“Ford is the best in Texas.”
“Don't find fault, find a remedy.”
“You rascist bastard”
In 1754 Henry Ford started his perambulator company, General Motors Corporation which was later sold to Michael Moore; the man in two mirrors and it was not until 1973 that real competition came in the form of Japanese tractor corporation, Ferrarri who made perambulators affordable to the mass market. This sent GMC into meltdown over the next ten years, when Moore decided enough was enough, GMC was going to start using designs with only 50 year outdated technologies. It was too late, GMC would be taken over by a man known only as the Stig. Some say he was Henry Ford who had decided to take back his business GMC and that he made sure everyone knew that remote controls were part of a government conspiracy to make everyone dance like chickens at weekends, all we know is that hes called Du Stick in South Afrika.
Inventions of Henry Ford
Henry Ford was an accomplished inventor, as he mass-produced the following things
- Parking lots
- The Ford automobile
- The cotton gin
- The talking fish
- The Unibrow
- The Dearborn Independent
- Internet Advertising
- Government Motors Corporation Opel
- The American Nazi Militia Foundation: Obama Mutant Ninja Turtles
He also invented the Ford Coil (betta known as the Tesla coil).
Discoveries of Henry Ford
Brave New World
With these great inventions, Ford created a brave new world that forever changed humanity. As a way of thanks, the human race asked hack writer Aldous Huxley to write a book detailing the greatness of Ford's society and how great and almighty Ford really is, which Huxley titled Brave New World. To this day, it is the number five best selling book (behind Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy).
Things named after Henry Ford
Henry Ford was a winner of an early Aryan race, and was crowned champion of the aryan racers. During a marathon, Henry discovered that General Motors had fixed the rules in order that Jewish Bankers would receive all the cash prizes. Henry was intrigued by their culture and wrote a book about how great the Jewish bankers were (they still are today) at financing both sides of World Wars in order to make huge profits. Ford refused to give the Jewish bankers any of his money so the Jewish bankers sued him stating that Ford should help kick in cash so that the banks, along with General Motors can supply Hitler with Superior Jet Engined Aircraft, tanks and synthetic fuels in order to kill off the neighboring Polish peoples while similarly shooting down Allied Aircraft carrying the same American and British troops that fought for Democracy during both WWI and WWII. Soon after WWII, Henry was stricken deaf having suffered 3 heart attacks. It was then that a Jewish Banker sponsored senate sub-committee accused General Motors and Ford of profiteering off the manufacture of war. General motors was found guilty and because they were friends of the Jewish Bankers, they got away Scot free. Ford on the other hand was ordered to Finance the rebuild of British Leylands manufacturing plants to become compliant to a level not exceeding Bosnian ISO 9002 manufacturing protocols But because Ford had been stricken Deaf he thought they said "Bomb Bosnia Back To The 19th Century and while your at it, see if you can do something about those dreadful British Jaguar cars" and so he did. With Bosnia now flat as a pancake, Ford turned his might on those Horridly Foul British Sports Cars. Fords first order of business was to supply $500,000,000 for a "Jaguar Dependability Study". After just 9 short years it was announced that from now on the workman who install the brake lines should have top priority over those who install the wiring in order that there would be no more problems with the brakes coming on when you accessed the windshield wipers or the headlights firing brake fluid when you tuned the radio. Unfortunately, this was not enough to sway the remaining (living) Bosnians as they have boycotted Jaguar in favor of Opel Motor Cars stating that "Opel hasn't bombed us since WWII so they must like us". Meanwhile, General Motors Opel Division has recently announced plans to again supply huge amounts of cash and technologies to the those same Jewish Bankers who were responsible for financing both the World Wars. The General Motors Bankers For Bombs Fund (GMBFBF) will pit both Allied and Axis countries against each other in the grand old tradition of true Jewish War Profiteering ala WWII with an eye on major successes of the destruction of Flanders (WWI). In other news, expect your Auto Licensing fees to triple over the next few years.
Quotes by Henry Ford
- Smells Like Teen Spirit.-Ford
- I'm Rich Bitch-Ford
- I can dig it dig it baby, he can dig it dig it baby, she can dig it dig it baby, Can you dig it, Can You Dig It Baby?-Ford
Death of Ford
Ford died in a duel against himself as he assumed the role as the third messiah.