“Where is this damn page!”
“This page is hidden!”
“Fucking A man...wonder where it went”
The hidden page, possibly the most enigmatic and perplexing article ever made. Yet arguably the best there ever was. Since the day it was created, the hidden page has puzzled onlookers daring enough to stare down its incredibly intimidating eyes. However, those who are able to see past its dark concealment often find a soft chewy center.
The hidden page was created sometime between "That lady getting a new face" and "Now." While the author is still unknown, many speculate that it was Yoda reincarnated, citing that "Well, he was pretty smart and stuff, right?" While this fact is acknowledged by the Star Wars community, it is largely rejected by "Normal" people. The debate over the author of the page has reached a breaking point, eventually causing one avid internet user to spontaneously combust. Unfortunately, due to the minor incident, all investigation pertaining to the hidden page has been suspended. Whilst the author is still unknown, the legend of the hidden page continues to grow. Despite the extreme subtlety of the page itself.
Indeed, the hidden page is one of the most subtle in existence, and takes a lot of hard work and/or complete luck to find. In fact, it took nearly 20 days for the first
unlucky bastard poor soul blessed individual to wonder across the heavenly bit of server memory. Yet, as mentioned above, the legend and notability of the page rises nearly everyday. The current number of views ( as measured by www.statcounter.com) has exceeded the 20, and is now at exactly 27. Due to these extremely high numbers, the page is now being edited 'round the clock, and has changed drastically from its original content.
Among the many tangled and disfiguring edits to the page, there have been a surprising amount of them coming from well known celebrities, and other eminent figures of pop culture. The following is a list of these people, as well as their particular contribution(s).
- Not Oscar Wilde
- Brad Pitt: Corrected the spelling of the word 'the' which was previously spelled 'the.'
- Felix the Cat: Removed what he claimed to be "Several Anti-Feline slurs and phrases."
- Tom Cruise: Replaced a ',' with a ';' and added a reference to his new movie War of the Worlds.
- Stan: Blanked the page, but then realized he had done so, and reverted it to the previous version.
- Anonymous: Created the page, and also did a "SpelChek" to find and correct any spelling/grammatical errors.
- Aristotle: Added some crazy math equation which, unfortunately, no one understood.
- The Nation of Liechtenstein: Brought cake and punch for everyone.
- Mad Cow: Milk and cookies.
- Bill Cosby: And they ate the pudding popps...
As of 00:28 July 19, 2019 (UTC) There has been only one occurrence of vandalism on the hidden page. This vandalism was meant as a "practical joke" in which the anonymous IP repeatedly wrote the words "PENISPENISPENIS!!! across the page. Due to this extremely intolerable act, all edits by anonymous IPs have been blocked on this page baring just one, though those who have logged in may edit. Everyone affiliated with the hidden page, and the AHSSIPA (Association of the Hidden or Slightly-Sequestered Internet Pages of America), hopes that this measure will prove efficient in preventing the vandalism of all hidden or slightly-sequestered internet pages.
This section has been hidden through censorship by the FCC. You really missed out too. There were all sorts of naked attractive people and interesting innuendo of interesting people. Oh well. Tough luck for you. Now all this section is censored and replaced by this message letting you know that this section was censored.
The present-day hidden page is much like the hidden page of old. However, as you well know, so much has changed - and continues to change at this very instant. The hidden page has been through many edits in the past few weeks, and many more are to come. But it is the hope of this author, as well as many others, that the hidden page will always have that special little quality that everyone loves. Amen.