Hipster
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A hipster is a cannibal that only eats hips. He seeks out big-hipped women and grazes on the succulent fat that covers the protruding bones. On occasion, he slices off the meat and then grills it with teriyaki sauce and garnishes the plate with juicy pineapple. For home decoration, he puts taxidermic hips on his wall on plaques, like those creepy public service get-out-and-exercise commercials, where they have freestanding potbellies and lovehandles.
Hipsters tend to live off of obese women like Nicole Richie, Calista Flockhart, and Laura Flynn Boyle. The victim of a hipster can be spotted by her loosely fitting jeans and swaying walk.
[edit] Controversy
In the U.S., various Hipster related lawsuits have been at the forefront of a media frenzy. In 1992 for instance, in what became known as the Trial of the Century, well known former NFL player Orange Juice Simpson was convicted of murdering and consuming the hips of his erstwhile lover. The case caught the cultural zeitgeist so much that it divided a nation. At the forefront of the division were two groups, the National Anti-Hipster Coalition, and the Hipster Anti-Defamation League, the former known by their slogan "Die Hipster Scum", and the latter known by the slightly less catchy "Mmm Hips... Yum!"
Many members of the H.A.D.L. claim that Mr. Simpson wasn't in fact a hipster at all, as his wife was rather thin, but in public discourse the distinction is rarely made.
