Harmony Korine

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Harmony Korine (born Pansy Girlsname on January 4, 1973 in Valerie Solanis, California) is a 12-year-old boy renowned for his drug taking abilities.

Harmony Korine doing what he does best - heroin

On occasion, someone who should know better will hand him a camera, some money, and tell him to make a film, though rarely will this film ever be finished.

My Life As A Woman’s Name (Early Life: 1973-1995)[edit]

Raised in Lodi, New Jersey by his cryptologist father Glenn Danzig, Harmony would occasionally take the bus into New York City to buy drugs and fall asleep in his own vomit. It was on one these trips that Harmony was discovered by renowned child pornographer Larry Clark while being fondled by him on a New York City park bench. Clark, known for feeling talent when he felt it, cast Harmony in the role of “Writer” for his 1995 film Kiddies.

Kiddies (1995)[edit]

Korine garnered much attention in 1995 when Kiddies became an unexpected but controversial hit. The film follows the how’s and why’s of children and their nipples. It is noted for being the first major studio produced child porn film to be released into theaters nationwide.

On December 4, 1997 tragedy struck when it was revealed that the film had been diagnosed with AIDS and had been unknowingly infecting other Miramax-distributed films with the virus.

Gummies & Donkies & Sevigniés (1997-1999)[edit]

Harmony Korine and ex-beau Chloé Sevigny attend the Oscars

Fresh from the success of Kiddies, Korine was given $1,000,000,000 to turn any old shitty footage he had lying around into a feature film. He did, and the resulting film Gummies (1997) premiered to Chloé Sevigny in the apartment the two shared. Its reaction was met with a less-than-enthusiastic response, mostly because the film was difficult to watch due to its crappyness. It has been reported that this is when Ms. Sevigny decided to withhold blowjobs from Harmony and instead bestow their wacky neighbor, funnyman Vincent Gallo with her fellatio skills instead. Gallo and Sevigny would later turn cocksucking into high art with their film collaboration entitled Vincent Gallo.

After the commercial and critical failure of Gummies (1997) Korine would try his hand at failing again with the feature length short film Donkies (1999) starring people. The plot involves a family sitting around a dinner table eating mashed potatoes and sneezing constantly for four hours and twenty minutes. It is notable for not being notable for any reason. Eschewing any sense of logic or worth, the film was shot-on-air as per the rules established by the Danish film collective Dogpoop 95. It was released by Korine himself who by this time was working at Blockbuster and could personally insert VHS copies of his shitty films into more popular fare that people actually wanted to see.

Ken Park & Relationship with Director Larry Clark (2002)[edit]

In the years following Kiddies (1995), Larry Clark’s first collaboration with Korine, the man and the boy had a falling out that would end their love association. This was due mostly to Clark’s disinterest in Korine’s now fully developed body. Despite this, the two director's joined forces again for Clark’s Ken Park (2002) which was shot using a script Harmony had written on a spermatozoa covered napkin that Clark had fished out of the garbage during a late night panty raid. While the film remains completed, its release has been held back due to Clark’s recent appearance on Dateline NBC’s To Catch a Predator.

Where Is He Now?[edit]

Following an appearance on Late Night with David Letterman where the young writer/director was busy promoting his autobiography, A Million Little Pieces of Shit: The Films of Harmony Korine he took time out of his busy heroin addiction to star as the lead in the comedy Rushmore (1998) with Bill Murray.

As of 2007 Korine has all but vanished from the public eye, though sources say he can be seen occasionally in Lower East Side passed out in a puddle, bleeding from his arms and anus.

The Uncompleted Films of Harmony Korine[edit]

  • Harmony Korine Getting Punched in the Face Repeatedly
  • The Runny Bunny
  • David Blaine: Magic Queer
  • 32 Short Films about Bacon
  • Freddy Got Fingered
  • My Life As A Drug
  • Feltcher: The Movie