Head Lephrachaun

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Head's ability to transform into a buffalo always goes wrong while he's drunk.

Head "Sunglasses" Lephrachaun born August 21, 1959 is the leader of the LIG, and had an acting career running from 1987 to 2003; best known as the Uncyclopedia Potato in "Uncyclopedia: Who is the laziest admin? in 1995.

Appearance and abilities[edit]

The Head Leprechaun makes people think he looks like this. He then invades their dreams and murders them viciously.

Head wears sunglasses that are IMPOSSIBLE to see through. Also, they're harder than Chuck Norris' muscle, beard, and nails. He once even used them to protect himself from a meteor.In order to see, he wears a geeky tacky white tie with red polka-dots. The tie is like a seeing-eye dog. He also sometimes wears a tie on his back along with the front. When without a shirt, he is super-buff, his body is twice it's size than without a shirt.

One day Head tried to create a buffalo and somehow ended up with this...thing.

He constantly wears a tuxedo or a typical Epizarian uniform, which is white and has a long sleeve and a short sleeve.Despite being super-buff when without a shirt (only when without a shirt) he doesn't use physical attacks in combat. His abilities are very limitless. A common thing he does is electrical wires that don't seem to end hidden in his sleeves. His signature attacks involve buffalo related things, such as morphing into a buffalo. After turning into a buffalo, he can make it's head blow off and transform into three different things, used for trapping, impaling, and electrofying. The three forms of the buffalo head things are as follows:

  • The main form is a flying creature with a large head, that charges and impales enemies with it's mighty spear-arms.
  • The secondary form is a flying sack thingy, that traps things in its mouth like some sort of pelican.
  • The tertiary form is a big clump of buffalo hair, with incredibly large sunglasses and electrical wires sticking out of its body.

Head keeps 3 amulets behind his geeky tie to create an armadillo, a human,(or Epizarian, who actually cares.) and a buffalo. They can fuse with eachother, Head can fuse with them, too. However, what good is being a hideous human-buffalo-armadillo thing anyway. Head does not name his techniques like a typical Japanese anime character, for he is not from Japan. He is from Epizar.

Lemming[edit]

β€œHe's a smelly Pussbag.”

~ Lemming on Head Lephrachaun
Head's wife. NOTE: this is a human, and is a woman.

Next to his wife, the thing he hates most is a guy named Lemming, who controls minerals of all kinds, like sapphires! They're valuable! He's hated Lemming ever since he was teaching archaeology in a college that isn't Harvard. One day, Lemming called him a wimp. Head is now devoted to killing Lemming whenever he gets the opportunity to do so. Sadly, every attempt so far have been very shitty and always ended up with Head getting his bones broken by a giant rock. The reason why every pathetic attempt messes up is because Head always stands in plain sight of Lemming and says: "I'm about to try killing you." That quote is usually followed by Head being crushed by a boulder. Lemming himself is actually a member of LIG, and when LIG went on a bowling trip, Head tried to hit him with a bowling ball. The assassination didn't work however, because all the LIG were still in the car, on the way to the bowling alley, and the bowling ball didn't go as far as a few feet because Head was sitting while trying to throw the ball, as well as the fact that all the LIG were in one car, and Head didn't have space to throw. Lemming himself looks very creepy. His bags under his eyes reach all the way to his lower jaws.

The LIG[edit]

Head's main affiliation is with the LIG. Most of the time these people read pornography, smoke, and get drunk off their ass. They are all super hero-like people. Second in command of their drunken group is a guy named Grue-man. He was teleported in a teleporter just as a grue was about to tackle and own him. But the teleporter teleported both of them, fucking up their DNA tgether, thus creating GRUE MAN! He bites off people's head, and uses human appendages to gut the rest of the body. In 1996, each member of the LIG was in a 1 on 1 battle tournament with some of Greece's greatest heroes, such as Jason, that kicking guy, and Prometheus. Of course, the LIG owned them to an entirely new extent. Most of the battles only lasted a couple of minutes. It's like a grue fighting you. All former and or current members and their powers are as follows:

  • Head:You already fucking know what he does.
  • Grue-man:Is part grue and owns everyone who's not from Epizar.
  • Bruce Lee:Was the LIG's best member, he owns.
    • Sadly for him, he died before he could kill Head and overthrow LIG.
  • Creampuff the serial arsonist, also known as Creampuff:As his name suggests, he's a serial arsonist.
  • Some Guy:Doesn't really do much, but Head was drunken when Some Guy came to sign up.
  • That Guy:Likewise.
  • Captain Obvious:He was one of the LIG.
  • Major Dickhead:Self explanatory.

Epizar[edit]

β€œHOLY FUCK!!!! HELP ME!”

~ Person on drunken Epizarian
Epizar has recently bought out and adopted a flag native of Earth. Controversy rose that very second.

Epizar is a planet not here that plans on destroying our planet in 3 days from right now. Animals native from here include, but are not limited to Grues, Buffaloes, and Epizarians. Honestly, you should'nt even get near an Epizarian unless you have some sort of plasma shield; they are able to tame grues. Here is a mathematical reason not to get near a drunken person from Epizar:

Epizar is known to have many conflicts with Earth, once time their planet even kidnapped the president, shot him multiple times, and dumped him into the ozone layer. The worst of their mistakes is when they adopted the Nazi flag in 1962, not knowing who the flag once belonged to. However, when the president of Epizar's capital province was interviewed about the offense he said, "For the love of God! How are we meant to know about these 'Nazis' or whatever you call them. At least now we get to piss you off, and you can't do anything about it!"

Retirement from the Justice League[edit]

Head used to be one of the ten billion members of the Justice League in the '80s. He fit in perfectly, all except for one problem-the name of his planet. His homeworld wasn't a catchy, nerdy name like Krypton or Earth. Superman kicked him out of the Justice League, but for revenge, Head blew up their Headquarters with an atomic bomb. Head assured them all he'd make his own organization that kicks ass, but all they did is spit in his his face. All ten billion of them lived through some sort of plot hole.

Head vs. Chuck Norris[edit]

In 1988, when head was 29, he once had a great clash against Chuck Norris. This battle determined the fate of the world. There was the Dark Side (Head) vs. the Roundhouse kick side (Norris). Their battle raged on for years. They both used the power of history's greatest non-fictional monsters, such as Godzilla, King Kong, and Gamera. Chuck Norris used Godzilla, the best of them all,while Head used the weaker King Kong and Gamera, in unison, are equally as good as Godzilla. They only used the monsters for a short time, for Godzilla remembered his happy days as an iguana. After remembering the old days, Godzilla died of grief. Without a Godzilla to plagiarise, Gamera and King Kong never came to existence. After that, Norris and Head had to use their MAD SKILLS to beat each other. Norris attempted to shatter Head's sunglasses with a roundhouse kick.

The aftermath of their battle. Only 7 people in the whole country lived. Also, the battle was in Russia.
If these were manipulated in the battle, the world would be fucked.

This didn't work, and Chuck broke his own foot.(You don't want to know how fucking hard those glasses are.) Later, Chuck broke all of Head's electrical wires with a roundhouse kick with the foot that isn't broken. Chuck was gonna do a finishing blow on Head using a roundhouse kick in the mouth. But then, Head turned into a buffalo, the kick hit his stomach, and Chuck's other foot broke. Head felt no pain, but still went flying 20 feet away. In midair, Head's head blew off and morphed into a flying thing with sharp lances for arms. It flew at Norris, and struck him in the heart, but Chuck's rock hard muscle protected him and he wasn't hurt at all. Also Head's lance-arm discintigrated. Head's buffalo-head opened it's mouth and shot a retractable spear into his mouth. But then, Chuck's super-long tongue started slithering up the spear and it punched Head's head away. Then, Chuck started walking on his arms(his two feet are broken) and leaped so he could smash Head's head. Suddenly, Head's head turned into a flying sack thingy and trapped Chuck inside. Head would've turned his intact arm into a scythe and kill Chuck when he was in the sack, but Chuck's rock hard muscle would protect him and discintigrate the scythe. Chuck's body was too heavy, because of all the muscle, so Head decided to fly into the ocean, never to return. They both sank to the bottom of the ocean, for centuries to come. Both lost, and both won. This sybolizes how there is still dark, and how there's still roundhouse kicking.

Chuck Norris is saved[edit]

Don't pick a fight with Bruce Lee.

Chuck was saved by the mighty Mega Gruyurg, and then eaten by it. However, because of the fact that Mega Gruyurg is an occult hybrid creature, Chuck was sent to a parellel universe, and while there, he was eaten by the Anti-Mega Gruyurg and sent to his original universe. Head, without Chuck weighing him down, resurfaced just in time to destroy Earth.

NOTE: If Head were fighting Bruce Lee, He'd die in two seconds, that is, if Bruce Lee were alive. Here is what would've happened:

Bruce Lee would use the One Inch Punch on Head, Head dies.

Filmography[edit]

This is a list of films Head has been greatly involved in in his short lived acting career.

  • Chuck, Bruce, T, and Head: Who's the best? 1989 (Played Head Lephrachaun)
  • Uncyclopedia: who's the laziest admin? 1993 (Played the Uncyclopedia potato)
  • Head vs. Lemming: This better be an exciting movie. 1995 (Played Lemming) (Head was played by Samuel L. Jackson)
  • Random movie that DOESN'T HAVE A STINKING ":" IN IT, THEN HAS ANOTHER STATEMENT!. 2003 (Played Head Lephrachaun)

see also[edit]