Hobgoblin
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Primarily used as a synonym for Brittany Hubble, the infamous "knobgobblin hobgoblin".
Brittany Hubble is a notorious hobgoblin whose only pleasures in life are scurrying and defecating.
“A hobgoblin once tried to trick me. I ate his liver with some crystal meth and a nice bottle of Jack Daniels.”
~ Oscar Wilde on hobgoblins
A hobgoblin is an amusing creature typically found in folklore tales and role playing games. As a result, it is normally only found in the conversations of little children, pitiful nerds, folklorists and dead people.
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[edit] Origins
The term hobgoblin has several possible origins and often leads to heated debate among folklorists and some particularly anal nerds. Not surprisingly, little Catholics and The Predator are too preoccupied with various other matters to find this lame subject interesting.
Some of the possible origins include:
- Ancient British hippies (a.k.a. druids) who inexplicably referred to the invasion of goblins (i.e. French people) as 'Robin Goblins';
- The term 'nob-goblin', which referred to a particularly well-hung goblin;
- ISP Customer Service Representatives who are hot and kind of nerdy because they know stuff like Linux and servers.
- Nostrodamus' premonition of the birth of Tom Cruise;
- The term 'nob-gobbler' which referred to ... well, you can guess!
Personally, I (the writer of this nonsense) side with the last one, because it is purile and vulgar.
[edit] Physical traits
The classic definition of a hobgoblin describes a small, mischievous and swarthy creature, which scuttles around causing trouble.
However, a more modern definition emerged through the Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game. In this setting a hobgoblin is seen as a large and menacing monster. But considering this description was created by weedy, stunted nerds that doesn't necessarily mean it would be a large scary creature in the eyes of normal people.
[edit] The Difference between a Goblin and a Hobgoblin
As most people know goblins look like nerds who have spent at least three days straight playing Dungeons and Dragonsin their mothers basement whilst masturbating over there lvl 3 High elf. Hobgoblins differ from this stereotype and many people say the look alot like Kevin Rud. who has also been playing Dungeons and Dragonsin his mothers basement whilst masturbating over his lvl 5 Dwarf with his good friend "Swany".
The main difference between hobgoblins and goblins is that hobgoblins think that they are funny.
[edit] Examples of hobgoblins
Various examples of hobgoblins can be found in both fiction and reality:
- Gollum from The Lord of the Rings;
- Tom Cruise from Hollywood;
- Napoleon Bonaparte, one of countless conquerors of France, originally from Corsica;
- Puck from William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream";
- Gary Coleman from crappy TV adverts;
- Toulouse Lautrec, the famous French painter and alcoholic.
- Bunyips, hobgoblins of the imagination.
- Steve Jobs, iCEO of Apple Computers and inventor of the Macintosh, Arch-Enemy of Spiderman on his off-days.
- Vladimir Putin Russian Prime Minister. aka loser. His normal day consists of receiving e-mails from other European Powers telling him how bad Russia is and that he is a Loser.
