Hide

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hide is the name of the God of Jrock. He created himself in human flesh on the day of December 13th, 1964. He single-handedly inspired an army of Japanese rock stars to take over the world. They will do so on May 25th and 26th in an event called Jrock Revolution, which was planned by Yoshiki, hide's loyal servant.

"BOW DOWN TO ME YOU FOOLISH MORTALS!"

Misconceptions[edit]

hide is not to be confused with Hyde, which is the alter ego of Jekyll and was conjured up by a mad scientist named Gackt. Some people claim that hide's name must be written without a capital H because people with pink hair have to spell their names in lowercase letters. In actuality, hide said that his name must be lowercase because he is God and therefore his word is law. Recently there have also been discussions on whether hide has disappeared from Earth's surface. THIS IS A LIE. He is still alive and has recently made many accomplishments in the world of beauty and fashion, such as opening his own salon called LEMONed, starting an Egyptian-based clothing line called Seth et Holth, and shaving Britney Spears' head. Unbeknownst to many mortals, in the year of 666 ADHDTV (After Development of High Definition Television), hide formally adopted GWAR.

Biography[edit]

During his childhood, hide was forced to live among mere mortals. As part of his mortal disguise, he cast a spell on himself that temporarily made him obese. However, this caused deep psychological trauma in the form of him being constantly teased by his school mates about his weight. He reversed the spell and began to reconsider his decision to live among the ignorant and undeserving masses. However, his "grandmother" (just a decoy of course so people wouldn't notice that hide was a God) encouraged him to stay by giving him his first guitar.

In 1981 he started to feel better about his decision. He had started an independent rock band named Saver Tiger. When the band released their first album, another musician named Yoshiki managed to get a copy of it, and was very impressed by hide's mad guitar skillz. He decided that he must have hide in his own band. In an act of desperation, he kidnapped the other members of Saver Tiger. He made a phone call to hide, saying: "If you ever want to see your precious band mates again, you will join X Japan as our lead guitarist!". hide agreed to do this, and the members of Saver Tiger went their separate ways. Eventually, the remaining members of Saver Tiger re-grouped and started a boy band.

Shortly after hide joined X Japan, Yoshiki felt guilty about his actions and in an effort to make up for his behavior, he offered to be hide's loyal servant. hide agreed to this, and immediately demanded that Yoshiki buy him a lifetime supply of lemonade.

X Japan[edit]

See X Japan. Be awed at their amazingness.

Seth et Holth[edit]

Seeking to touch as many people as possible with his immortal tale of woe, lost innocence, and reincarnation, hide wrote the short story "Seth et Holth", a completely factual and historically accurate account of his life as the Ægyptüsian god Set. In the story which is actually pretty good, Set and Horus (that's Holth) are constantly reincarnated time after time to this world of anger and confusion where they lose their innocence and are visciously killed. Seeing his divine word spread, hide then decided to make a movie out of his short story with fellow Jrocker TUSK. The movie predated the Matrix in the use of scrolling green computer text and trilobites. The movie although visually intriguing and possessing of at least 100 examples of mad hot fanservice, is not as good as the short story due to the inclusion of rape. The only spoken word in the entire movie is "yamete!"