From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

“Eeeuuujj i was born in this place!!!”

~ Zatty on Heeswijk

“Het enige goede in Heeswijk, is het fietspad richting Rosmalen.”

~ Beatrix on Heeswijk

“We love our country because well... there's no tax”

~ General Population on Heeswijk


Official languages Some sort of strange drunk talk, Heziks, Loud Anti-American Bullshit
Capital Heeswijk(-city)
Largest City New-Heeswijk
Dictator (a.k.a. Ruler of the Universe King Japie (a.k.a. Jesus)
Established A long time ago
Currency The Pils
Opening hours 24 hrs. a day, 7 days a week (except wednesday)
National anthem "Blauw witte kleure" (Crazy Frog remix)
Mascot Hans de Schutter

Heeswijk is a country that is said to control the world but that's not true because that is God and his good friend Allah doing already. It controls the whole world except for France and Kangarooland. There is also a province called Dinther that has its own government where people can come to chat while Heeswijk still controls the normal politics. Heeswijk is also home of the crappiest school ever: 'Bernrode'.

Persons from heeswijk:[edit]

History of Heeswijk:[edit]

Heeswijk-Dinther War I[edit]

A long time ago in 1999 there was a war between Heeswijk and Dinther. Nobody won but there was a big fat monkey his name was Matty. He is the brother of King Kong. Later he would become the king of Heeswijk. During the war there was a famous battle. The Battle of Plein 1969. Thousands of people died. Only King kong and his brother survived. King Kong was hungry and went to the Jumbo in dinther. Where he met Godzilla also known as RVG_the Ripper there was a big fight at the vleeswaren afdeling. King Kong jumped on RVG. Who didn't survive. After that king kong took a salami and ate it. But afther that he was still very hungry, so he went to the groente + fruit department. He saw a big yellow BANANA,, and he pulled it in his ass. The people of dinther found that disgusting. and that's the end of the war.

Heeswijk-Dinther Union[edit]

After that there came a union in wich Heeswijk and Dinther became one. they also took a new flag.


They called their new country Heeswijk-Dinther. It was ruled by two kings 1. Der Uber_Sucker And 2. RVG_The Ressurector.

Heeswijk-Dinther War II:[edit]

But then it happened again and they again went to war. After 2 days the war was over because one of the 2 people that the army of dinther was made of got sick and had to call of. So the other guy said they have to wait with fighting until the other one was better. Until now there has been no sign of the sick guy. People think he went to play hide and seek together with Natalee Holloway.

Map of Heeswijk:[edit]