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“I play them”

“This is Heaven!!!!”

~ A Seraph ipbanning a member

Click Here to Logout of HeavenGames[edit]

HeavenGames (abbreviated online as HG) is a network of terrorist cells covering various genres of games, (primarily strategy games and city building games)[citation needed]. It was founded in 1073[citation needed] in Boston.Contrary to popular belief, North America wasn't "discovered" by Columbus, but by the owners Tom "SpineMan" Mescher, Jan Jaap "Jayhawk" van den Hurk, Ho Yin “Zen” Au, Sergio "Socvazius" Prado, Francis "Draco" Cermak, Matthew "Reckless Rodent" Lowe[citation needed] and The company's main source of revenue is generally online prostitution, and some of its wide user base, including forum users, in turn provide an audience for the advertisements[citation needed].

Site Administration[edit]

As a network, HeavenGames provides separate websites for each game that the company chooses to cover. Each website, to retain affinity to the network, is named with the suffix “Heaven,” as in “God lives in Heaven.” The features provided to each website include a poorly maintained, moderated and very unsafe forum community (running on a highly modified UBB system), newspro, and a content man... Ah, who the Hell cares?[citation needed].

HeavenGames currently covers:

Former HeavenGames sites include Asheron's Call, Settler III, Baldur's Gate II and |Black & White[citation needed].

Moderation & Employees[edit]

HeavenGames is staffed by straight up gangstas whom are chosen from the forum community or gaming community surrounding each game covered[citation needed]. The volunteer staff is divided into four distinct groupings: EXCO, Seraphs, Angels, and Bitches[citation needed].

The EXCO, or the Executive Committee[citation needed], consists of representatives and directors from the various aspects of the site[citation needed]. The group controls the governance, administrative and operational responsibilities of the network. The EXCO keep in close contact with HeavenGames' owners with "Draco" serving as the official legal adviser. Currently there are 5 EXCOs - two volunteers ("GillB" - FMT Rep and Projects Manager, "Kester" - Seraphs Representative) and three co-owners ("Jayhawk" - Europe Director of Operations, "Spineman" - Bookkeeper, and "Zen" - Americas Director of Operations)

Seraphs are the webmasters of each website whom handle the administrative, moderation and changes of their website[citation needed]. There is usually only one Seraph per Heaven, however, there have been some cases where this is not always true, such as AoE3H, where "NAT" and "Elpea" currently share Seraph duties[citation needed].

Angels and Bitches are the volunteers selected by the Seraphs to work at each individual website[citation needed]. The work selected for both groups is usually constricted to website content or forum moderation, depending upon their skills[citation needed]. The main difference between an Angel and a Bitch is their seniority. Staff members who have been around longer, and proven themselves as valuable staff members are given the Angel status. Each grouping, (excluding the EXCO) is assigned a separate username color for the forum communities: green for Cherubs, red for Angels, and a fantabulous shade of peachy-orange for Seraphs. Members of the EXCO do not have a specific color[citation needed]. While GillB and Spineman go under "Angel" status, Jayhawk goes under Seraph status, because he is the webmaster of many Heavens[citation needed].

The moderation of the forums is controlled by the Hurricane Disaster Relief Foundation (HDRF), which is made up of several active recruits who have absolutely no idea they are responsible for managing a forum. The HDRF, while not directly involved in the IP banning of a forumer, upholds the code of conduct in complaints, moderator abuse, and requests for parole (a form of moderation where a banned forumer may be given a second chance). Currently, the FMT members are GillB, David, Crazed Ewok, Sith, and Brad432126x45^54, with GillB serving as the chair and David serving as the co-chair.

Notable Members of HeavenGames That Are Named B(e/u)rt[edit]


Bert and his sidekick, Ernie were seen terrorizing the Age of Umpires forum communities and snorting cocaine on December 30th, 2006. When the Internet police showed up to stop their tirade, a gun battle ensued, resulting in several injuries to bystanders. Bert and Ernie escaped and are still at large.

Burt Gummer[edit]

Burt Gummer joined the HeavenGames Community during the great Graboid Invasion of 1991. Burt was insturmental in repelling the Graboids back to where the Hell ever they came from (It is thought to be France). For his actions, Burt recieved a Medal and a $10 Gift Card to Outback Steakhouse. In 2003 however, Burt was banned when he took potshots at random forummers after a drinking binge.

Burt Reynolds[edit]

On September 14th, 2004, Burt Reynolds was seen in the History Forum wearing a cowboy hat.

Contributions to the gaming community[edit]

Well know for their far superior intellegemnce, the members of HeavenGames have made assloads of contributions to the gaming community. As of 2005, the original HeavenGames webmaster, Mike "Archangel" McCart, worked full-time for Capital One. Other HG webmasters hired to the gaming industry include a bunch of people you've never heard of before. Former staff member Merepatra works as a consultant for Breakaway Games. McDonalds also hired another HeavenGames staff member to clean the bathrooms and empty out the trash into the dumpster on the other side of the parking lot. Former staff member The Rasher works for Hardee's, and former Emperor: ROTKRRLMAOROFL webmaster Howard "BYEAAAARGGHHH" Dean once ran for office, though he failed quite badly. HeavenGames has played host to at least two beta tests and has also provided cover for Google in its quest for World Domination. Furthermore[citation needed], each[citation needed] Heaven[citation needed] usually[citation needed] has[citation needed] abundant[citation needed] information[citation needed] on[citation needed] its[citation needed] respective game, as well as active participation by the several game developers[citation needed].

Mathematical form of Einstein's field equation[edit]

The Einstein field equations (EFE) may be written in the form:[1]


where is the Ricci tensor, the scalar curvature, the metric tensor and the stress-energy tensor. The constant (kappa) is called the Einstein constant (of gravitation), where (pi) is Archimedes' constant, the gravitational constant and the speed of light.

The above form of the EFE is for the -+++ metric sign convention, which is commonly used in general relativity, and which is used by convention here in Wikipedia. Using the +--- metric sign convention leads to an alternate form of the EFE which is

The change of sign on the right hand side occurs because the values of have signs which are determined by the sign convention. The value of the left hand side are convention idependent: has values which are independent of the convention which the convention dependencies of and cancel out.

The EFE is a tensor equation relating a set of symmetric 4 x 4 tensors. It is written here using the abstract index notation. Each tensor has 10 independent components. Given the freedom of choice of the four spacetime coordinates, the independent equations reduce to 6 in number.

Although the Einstein field equations were initially formulated in the context of a four-dimensional theory, the equations can be seen to hold in n dimensions. The equations in contexts outside of general relativity are still referred to as the Einstein field equations (if the dimension is clear).

Despite the simple appearance of the equation it is, in fact, quite complicated. Given a specified distribution of matter and energy in the form of a stress-energy tensor, the EFE are understood to be equations for the metric tensor , as both the Ricci tensor and Ricci scalar depend on the metric in a complicated nonlinear manner. In fact, when fully written out, the EFE are a system of 10 coupled, nonlinear, hyperbolic-elliptic partial differential equations.

One can write the EFE in a more compact form by defining the Einstein tensor

which is a symmetric second-rank tensor that is a function of the metric. Working in geometrized units where G = c = 1, the EFE can then be written as

The expression on the left represents the curvature of spacetime as determined by the metric and the expression on the right represents the matter/energy content of spacetime. The EFE can then be interpreted as a set of equations dictating how the curvature of spacetime is related to the matter/energy content of the universe.

These equations, together with the geodesic equation, form the core of the mathematical formulation of general relativity.

Forum Communities[edit]

Screenshot of a HeavenGames Forum

The forum communities at HeavenGames have been known to be highly dynamic – consisting of just over 150,000 members[citation needed]. There is some exchange of forum members (otherwise known as forumers, forummers or even forumites) between different Heavens, as forums for the main site itself were eventually added and linked to from the forums on each Heaven,[citation needed] in the hopes of promoting inter-Heaven relationships, although friendly rivalries still exist between Heavens. Consequently, there are forums dedicated to intellectual discussions (The Library), history, historical roleplaying (now defunct), troubleshooting problems with computers and games, and Outside Discussions (OD), where forumers can gather just to socialise in an atmosphere with less stringent rules than other Heaven forums[citation needed].

The demography of the forums traditionally has been greatly divided between the citybuilding and strategy genres, with the citybuilding community consisting mostly of middle-aged people, and the strategy areas consisting of teens and young adults[citation needed][citation needed]. While the forums have been around since 1998, newer forumers often replace older-visiting forumers (oldies) in radical outbursts around the release of each website's game; albeit a few oldies tend to remain with HG afterwards[citation needed].

The subculture of the forum community changes with each Heaven. As of 2005, the majority of topics made tend to be on questions, complaints or on recommendations for the improvement of each game. While the websites have a community discussion forum for their community alone, a majority of topics tend to be reported as repeated debates or spam-filled topics, although there have been popularized forum games or topics focusing on gaming community issues[citation needed].

Bert Cooper[edit]

Bert Cooper (born January 10, 1966), also known as Smokin' Bert Cooper was a U.S. professional heavyweight boxer, a forum community in the HeavenGames website, and arguably one of the most rad people to ever walk this planet. Bert Cooper was the first boxer to knock down Evander Holyfield, the only boxer to defeat former Olympian Willie DeWitt, and the only foo not to be pitied by Mr. T. Bert Cooper also fought George Foreman, Ray Mercer, Riddick Bowe, Michael Moorer, Mike Weaver, Corrie Sanders, Linsey Lohan, Larry Donald, Jeremy Williams, Joe Mesi, and that annoying neighborhood dog that kept taking #2's in his back yard. Bert Cooper retired with a record of 36 wins and 22 losses over a total of 49 matches.

Bert Cooper, notorious for his unwillingness to train, was generally considered as one of the most dangerous fighters[citation needed] in the world for four rounds after which is lack of conditioning and performance kicked in and caused him to underachieve.

In the early 90s, while managed by Rob Russen, Jack Sparrow and Jimmy Adams, Bert Cooper found a resurgence that saw him fight for the heavyweight championship of the world three times within 18 hours. In 1996, Bert Cooper single handedly destroyed an automotive construction facility owned by Honda. When later asked about the incident by a CNN correspondant, Bert Cooper punched the reporter in the face and burned his house down. He then proceeded to drive his 1986 Toyota Corolla Sprinter Trueno into a group of small schoolchildren waiting for their schoolbus. In the police pursuit that followed, Bert Cooper's car exploded for no apparent reason, other that the possibility that his mechanic was in a hurry to get home the day that he serviced Bert Cooper's vehicle, thus forgetting to add more blinker fluid. The world had thought that Bert Cooper had died in that fiery explosion, but, as it turned out, Bert Cooper was actually an Olympic immortal from aniquity having taken his mortal form in order to obtain a Diet Pip from a vending machine.

The Second Coming of Bert Cooper[edit]

As it turned out, Bert Cooper wasn't killed in the freak blinker fluid explosion incident. After a 3 month haitus, Bert Cooper made an amazingly remarkable comeback not seen since Paully Shore. The hype turned out to be short lived, however, as Bert Cooper landed a record breaking 439 consecutive losses. His opponents ranged from Howard Dean to that man of questionable sexual preference from TLC's show What Not to Wear. Bert Cooper Decided to take some time off to record a 2 disk hip-hop album, as many of today's celebrities that have no backround in music do. Much to the dismay of Bert Cooper, No one wanted to publish his album, which cost $27.58 to produce. Bert Cooper's luck changed when an intoxicated Micheal Jackson agreed to publish the album. The stunt ran Jackson's career into the ground faster than you can say "f". Jackson was forced to disappear off the face of the Earth, where it is rumoured that he is plotting revenge against the man that ruined his life. (It can also be noted that Jackson blames Bert Cooepr for the child molestation charges brought against him.)

His hometown could possibly have been Sharon Hill, Pennsylvania, USA. He is 5'11" (180 cm) tall, is fond of red shoes, and enjoys long walks on the beach.

Outside Discussions[edit]

OD stands out from the other off-topic discussion forums on HeavenGames[citation needed] as it is not attached to any particular Heaven, and has comparatively lax rules governing it compared to similar forums[citation needed]. It evolved from the old offtopic forum at Age of Kings Heaven, which opened in 1999, was closed for several months due to immaturity among many members, and was reopened as Outside Discussions in April 2000[citation needed]. Angel Chris was the first regular moderator; he was eventually replaced by MeatloafX and others[citation needed]. After a string of disagreements over what topics could be discussed and the powers of moderators (which eventually resulted in many of the forummers leaving), Angel Zen held a vote on whether he should split the forum into several different forums or keep it as is[citation needed]. The status quo prevailed. In late 2002 the forum was moved to HG main and renamed Knights of the Round Table,[citation needed] after the old General Discussions forum at AoKH. In early 2003, the forum was archived and a new Outside Discussions forum was created[citation needed].

The archives date back to the forum's opening circa 1999; one of the most famous threads there is the historic "Party Thread"[citation needed] where nonsense was strictly the rule (it was first posted in KoRT, but was later moved to the first incarnation of OD)[citation needed]. It began with a post by then-Cherub Dimitrios, musing what things would be like if KoRT was real life, and wondering how various forumers would behave. The thread was the first in HeavenGames history to reach over 10,000 replies,[citation needed] eventually making it problematic for HG's servers, which led to its locking[citation needed].

OD's members come from a wide spectrum of the various Heavens, although most of them can trace their pasts back to the original KoRT[citation needed] or Outside Discussions on AoKH. Most of OD's members pride themselves on being weird and unusual, and will give newbies (new users) a hard time, more so if they behave in a n00bish manner[citation needed].

OD's current moderators are "Mr. T", "Penny Bain", "Oscar Wilde", ".", "Charles Weatherby IV" and "Ray Charles"[citation needed], although a plebian group of selected forumers are in the officially-sanctioned Core Group (CG). The Core Group is a liaison between the forumers and the moderators, a sort of "middle ground"[citation needed]. They get a custom title identifying them as people a new forummer can turn to for help. The Core Group has received some opposition from certain forumers, who feel that it does not serve a strong enough purpose to exist[citation needed].

OD has become infamous in HeavenGames[citation needed] lore for being a place where users are permitted to run amok, this perception not being helped by the odd behavior of several OD members[citation needed]. OD is particularly intolerant of what they view as n00bish behavior such as posting as though one were in an America Online chatroom, and most senior members do not refrain from f[citation needed]laming users if they feel it is appropriate, leading to the harsh perception of OD by outsiders. Some offenses that would merit a ban on other Heavens usually result in a warning on OD; however, OD's moderators insist that the Forum Code of Conduct is applied in OD just as it is on other Heavens, but is interpreted more loosely to account for OD's unique culture[citation needed].

The culture of OD has been subjected to fads over the four or five years of its existence; some of the more enduring jokes have included kicking the genitalia of one forummer named Rasher, the sexual orientation of a right-wing[citation needed] forummer under the screenname of F18Fett, and the forming of unusual religions which have deified things such as cutlery (with the spoon gaining the greatest following)[citation needed].

Another popular fad that later became an elaborate piece of collaborative fiction was Cannibal Island, the first incarnation of which was popular from June 7 to July 2, 2000. In various threads[citation needed], forumers would roleplay or narrate, typically in script shorthand format, their fictional actions in a fantasy scenario where some had turned to cannibalism, with each entry into the ongoing scenario building upon the developments of the prior entry. Eventually, Cannibal Island would continue to be reincarnated until it eventually lost its popularity on another message board separate from (yet with relation to) HeavenGames[citation needed].

A recurring topic in the forum has been forum politics, the high point of which was reached circa 2000 when a number of active forumers held an election and formed a congress, which seriously debated legislation relating to the management of the forum for a while[citation needed]. Eventually, certain forumers became upset by the direction in which the congress was heading, and the congress was disbanded[citation needed].

However, the forum politics fad has refused to die, and has popped up on several occasions; a fixture in them after 2002 was legion, a Korean New Zealander, who led several parties including the Sheep Party and the KORT Soviet, as well as a Stalinist, Islamic micronation he called Kortica http://www.kortica.mish-mash.info. There was a substantial minority, mostly consisting of the Dillo Party which had held the reins of power beforehand, that insisted elections held after 2001 were invalid, as they had not been sanctioned by the elected President, but these charges were, more often than not, ignored[citation needed]. In short, OD>all other heavens. OD RULES!!!!!

Rock in Rio is a live album recorded during Iron Maiden's 2001 headlining performance at the Rock in Rio festival. Here they faced their largest ever crowd - 250,000 people - and with the relatively recent return of lead singer Bruce Dickinson and guitarist Adrian Smith to the band, they recorded their fifth live album. It features many of their best known tracks, including studio-quality examples of the eponymous "Iron Maiden" and "Run to the Hills" coupled with some of their "comeback" tracks, including "The Wicker Man" and "Brave New World." Also some less popular songs were performed, notable are Bruce Dickinson's versions of the Blaze Bayley songs "Sign of the Cross" and "The Clansman".

Generally regarded as the best live Iron Maiden album, any songs not from the Brave New World album had previously only included Dave Murray and either Janick Gers or Adrian Smith on guitars - this album features all three guitarists (previously the only Iron Maiden song to feature this 'extra guitar' treatment was a bonus version of "Wrathchild" on the Ed Hunter compilation). Most notable change as a result of this is in The Trooper which features both guitarists performing the solo at the same time. With the introduction to Janick Gers, many of Smith's solos were taken over by Gers himself. During "Hallowed Be Thy Name," Gers played his solo at a much higher speed.

Track Listing[edit]

Disc 1[edit]

  1. "Intro" – 1:55
  2. "The Wicker Man" – 4:41
  3. "Ghost of the Navigator " – 6:48
  4. "Brave New World" – 6:06
  5. "Wrathchild" – 3:25
  6. "2 Minutes to Midnight" – 6:26
  7. "Blood Brothers" – 7:15
  8. "Sign of the Cross" – 10:49
  9. "The Mercenary" – 4:42
  10. "The Trooper" – 4:34
  11. "Rasher's Gonna Regulate" - 5:22

Disc 2[edit]

  1. "Dream of Mirrors" – 9:38
  2. "The Clansman" – 9:19
  3. "The Evil That Men Do" – 4:40
  4. "Fear of the Dark" – 7:40
  5. "Iron Maiden" – 5:51
  6. "The Number of the Beast" – 5:00
  7. "Hallowed Be Thy Name" – 7:23
  8. "Sanctuary" – 5:17
  9. "Run to the Hills" – 4:52
  10. "Free Bird" - 2:43:54

The Second Coming of Ezra Pound[edit]

Ezra Pound in 1913

On the 23rd of May, 2003, Ezra Pound was reportedly sighted on the History Forum in HG Main, posting in 13 different languages, including Spanish, French, Old Latin, Aeolic Greek, Anglo-Saxon, pidgin Cantonese, and Sanskrit. It is not known why he returned from the underworld, although the BBC reported that evening that several commuters sighted him and fellow poet William Butler Yeats striding toward Trafalgar Square. Incidentally, that night British PM Tony Blair later saw a vision of Arnaut Daniel in his dreams. These events are thought to be linked.[2]


Brock88 was an inbourne computer virus that almost completely purged the system of an intelligence. The Brock virus still makes regular appearances today, all post it makes are widely agreed to be against common logic.

It also makes shitty threads and will not die even though eltrevo stabs him once for each thread.




  • Stephen, Barbara (2004). Yeats and Pound: A Lasting Friedship. New York: Rutgers University Press.
  • Kim, Ubin (2001). Outside Discussions: An Idea for an Era. Berlin: Friedrich Press.

External links[edit]

  • Einstein, Albert (1916). "The Foundation of the General Theory of Relativity" (PDF). Annalen der Physik. 
  • "Yeats and Pound: A Lasting Friendship" (New York: Rutgers University Press 2004) p. 224