Hangover

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“I got the sweetest hangover”

~ Tamia on Diana Ross

A hangover is a state of mind whichs comes close to meditation: people with daily hangovers are believed to reach a bit of heaven by suffering. The drinking rituals needed for this state of mind are a challenge that only the bravest amongst us shall face. Ghandi was the first known man to have daily hangovers.

LISTEN Ev'rybody: to avoid or reduce hangovers ya must drink a LOT (of water). Queen Elizabeth has been doin it fer 120 years now, and she is in perfect shape for a blood-thirsty bunny.

Cures[edit]

No reliable cures for the hangover have yet been discovered, although this hasn't stopped an awful lot of people making them up for the humour value.

However, some items consistently have positive effects on those with the heightened state of mind that is the hangover. Namely (in no particular order):

  • Bacon
  • Lucozade
  • more alcohol (not a long term cure)
  • Glucose
  • Chocolate Milk
  • Caeser Salad
  • The Complete works of Joe Orton, a Verse Translation
  • Duvets
  • Lectures
  • Palindromes
  • LithiYum!
  • A bit o' sex
  • Shouting at people

Dora The Explorer (all the colours and spanish is good for the head)

Biological Pathway For a Hangover[edit]

Ethanol is absorbed via the small intestine where the body then uses enzymes to break it down. Step 1: Ethanol is converted into an ethane radical by ethanol dehydroxase. Step 2(a): The ethane radical travels up to the brain and attaches to your brain and causes extreme headaches. Step 2(b): The ethane radicals that don't attach to the brain do a barrel roll and convert into ipecac causing you to vomit profusely.

Pathology[edit]

  • Brian: Man, I am hung over...
  • Champ: Tell me about it. I woke up this morning, and I shit a squirrel. I mean it, literally. So now I've got this shit covered squirrel down here in the office, don't know what to name it."
  • Brick: Oh, I'm sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

An important fact about hangovers[edit]

Tamia has one.

That is all.