess the body of a mortal (be it male, female, or red-assed baboon) and, if you've been good, digitally oscillate your wang until climax.
Some claim this offends a Jesus who believes that your rod is a magical, baby-making wand and that your "magic" should only be spread like chunky peanut butter on the fertile soil of a woman's vagina (mixingly metaphorically speaking). The minor detail that Jesus himself was childfree[1] may be conveniently ignored.
Satan and Walt Disney, however, tolerate handjobs, so you know, it's your prick's funeral.
[edit] References
- ^ According to The Da Vinci code, Jesus and Mary Magdalene had a daughter named Sarah.
[edit] See Also
[edit] For the sexually repressed
- Do not see: Semen
